Shades Darker
by Monstra Steele Grey
Summary: Ever since they parted ways, Christian and Ana have felt lost without each other's embrace. As Christian tries to bring her back, Ana wonders if they can move on from the past. With the promise of change and a new approach to their arrangement, the idea of 'more' is constantly circulating but how long will it last, especially when old foes try to tear them apart?
1. Prologue

**Christian's POV**

 _She's left and it's all because of me._

 _I let the darkness corrode and now she's gone because of me._

 _Would she ever come back?_

 _No, she couldn't. Not with someone like me._

 _"_ _I should've known this wouldn't work. You need to get your shit together, Grey. I'm not the one you want."_

 _No, Ana. You're everything that I want._

 _"_ _I've fallen in love with you, Christian."_

 _No. No, I can't bear to hear that. She can't love me. Not ever._

 _Then, the unfamiliar feeling comes back and I can't fight it even if I try._

 _The feeling has invaded me since she entered my life but I suddenly realize what it is._

 _Love._

 _Yes. Love._

 _I love her. That has to be why I'm feeling this way._

 _Stay with me, Ana._

 _I love you. Come back._

 _"_ _I can't stay. There's no point."_

 _No, Ana._

 _"You need to find someone that obeys you and I'm sorry that it's not me. I just…I can't do this."_

 _No. You're all that I want._

 _I can't live without you. Come back Ana. I love you._

I wake with a start as I try to catch my breath.

 _Fuck._ I can't do this anymore. It's been two weeks and it's only gotten worse.

As I think about my nightmare, I'm reminded of when Ana said that she loved me and even today I still can't believe it. Even after I hurt her, she still claimed to love me and I've never been more confused. How could she love a monster like me? Even after what I did to her?

As I contemplate the memory, it finally occurs to me what I've been feeling since we met. That unfamiliar feeling has been gnawing at me inside but I never wanted to admit the truth.

I love her. That's it.

I can't fight this anymore.

I can't live without her.

Today, I win her back.

I have to win her back.


	2. Chapter One

**I'm getting ready** and I check my reflection one last time. It's been two weeks since I left Christian and I've felt sick ever since.

 _Why did I ever do that?_ We agreed on 'more' but now my life feels emptier even before I met Christian Grey. I didn't even give us a chance after what happened and that's what confused me the most. I asked him to show me how far it could go but once he did, I took it upon myself.

I can't believe I ever thought that we had a chance. We've been incapable since day one.

Still, I miss him but this is what's best for both of us. If only I could truly tell myself that.

After one more look on my ashen face, I ultimately decide that I'm ready for the day. Kate is off in Barbados with Elliot and while I do miss her, I'm glad that I have some time alone. She asked too many questions when I came home that night.

 _"_ _Ana, what happened?", Kate asks horrified as I walk through the door._

 _"_ _Nothing, I'm fine", I lie._

 _"_ _Tell me what happened. Are you hurt?"_

 _"_ _Kate, not now", I say as I quickly dart to my room and quietly close the door. I sink down to the floor and rest my head in my arms. I should've known this day would come. I should've known he wasn't the one._

I shake my head at the memory and desperately try to compose myself. I've recently started at SIP and I promised Jack I would arrive early. He's been easy to work for so far and I appreciate the added distraction. Christian has been racing through my mind and I need to get away. Even in my thoughts, he's suffocating.

Just as I'm picking up my bag, I suddenly hear a knock on the door. I open it and see a delivery man holding a bouquet of flowers with a bottle of champagne and a helicopter-shaped balloon attached.

"Anastasia Steele? The order's already been paid for", the man explains as he hands me my gifts. I tell him thanks and he slowly descends the stairs with the door closing behind. I walk over to the mini bar in the kitchen and carefully set the vase on the top. I notice a card hidden within the flowers and pick it up to see who it is. My heart sinks when I read the note.

 _Anastasia, I hope all is going well for you._

 _Good luck at your new job._

 _Christian._

I sigh heavily and look again upon my gifts. I raise a hand to my mouth and struggle to fight back the tears. I take the champagne and set it in the fridge, put the flowers in direct sunlight but contemplate where to put the balloon. I then decide to tie it on my bed and watch impassively as it bounces lifelessly before my eyes. Before I lose myself again, I gather my things and head outside.

 _I can't think of him right now. I just can't._

 **At SIP, Jack** has me weighing in on submissions with Hannah helping me along. We've become really close since I started working here and everyone else has been welcoming as well. I'm truly thankful to have gotten this position.

As I'm reading my third manuscript for the day, Jack walks by and I stand up to greet him.

"Good morning, Mr. Hyde", I say professionally.

"Ana, call me Jack. We're all friends here remember?", he says kindly as he hands me a cup. "Tea right? Weak? Black?"

"Um, I'm pretty sure I should be getting this for you but thank you, Jack", I babble and he silently chuckles at my response.

Real smooth, Ana.

 **After work, I** catch a bus and ride in silence on the way home. Jack wants me to look over some notes for a meeting but I can't bring myself to do so as Christian once again enters my mind.

 _"_ _Stop", I order but he doesn't listen._

 _"_ _Red", I yell and he stops in his tracks. I grab my suitcase and head into the elevator. I press a button as I try to fight back my tears._

 _"_ _Ana", Christian says and he looks too broken for me to bear. It reflects too well how I feel inside._

 _"_ _Christian", I respond and the doors close, leaving our words hanging in the air. I ride down to the first floor and I feel my heart dropping as well._

 _What have I done?_

I stare out the window and let a few tears fall with the rain. When has any man never left me like this?

 _Because no man was like Christian Grey,_ my subconscious remarks. I try to ignore her but find myself wordlessly agreeing.

Yeah, and that's what hurts me the most.

 **I'm washing some left** -over dishes just as my cell starts to ring. I pick it up and see that it's my mother. I dry my hand and answer the call.

"Hi, Mama", I say as cheerfully as I can manage.

"Anastasia, where have you been? I haven't heard from you in over a week."

"I know. I, um, I was just busy with work."

"How's the new job going for you?"

"Um, it's good. There's definitely a lot more reading than I imagined."

"Well, I'm sure that's exciting", she jokes. I find myself laughing as well.

"Have you heard from Christian, lately?", she asks and I stop breathing. I haven't told her what happened between us and honestly, I don't think I ever will. I couldn't do that to her.

"Um, yeah. He sent me flowers this morning, along with some, other things."

"Have you been doing okay without him?"

"Not really but, it was for the best. This wasn't gonna last."

"Sweetheart, are you ever going to tell me what happened between you two?" I take a deep brath before answering.

"It was just fundamental differences, I guess."

"I'm sorry, sweetie. I wish I was there to help."

 _Not now._

"It's okay. How's Bob doing?"

"He's doing fine. He got a promotion at work recently so we've attained some added luxury."

"That's great. Can I talk to him?"

"Of course", she replies and I start a brief conversation before finishing my work.

 **The next day,** I'm heading off when Jack emerges from his office with some papers in his hand.

"Are those for me?", I ask sweetly.

"If you don't mind. I can't decide if I wanna run with this or not."

"Is it bad?"

"Not really but, I'm just not sure about the author though."

"Okay", I remark shyly.

"You look nice. Big plans for tonight?"

"Um, a friend of mine is having another photography exhibition tonight and I promised I would come to support him."

"Is it that man, José that you mentioned?"

"Yeah."

"Good. Do you need a lift?"

"Oh no, it's okay. I was just gonna catch a bus."

"It's late. I can drop you off before heading home."

"I can't ask you to do that."

"Ana, I'm just trying to be nice. Just let me get my coat and we can go, okay?"

"Um, okay", is all I can manage when he disappears again. After a few moments, he returns, shuts off the lights and leads me outside. On the curb is a silver convertible with chrome wheels and a moonroof sporting the exterior. I didn't know he was this rich.

"Watch your head. I've definitely hit it enough times", he jokes and I politely laugh along. He opens my door for me and I carefully slide inside.

A few minutes go by and Jack pulls up to a small building crowded with people just waiting to get in. Wow. Jose really outdid himself tonight.

"Is this the place?", Jack asks, interrupting my thoughts.

"Um, yeah. Thank you for the ride."

"Anytime. Have fun and I'll see you tomorrow", he remarks and I make my way out before waving goodbye. Jack vanishes into the night and I pull my jacket tighter as a cool breeze hits over my skin. I adjust my dress and head inside.

From wall-to-wall, José has countless pictures of landscapes flooding the room and I'm slightly taken aback. His work looks extraordinary. I'm so proud of him.

As I'm making my way around, I notice some people looking at me strangely but I can't figure out why. One woman hands me a brochure and offers me some champagne which I generously refuse. I don't need the added alcohol tonight.

Once I make my way around a corner, I'm suddenly horrified by what I see. Six large photos of me are hanging on the walls with people surrounding them and admiring the art.

"Jesus Christ", I mumble to myself as I look at the portraits. José has always preferred landscapes over people so I can't imagine why he would choose these ones of me. He wanted me to pose for some last week but never told me why and now I know what he was planning to do with them. _Shit._

"Ana!", José calls out to me and I turn around to see him strutting towards me with a dark suit and a big smile on his face. He looks so proud.

"Hi, José", I exclaim as he pulls me in for a big hug.

"I'm so glad you made it. What do you think?"

"These look amazing, José but when were you going to tell me that I was gonna be in your show?"

"If I had asked, I knew you would be too shy so I figured I surprised you instead. I know it's not my usual shindig but you", he says as he points towards the photos. "It's my best stuff."

"Um", I croak.

"Do you like them?", he enquires nervously.

"They are super…large." How the hell am I supposed to react to this?

"Hey, at least somebody likes them. I just heard that a gentleman wanted to buy all six."

"All six?"

"I know right? Least I'm not the only one that appreciates them."

"José, I didn't mean", I begin but before I can answer, the same woman from before pardons us and addresses herself to him.

"I'll be right back", he declares and leaves with her.

 _Who could possibly want these photos of me?_ Do I really wanna be ogled by strangers in their homes? The idea makes me nauseas.

"Anastasia?", I hear someone ask and turn around as my heart drops; it's Christian. He's wearing a form fitting sweatshirt with dark jeans, long overcoat and looks slightly larger than when I last saw him. His hair is also shorter and I can tell he hasn't shaved since I left. I can hardly breathe in his wake and I don't know what to say.  
"I was hoping you would be here", he explains and I watch as he runs a hand through his hair. _Shit, he's nervous._

"What are you doing here?", I ask.

"For you", he answers. I scoff and walk away.  
"Ana", I hear him call out as he rushes to catch up with me as I head out the door. I welcome the cold and listen as the backdoor opens and Christian is close behind me.

"Ana", he huffs and I reluctantly turn around.

"What do you want?"

"I just want to talk", he retorts desperately.

"I think we reached our quota of conversations for now", I remark dryly.

"Listen, I'm not very good at this and I never wanted to try again but please, just hear me out…"

"Why should I? I thought we agreed this wouldn't work."

"I know but, I haven't been the same without you. Just, come with me to dinner and we can talk."

"Oh, now you want to talk? I thought you preferred sex over talking with me."

"Ana, please…", he begins by I hold up my hand to stop him.

"Christian, I can't do this right now. I know what I asked the last time we saw each other but, I can't get over the fact that you were getting off on the pain you inflicted. I can tell that's still in you and I just don't know if I can revisit that right now."

"Please", he pleads and the look in his eyes tells me he means it.

"I can't", I say, defeated.

Before I know it, he takes me in his arms and gently grasps my head as he kisses me feverishly and I'm lost in his embrace. I slowly kiss him back as a small moan emanates in my throat but after a few moments, I pull and push him away, the same as I did the last night we were together.

"Christ, Ana", he says exasperated but ultimately releases me and once again runs a hand through his hair.

"Please, I only want to talk. Have dinner with me", he pleads again and soon, I let out a long sigh before giving my answer.

"Okay fine, I will have dinner with you. Because I'm hungry but we are only talking and that is it."

"I can do that", he says with relief. Holy cow. I'm not used to him agreeing so quickly.

"Hold on", I demand and walk back inside to say goodbye to José. He's still deep in conversation when I finally locate him but excuses himself when he sees me approaching.

"There you are", he exclaims.

"I gotta go but congratulations on your show, José."

"You're leaving already?"

"I'm sorry but something just came up. I'm so proud of you and good luck with the rest of the showing." He smiles unassumingly but takes me in for a quick hug before pulling away. I tell him that I'll see him soon and with one final wave, I cautiously make my way to Christian. He looks nervous when I return.

"Ready?", he asks.

"Yes", I declare and he leads down an alleyway before stopping at a nearby restaurant. He lets me in first and takes me to a nearby table with a window. He pulls my chair out for me and I squirm slightly before sitting down. He sets his overcoat over the back of the chair before directing his attention to a waiter.

"Can I help you, sir?", he asks professionally.

"Two steaks, medium. Fries and green vegetables and bring me a wine list as well."

"Yes sir", the waiter announces and quickly hurries off before I can protest.

"I can see your controlling ways haven't stopped", I remark as I roll my eyes.

"Don't start, Anastasia", he says coolly.

"Are you ever gonna stop treating me like a child?" As I say this, he takes a deep breath as if to contain himself but once his eyes match mine, he looks calmer and I'm lost once again.

"I apologize. Would you like to choose the wine?", he inquires suddenly and I'm momentarily taken aback just as the waiter returns with the wine list. Christian excuses him before handing it to me.

"I'll have whatever you're having", I sigh. Christian takes the hint and looks over the list. He chooses quickly and sets the menu down on the table.

"So, let's talk", I say after a while and Christian relaxes before giving me his answer.

"I want you back. I'd like to renegotiate terms for us." _What?_

"Why?"

"I told you, I haven't been the same without you. I'm nervous about where this is leading and it's not a feeling I'm entirely used to."

"I wonder why", I say under my breath.

"Ana…"

"Christian, you and I both know that this can't work out. You have needs and I don't feel as if I can satisfy you the way you want me to. You said it yourself, it's just the way you are. How can we ever get past that?"

"But what happened last time, it's not gonna happen again."

"How can you say that?"

"Ana, I know what happened but I haven't forgiven myself after what I did to you. I've never dealt with this with anyone else and after you were gone, I swore I would get you back."

"But I don't see how. I know I asked you to punish me but once it transpired…I couldn't accept it."

"But why didn't you safe-word?"

"I just wanted to make you happy", I confess.

"You already make me happy. Further than you know. But how can I trust you when you don't tell me things like this? We've discussed this."

"How can I when I'm afraid of your reaction? Need I remind you of when you took me to the boathouse at your parent's house? That was only because you were upset with me because I didn't tell you about Georgia."

"I was worried you were leaving me for good. Those last few days were too sufferable for me to bear."

"Why would you think that?" He sighs heavily before making a response.

"Do you remember when I told you that I assumed you wouldn't be up for what I wanted?"

 _I do._

"Yes."

"I was also scared that you would see the monster inside me and that you would leave for good. Once you saw the Red Room, I thought you would run but you stayed and that still surprises me in ways I don't understand. I never would've imagined that that day would come." When he says this, my eyes go wide at his comment. He thinks he's a monster? No, Fifty. Don't call yourself that.

"Christian, you're not a monster and I can't believe you would call yourself that. But, everything you wanted me to be, I can't give it to you even when I try. The last time was too far for me and I'm still confused about what we have and if it's what I wanted. I wasn't lying when I said I love you, and I still do, but how can we live with the fact that you enjoyed the pain you inflicted and that I can never be the Submissive you want?" He stares at me blankly as if he doesn't understand what I've just said.

"You still love me?", he questions softly.

"I never stopped", I reply truthfully. Even after what occurred, my feelings have never reformed. I love this man and I feel I always will.

"I love you too:, he remarks and now I'm the one that's left speechless.

"What?"

"I know I shouldn't be saying it but, I've had this unfamiliar emotion gnawing at me inside but I didn't realize it until after you were gone. I want to make this work, Anastasia. And I still want this with you." I stare at him blankly and repeat the words in my head.

 _"_ _I love you too."_ He loves me. This broken, beautiful man loves me. All those nights of remorse and pain suddenly vanish as I contemplate his words.

"But you need all those things", I say quietly.

"I need you more."

 **After dinner, Christian** drives me back home and I'm overwhelmed by what we discussed.

 _He loves me._ I don't believe it. Even after what I did to me, he still feels the same. Just when I didn't feel like I was enough.

Once we're at the door, Christian hands me a small package and I curiously take it from his hands.

"No strings attached", he retorts and I a small smile tugs at my face.

"Do you want to come inside? Kate's not here."

"I'm fully aware but I have to get back." _How…_ _? Oh right, Elliot._

"Okay", is all I can manage.

"I'm sorry." I look at him as if I don't know what he means. "For hurting you and never telling you this."

"I'm sorry, too", I admit and I know it's true. Before I can stop myself, I lean up and kiss him and he immediately reacts to my embrace. He pushes me against the wall and I moan deeply. I hear a low groan in the back of his throat and his tongue quickly finds mine as he deepens the kiss. After a few moments, he pulls away and we're both breathing hard. I reach up to touch his face and he doesn't stop me as I do.

"This is spiky", I joke. "I like it." He chuckles in response.

"I thought you wanted to talk?", he asks amused with a wicked gleam in his eyes.

"As always, you unknot me."

"I like seeing you in knots", he smirks and I see the carnal desire burning in his eyes.

"I'll call you tomorrow", he announces and goes to open the door for me.

"Okay. Goodnight", I answer as I give him one last kiss. I slowly walk into the apartment and Christian slowly closes the door behind me. I smile as I walk up the steps and walk welcomingly into my home. I set the box down on an adjacent table before slipping my jacket off and walking to the window. Christian is silently sitting in his car but it doesn't look like he wants to go. I open the box and smile t the contents. Inside are my computer, phone and keys to my car sitting neatly in-place. I pick up my phone and turn it on. I smirk to myself and see that Christian's number is still in my contacts, so I tap on his name and type "Thank you for 'more'. Laters baby" and press **send**. I then decide to head for my room but my smile cannot be contained. I climb into bed, turn out the lights, and for the first time in two weeks, fall asleep peacefully with Christian on my mind.

 _Maybe this can work out after all._


	3. Chapter Two

**Work has been slow** but that might be because I'm distracted by my thoughts. He hasn't left my mind since last night and I've been smiling nonstop. I think everyone's starting to notice but it wouldn't be a first when I was working at GEH. Christian's comments caught me off-guard and I still can't believe what he proclaimed to me.

 _"_ _I love you too", he remarks and now I'm the one that's left speechless._

 _"_ _What?"_

 _"_ _I know I shouldn't be saying it but, I've had this unfamiliar emotion gnawing at me inside but I didn't realize it until after you were gone. I want to make this work, Anastasia. And I still want this with you."_

 _Yeah, me too._

As I'm going over some paperwork for an upcoming meeting, Jack reappears from his office with some files stacked in his arms.

"Ana, could you make some copies for me? I'm running a little late", he asks.

"Yeah, sure Jack", I answer and quickly stand to take the files.

"By the way, we're all going to Lori's for some drinks after work. You wanna come along?"

"Um, who's Lori?"

"Oh, it's a bar around the corner. Fridays are kind of a ritual. You should come. Take a chance to socialize a little."

"Oh, um…", I stutter just before hearing my phone **ping** from my desk.

"Take it. I'll come check on you when I'm done", Jack states before heading off. I set the papers down and answer my phone; it's Christian.

"Hi."

"Miss Steele, how's work going for you?"

"Feeling jealous, Mr. Grey?", I joke.

"Always, Miss Steele. Are you almost done?"

"Why?"

"I was wondering if we could have dinner tonight. I wanted to talk about us."

"Us?"

"If you'd be willing to take me up on my offer."

"Oh, um. Okay. I'll be done in about an hour but I think my boss wants me to go out for drinks."

"Will you be alone?"

"No, my co-workers will be there too."

"Would you like me to escort you? I can be there when you get off work."

"I would love that; thank you."

"Good. Where is it?"

"Lori's."

"I'll see you then. Laters, baby", he replies and I giggle in response before hanging up. I set my phone down, pick up the papers and head for the copy room, still grinning as I do.

 **I'm standing by** the curb waiting for Christian as a cold breeze whips across my skin. Shit, it's cold today.

 _Maybe Christian can help with that,_ my inner goddess remarks. I do my best to ignore her and but still giggle at the thought.

As I'm hugging my jacket closer to my body, I have the sudden feeling like I'm being watched. I check my surroundings but see nothing. It feels uneasy but I can't make out why. Before I can ponder it further, Christian pulls up and my thoughts are put on hold. Taylor steps out and opens Christian's door before regarding me with a warm smile.

"Ana", he remarks.

"Hi, Taylor", I answer. Christian climbs out, whispers something to Taylor and heads towards my direction.

"Good evening, Miss Steele. Are you ready to go?"

"Always, Mr. Grey", I reply sweetly. He offers his hand for mine and I accept. We head towards Lori's and I feel more at peace.

 **Lori's is packed** by the time we arrive but I'm able to find Jack over by the bar. He waves over to me and me and Christian make our way.

"Glad you could make it Ana."

"Hi, Jack. Um, this is Christian, my, um…" _Shit._ _How do I explain this?_

"I'm the boyfriend", Christian interjects.

"I'm the boss", Jack responds as he shakes hands with Christian. "What'll you have, Chris?" _Jesus, Jack._

"I can handle it, Jack. Thanks though."

"Sure thing. What do you do for a living, Christian?"

"I'm the CEO of Grey Enterprises Holdings Inc. specializing in agriculture projects. My goal is to eradicate hunger and provide better living stabilities for people around the world."

"That sounds pretty impressive. Has that always been a passion of yours?"

"More or less. I have deep knowledge on the subject so it's a very personal issue for me."

"Understood. It's one of the things that makes the job worthwhile."  
"I agree."

Jack glances at me with a warm smile and I shyly smile in return. Christian notices my expression and hugs me tighter to his side.

"Oh, excuse me, I have to take this", Jack affirms and goes to answer a call. Once he's out of earshot, Christian turns towards me.

"Good-looking guy. Must be a better boss than me."

"Seriously, Christian? He's nothing like you so don't play the jealousy card, okay?"

"Jealousy card?", he asks with amusement.

"You know what I mean."

"I'm not jealous, Miss Steele. I'm just concerned for you."

"Why?"

"You don't know?"

"Know what?"

"Jack Hyde has never had an assistant last for more than three weeks."

"You don't think I'm gonna last?"

"That's not it, but I can tell he wants what's mine."

"Yours? I'm not your submissive, Christian and we both know that I never signed the contract. You can't control everything I say or do."

"It's not about that. I just wanna make sure he doesn't go out of line."

"Why would you care?" As I say this, he avoids my gaze. Shit.

"You bought SIP?" He says nothing and orders a beer.

"Christian?"

"It was before you started working there."

"How does that make it different?"

"I've always wanted to move into publishing and SIP was the best fit."

"But you're gonna be my boss."

"Technically I'll be your boss's boss's boss."

"And I'm gonna be sleeping with my boss's boss's boss."

"But right now, you're arguing with him."

"Yeah, cause he's being an ass." As I say this, he looks at me with amusement.

"An ass? Really?"

"What, nobody's called you that before?"

"Maybe behind my back."

"I highly doubt that."

"Ana…"

"You can't argue with me anymore. I'm still technically at work."

"Hmm. Might have to do something about that", he remarks with that look in his eyes. _Oh._

Before I can answer, Jack returns and I try to act discreet.

 **After an hour or so,** Jack drives off in his convertible and me and Christian are standing on the curb.

"Can I still take you up on dinner?", Christian asks me.

"Can we go home instead? I can make us something."

"I like the sound of that."

"That's not what I meant", I say as I roll my eyes.

"Did you just roll your eyes at me, Miss Steele?"

"Yes I did. But there's nothing you can do about it."

"Challenging woman."

"Challenging man."

As I look past Christian's shoulder, I suddenly notice a woman by the road but once she catches my gaze, she quickly turns away. Christian notices my expression and looks her way as well.

"What is it?"

"Um, nothing. I just thought I saw someone."

"Come. I wanna talk about our relationship", he affirms and we head off. Same as always, my subconscious remarks and I roll my eyes in response.

 **Back at my apartment,** Christian helps me with some groceries before heading inside. We decided on stir fry since it's quick and easy and honestly, that's what I prefer. Christian wants to talk, for once, and I'm more than anxious to start discussing what he wants. Does he still want me as a submissive? Would he be back if he didn't?

"Here. You can chop the peppers. I'll do the rest", I remark but Christian looks slightly confused by my comment.

"Is something wrong?", I ask. _Has he never seen a pepper before?_

"Not at all, Miss Steele", he replies and takes the peppers as he looks for a cutting board and knife.

 **A few minutes go** by but what amazes me the most is Christian's inability to cut something. His slices are uneven and takes longer than how I would do it, and I can't help but wonder if this is his first time doing this. Has he never cooked before?

"You need a hand with that?", I finally ask after a while.

"I'll manage", he answers.

"I can see that."

"Maybe this time we can talk about us."

"Always to the point, Mr. Grey."

"Likewise, Miss Steele."

"What do you want to talk about?" He takes a deep breath before answering. Is he nervous?

"Would you be willing to go off the contract and have a real relationship?" _Whoa._ Not what I was expecting to hear.

"You don't want me to sign the contract anymore?"

"I figured it wouldn't be worth it after what happened the last time."

"Christian, I'm not mad at you for that. I was more upset at how I felt afterwards than what actually happened between us. I just felt incompatible with you and needed some time to think about it. It was just like when I went to Georgia for a while."

"Were you expecting it at all?"

"Honestly, no I wasn't. I just kept telling myself that you wouldn't hurt me", I confess. Christian stops cutting and lets out a heavy sigh.

"What is it?"

"I kept telling myself that I would never go that far. But when you asked, I just couldn't say no."

"Did you ever think it would come to this?"

"I was hoping it wouldn't. It was just like in New York. I didn't want to mislead you."

"It's not that, Christian. I just didn't feel as if I was enough for you. You were taking me down a path I couldn't follow and after what happened, I finally realized that it could never work like we'd hoped."

"Do you regret ever meeting me at all?" I stand gaping at his words and can't believe what I just heard. I turn off the stove and turn him to face me, careful not to touch his forbidden areas.

"I never regretted meeting you, Christian. Even after what happened. It wasn't past tense when I said I loved you and even now I still feel the same. I love you, Christian. And nothing you do could make me change my mind." He smiles his shy, boyish smile but looks pleased with my answer. Deep down in my heart, I know what I said is true. Nothing could ever change the way I've felt ever since we met. And even now, I still feel the way I did when I saw him for the first time. I love this man. And I always will.

"I love you, too", he says after a while and I smile in response. I go to touch his face but he tenses before I can. I move my hand to his forearms instead and squeeze gently.

"I'm gonna need a roadmap."

"I know."

"You know I'm not gonna hurt you, right?"

"It's not that, Anastasia. I just can't bear to be touched."

"Because of what happened to you?"

"Yes", he confesses and my heart tugs at his words. _Oh, Fifty…_

Before I can stop myself, I lean up and kiss him deeply as he groans in return. His tongue glides past my lips and finds my own as he deepens the kiss. I quietly moan at his touch and just don't want him to pull away. Once he does I'm longing for more.

"Take me", I whisper.

"Ana…"

"Please. I've gone too long without you in my life."

"Anastasia, we're not together yet. Don't you want to take things slow?" I look up at him and slowly slide my hand around his neck.

"I want you", I whisper and deep down, I mean it. I've wanted him when we met and I still want him now.

"Just tell me when to stop, okay? We'll only go as far as you want", he remarks. I can tell he feels it too.

"Okay", I smile sweetly and soon, Christian lifts me up and carries me to my room. I'm so glad I don't have to work tomorrow. All I want is him.


	4. Chapter Three

**Christian takes me** to my room and closes the door behind. He sets me down carefully on the floor and gently caresses my cheek with the tips of his fingers. My breath hitches as I lean into his touch and embrace his soft skin. I want him. Now. It's been too long for me to wait.

"Are you sure you want this?", he asks nervously and the look in his eyes tells me he's unsure. I smirk and whisper in his ear.

"I'm too dressed", I reply and slowly bite my lip as well. He smirks in return and kisses me again. He slowly unbuttons my blouse and I watch as he slides it down my shoulders to my elbows before slipping it off my arms and dropping it to the floor.

"Keep going", I whisper. Christian then undoes my bra and guides the straps down in the same fashion as before. He softly kisses my shoulder and guides the tip of his tongue to the base of my neck. I quietly moan as he steps closer to close the space between us and my heartrate quickens as I stare into his eyes. That carnal look is deep and I can barely breathe as he stares down into my guileless eyes. God, he's beautiful.

"What now?", he asks seductively. I exhale sharply. _How does he do this to me?_

"Go lower. Please", I beg and he smirks at my request. He kisses me briefly before leaving a trail of kisses down my neck and my breasts, and then he latches his teeth on my nipple and sucks gently. My head falls back at the pleasure and I struggle to hold back my moan. He repeats the assault on the other nipple and twists the other one around his thumb and forefinger, hardening them as he does. He then goes lower down, lightly kissing my skin until he reaches his goal. He unbuttons my jeans and slides down the zipper, and my breath catches in my throat. He then slides my jeans slowly down to my ankles and I hold onto him and he takes them off completely. He then hooks his thumbs into the waistband of my panties and agonizingly slides them down as well. He starts to stand back up but I stop him before he can.

"Kiss me", I beg.

"Where?", he smirks. I point my finger to the apex of my thighs and he immediately takes the hint.

"Oh, with pleasure", he simply says and widens my legs further so my clitoris is more exposed. He slowly inserts a finger into me and I hold onto his shoulders for dear life. He slowly pumps his finger in and out and I feel my legs quaking from his touch. He then removes his fingers and skillfully guides his tongue around and around my clitoris. My head falls back as he laps me up and I'm calling out for mercy from his hypnotizing assault. I feel my legs shaking again and grasp his shoulders harder. I don't want to come. I don't have the strength. I gently pull him away and motion for him to stand. I stand on my toes and kiss him, desperate for his taste. His tongue quickly finds mine and I let out a small moan as he invades my mouth and I invade his. I go for the buttons on his shirt but he stops me before I can let one loose.

"What do you want, Anastasia?", he pants.

"I want all of you", I whisper and before I know it, he pushes me on the bed causing a loud **thump** to be heard. I giggle as I watch him remove the last of his clothes, pull out a condom from the back pocket of his jeans, and climb on top.

"This is what you want?", he asks.

"Yes, please", I answer. He smirks and lifts my hips before gentle entering me and filling with his length. I gasp and grasp his arms, careful with where I touch, and he starts to move, really move.

"Christian", I moan.

"Come for me, baby. Don't hold back", he breathes and pins my hands by my head, firmly holding me in place. I wrap my legs around his waist as he lowers himself so I can feel more of his power. My legs start to shake and I can tell I'm coming close.

"Christian, please."

"Come for me, Ana", he growls and that's all it takes for me to fall apart. I call out his name and my back arches and my climax takes over.

"Fuck, Ana", he hisses and I watch as his body stiffens. Once he stills, he falls on my chest and we're both breathing hard. I run my fingers through his hair and gently kiss his head as I hold him close.

"Don't ever leave me", he whispers.

"I never will. I love you", I reply and sense his smile on my chest. He kisses my breasts before responding and rising to meet my eyes.

"I love you too", he smiles and gives me a tender kiss.

 **Some time passes** and Christian and I are lying on the bed, holding each other close with him on my chest. He intertwines his fingers with my own and raises my hand to his lips. He kisses me gently and I can't hide my smile.

"Why do you think you waited?", he suddenly asks and I'm momentarily confused by what he means.

"For sex", he explains.

"I guess I was just waiting for something exceptional. All the books I was reading just showed me what I wanted, but nobody ever measured up to that. I guess I kind of gave up until…"

"Until?"

"Until I met you." I can sense his smile against my skin.

"No regrets?", he asks.

"No regrets", I reply as I kiss his head.

"Was it hard for you? To be away from me for so long?", I inquire. He lets out a long sigh before responding. _Shit._ _Did I go too far?_

"To be honest, it's never been this hard for me. As soon as you left, I knew I made a mistake."

"What happened?" He tenses as I say this.

"I went to go talk to Elena. I needed her advice."

"Oh."

"It wasn't at first. It took a few days since I didn't feel like talking with anyone and became more aggressive towards my employees. Even my family hasn't heard from me since you left."

"Did you have nightmares again?"

"Yes. They started getting worse and I had to go see Dr. Flynn, my therapist. I just couldn't handle it anymore. I had to win you back." I kiss him again and fight to hold back my tears. I'm upset he went to go and see _her,_ but I'm more upset at what's happened since I left. I think back to when I first saw him having a nightmare. If it's gotten worse than that, my hearts aches even more for him. _My Fifty…_

"I'm so sorry."

"Don't be. It's my fault that you left."

"I asked you to hurt me."

"I should've said no." I let out a long sigh.

"You said that I hold all the power and not you. Why are you blaming yourself for this?"

"I've told you before that I want to punish you, but the way I did made you leave, even after I've told you that I would never go that far."

"Christian, I told you how I felt. But, I just never thought that we could work. Yes, you punished me and yes it hurt. But, if any punishment would be like that, then how could I ever be your submissive? I just wanted to make you happy because I love you. I just need more time to get used to this."

"How much time?"

"I don't know. But I'm not leaving. No matter what." He breathes a sigh of relief and sits up before giving me a brief kiss.

"You want to take it slow?", he asks.

"Just for now. Just a, what do you call it? A vanilla relationship?"

"Vanilla relationship?"

"Like normal people?"

"Sure. I can do that."

"Good. I think I can too."

"Would you ever consider working for me again?"

"I don't think that's a good idea. Besides, you already own my company."

"I can make myself scarce", he remarks with amusement.

"Not with your stalking abilities", I joke.

"You surprise me, Miss Steele."

"Likewise, Mr. Grey."

"I'm sorry you had to find out that way."

"It's okay. It just shocked me is all", I reply before kissing his fingers one by one.

"What is it?"

"Nothing. Um, I was just thinking about who found out about us. Ros never told me so, I've just been curious about it is all." As I say this, Christian avoids my gaze and stands to discard the condom in the wastebasket. _What's he thinking?_

"Do you know?", I enquire.

"It's nothing important", he responds impassively. A sudden thought enters my mind.

"Was it Elena?" It would make sense. She warned me about hurting Christian the last time I had the displeasure of her company, but would she really go that far? As I look at Christian for clues, he gives nothing away.

"Christian?", I press him.

"Go to sleep. I have to make a phone call", he orders and leaves. _What was that about?_

I decide to lie back down and close my eyes briefly, trying to contemplate Christian's words in my head. Does he know who found out about us?

 _Would he tell you?,_ my subconscious asks. Knowing him, he probably wouldn't. But even now, I know that's not completely true.

 **A few minutes pass** and I've fallen fast asleep. I then feel a slight shift in the mattress and Christian's arm wrap around my body. He pulls me close and kisses my shoulder and wraps his leg in-between mine. I take his hand and kiss it gently as he stirs slightly. I carefully turn over and my eyes meet with his. I reach up to gently stroke his face and he stiffens slightly as I do.

"It's okay", I whisper.

"I know. Because I'm here with you", he smiles shyly and gives me a quick kiss. I kiss him again and he pulls me closer as I moan. Before I know it, he pulls my legs over his body so that I'm on top, his lips never leaving mine. When I pull away, I'm panting but I don't want him to stop. I kiss him one more time before crawling down the bed, lightly kissing him as I do. I hear him groan in the back of his throat as I reach my goal. I twist my tongue around his pubic hair, and grip his member and move my thumb over his tip. I lick my lips and take him in my mouth. I sheath my teeth as I take him deeper, watching as his chest heaves with my every move. _My own Christian Grey flavored popsicle._ I smirk at the thought.

"Shit. Fuck, Ana", he breathes and I go deeper as he does. I go as far as I can and watch him stiffen as I do.

"Ana, stop. I don't want to come", he orders but I don't care. I grip him harder and soon feel a sticky substance shoot up into my mouth. I quickly swallow it and come up for air, with a look of satisfaction on my face.

"Are you ever going to do as you're told?", he enquires with a hint of amusement on his face.

"Probably not", I remark. He then reaches out his hand for mine and I accept it without hesitation.

"Come. I want you on top", he whispers. I quickly do as I'm told. I grip him and am about to slide down but he stops me before I can.

"What is it?"

"Condom."

"I took my pill", I confess and he raises an eyebrow as I do.

"I was hoping you'd come back", I explain and he grins.

"Good girl", he simply says and pulls me down onto his length. I groan at the feel and start to work up my pace. He grasps my hips to keep my in place and I hold onto the metal bar for dear life. I ride him up. Down. Up. Down with no intention of stopping.

"Fuck, Ana", he moans and I can tell he's close.

"Come for me", I order and can see the lust and love in his eyes. Fuck, I love this man.

"I love you", he confesses and I'm close as well.

"I love you too", I answer and soon, he calls out my name to the ceiling and stills as I continue my assault. I feel my walls tightening and my head falls back as I sense my climax approaching. Soon, my orgasm rips through my body and I call out as it does. Christian helps me off of his lap and lies me down on the bed, panting hard.

"Well done, Miss Steele."

"We aim to please, Mr. Grey." He just smiles and kisses me tenderly. He holds me close and I feel my eyelids getting heavier by the second. Soon, I close my eyes and fall asleep, holding Christian close in my arms and him holding me as well.

 **A few hours pass** and I'm suddenly awoken from my sleep. I sense a movement at the end of my bed but when I glance at Christian, he's fast asleep. I blink a few times and look in the direction of the movement, but once I do, there's nothing there but I still sense that we're being watched. I regard Christian intently and carefully make my way out of the bed. I grab a bathrobe from the bedroom door and cautiously check the apartment. I double-check the doors and windows but they're all locked. _Weird._

I open the front door and check downstairs. Nothing. I lock the door again and after one more check, head back to my room. Christian is still sleeping peacefully and I smile at the sight. Even when he's comatose, he's just as beautiful as when I first met him.

 _And happier too,_ my subconscious remarks and I can't help my agreement. But will it last? I can't say but at least we can try. I'm always willing to try. For him.

I slip out of my bathrobe and let it fall to the ground. I carefully climb into bed and cover Christian and me with the sheet. I give him a soft kiss on the cheek and he lets out a small hum in response. I lie down on my side and slide in as close as I can, wary not to wake him up. I close my eyes and fall asleep, knowing that I'm safe with the man I love. And who loves me.


	5. Chapter Four

**Christian's POV**

 _Mommy is happier today. I like it when Mommy's happy. She's brushing her hair and smiling. I like it when Mommy smiles._

 _Mommy sees me and asks me to come over._

 _"_ _You want to brush my hair, Maggot?"_

 _I nod enthusiastically. I like brushing Mommy's hair._

 _I brush and brush Mommy's hair. I get all the tangles out and Mommy smiles again._

 _She picks me up and sits me on her lap. She kisses my head and hugs me tight._

 _"_ _We're gonna be okay, Maggot", she whispers in my ear._

 _"_ _We're gonna be okay."_

I wake startled and momentarily conflicted. For a second, I forget where I am. _Right, Ana's. I'm at Ana's place._ The realization is comforting. I look over my shoulder and see she's resting peacefully, her breasts rising and falling with every breath and her lips slightly parted. She looks adorable. I carefully move some stray strands of hair away from her face and she slightly shifts as I do. I sit up and continue to watch her, almost forgetting what it felt like when I watched her before she left, crying in her room after I hit her. I shudder at the thought.

 _Don't go there, Grey. She's here now._

But for how long? Could we make it work this time? She's left once but would she do it again? God, I hope not. Once was enough. I can't go through that again. Once was enough.

I sit up carefully, cautious not to disturb her, grab my jeans from off the floor, and step into the living room. I head for the kitchen and grab a glass from the cupboard before heading for the sink and pouring myself a drink. I drink slowly but welcome the liquid to my throat. After I finish, I set the glass in the sink and rest my hands on the edge.

I'm here with Ana. After two weeks of not seeing her, she's finally back in my life. Has any Submissive ever left me like this?

 _Never. Except her._

I lower my head to take in my thoughts. I talked with Elena and Dr. Flynn about my feelings for Ana, and both of them told me that I should tell her how I feel. I didn't know this emotion in full until she left me but being with her now, I know that it's more intense. I never felt more afraid when she confessed them to me though.

 _"_ _I've fallen in love with you, Christian", I whisper._

 _"_ _Ana, you can't love me."_

 _"_ _Why?"_

 _"_ _Because of what I did to you. Look at you. I can't make you happy."_

 _"_ _But you do make me happy."_

 _"_ _Not at the moment, not doing what I want to do."_

I remember a time when Carrick was teaching me how to dive from the high board and how my brief fear escaped from me as soon as I hit the water. Ana was different. My fear was unspoken until that moment, but never in a million years would I have ever expected her to say those words to me, even after what I did to her. Even now, she still feels the same and I don't know whether to feel relieved or confused. I kept telling myself that it wasn't true. She couldn't love me. How could anyone love a monster? Or a fucked-up son of a bitch as someone once called me?

 _No, don't go there, Grey._

Even the realization that I was in love with Ana is something I wasn't expecting in the slightest, but after all this, it makes sense. I do love her and can't imagine my life without her by my side. Fuck the paperwork. I just want her as she is. Beautiful, innocent, inexperienced Ana that I've loved more than any woman in my life.

 _Sappy, Grey._

 _I don't fucking care._

I then sense someone nearby and look up to see Ana wearing a bathrobe and leaning by the door. Her hair is pulled up in a ponytail and the robe opens slightly around her slim figure, briefly coming undone to show off her flawless skin. _Fuck, she looks hot._ My cock stirs in agreement.

"Good morning, Anastasia", I remark.

"Good morning", she answers sweetly. "I woke up and you weren't there."

"I didn't want to disturb you", I respond as I step closer and break the space between us. I plant a quick kiss on her lips.

"I wouldn't mind", she replies coyly. _Oh?_

"Is that a challenge, Miss Steele?"

"Always, Mr. Grey." As always, not what I was expecting but sooner or later, she always disarms me.

Accepting her proposal, I pick her up in my arms and carry her to her bedroom. I gently lie her on the bed and kiss her softly, followed by a reward of her smiling in return.

"Do you trust me?", I ask.

"Of course I do", she breathes.

"Good. Stay here then. I want to try something with you", I respond and she looks at me quizzically in return. I smirk at her expression but leave before she has a chance to protest. I head for the kitchen and open the freezer. Fortunately, I find what I need. I grab a spoon from a drawer nearby and make my way back for Ana's bedroom. She looks at the items in my hand and her brows furrow as well.

"Ice cream?", she asks.

"You don't miss much, Miss Steele", I answer, remembering the last time she gave me the same reaction.

"Stay still", I order and set the carton down on the side table with the spoon close behind. I untie Ana's robe and motion for her to sit up so I can take it off. I'm then pleased that she's not wearing anything underneath. _Good girl._ I then take the sash from her robe before tossing the robe on the ground, and then wrap the sash around her wrists before tying them to the head of the bed.

"This feels familiar", she smirks and I'm then reminded of the last time I tied her up on her bed. The thought is pleasing.

"I remember that. I just have something a little different in mind."

"What is it?"

"Always so impatient, Miss Steele."

"Likewise, Mr. Grey."

"Touché", I respond as impassively as I can manage but fail miserably.

"Do you want to blindfold me, too?", she suddenly asks out of nowhere. _Whoa, baby. We're not going that far just yet._

"So persistent, Miss Steele, but no, I'm not."

"Why?" I let out a long sigh before I respond.

"I'm just not ready for it", I say blankly and soon, she catches that I want to drop the subject. She presses her lips into a hard line and writhes underneath, desperately trying to move more.

"Tell me when to stop", I order gently, and grab the carton of ice cream and spoon as well. I take off the lid and set it to the side. I attempt to take a scoop but it's too frozen for a large bite. I take what I can and welcome the ice cream to my mouth. _Damn, that's good._ I take another bite as it slowly melts in the container.

"Do you want some?", I enquire and Ana slowly nods her head. I take another scoop and carefully insert it in her mouth, watching in amazement at her slowly sucking the contents off. _Shit._ That might as well be my cock that she's addressing. Before I can let her distract me any further, I remove the spoon and stick it back in the carton. Ana watches me warily, unsure of where I'm going next.

"Do you trust me?"

"Yes", she whispers.

"Just tell me when to stop." With that, I take a smaller scoop than before, just enough to cover the spoon, and place it slowly on Ana's breast.

"Ah", she gasps and arches her back as the ice cream slowly drips off her skin.

"Stay still", I warn her and repeat the assault again. Ana gasps again and I watch as tiny goosebumps start to form on her body. Her legs twist from under me and I climb over so that my body can keep her more in place.

"Just embrace it, baby. Okay?"

"Okay", she squeaks and I smirk in response. I take more ice cream and glide it slowly down her breasts, down her sternum, and then to her chest. She shivers but doesn't tell me to stop. I guide the spoon down her belly to her sex, and her mouth forms a perfect O as it goes further, catching her by surprise.

"Christian…", she moans.

"Hush." I take the spoon and lightly guide it down her arousal, and back up again through her pubic hair. Ana bites her lip but a small moan still escapes from her mouth.

"We're gonna have to teach you to be quiet."

I then set the ice cream and spoon back on the side table and lower myself so I'm hovering directly above Ana. I kiss her briefly before guiding my tongue down her chin, to her neck, touching every place that I did before. I plant soft kisses on her skin and continue to go lower. I latch my teeth onto her nipple and her back arches once again as I suck, lick, and bite her nipple gently, instantly causing it to harden as I do. I then repeat the same process on the other nipple and Ana moans in pleasure, but I don't care. I like seeing her like this. I continue running the tip of my tongue down where I touched until finally reaching my goal. I push her legs further apart and gently tug on her pubic hair, causing her legs to bend in retort. I inhale her sweet scent before licking her clitoris, greedily taking her with every movement I can make.

"Oh, Christian…", she moans and soon her legs start to quiver as well. I continue my assault and carefully slip a finger inside her, soon followed by another one close behind. I chastely kiss her pubic hair and pump my fingers cautiously in and out. Soon, she stiffens again as her orgasm escapes her and she sags on the bed.

"We're not done yet", I remark and carefully glide my fingers out, and watch her wince in return. I slip my jeans off and grab a condom from the back pocket and make quick effort of ripping the packet with my teeth before sliding it on my length. I grab Ana's hips and lift her slightly, before grabbing myself and taking her whole. I rock my hips slowly back and forth, working up a steady pace, and Ana groans with every thrust.

"Christian, please."

"Come for me, Ana. Come for me again." Not too long after I say this, she calls out an incoherent version of my name and I can tell she's spent.

"Shit, Ana", I hiss through my teeth, and I then I come gloriously inside her, stilling until I'm the same. I look at Ana to check that she's okay. Her eyes are closed and she's panting hard.

"How was that?", I ask.

"That was really nice", she smirks. _Good._

"We aim to please."

"I can see that", she smiles and I smile as well. I slowly slide out of her and take off the condom before tossing it in the wastebasket. _God, I hate those things._ I take Ana's wrists and quickly untie her from the sash. Once I do, I gently rub them together and she looks down to avoid my gaze.

"What's wrong?", I ask concerned.

"I'm really glad you're back", she shyly smiles and I feel relief.

"Me too", I confess because I know it's true. I kiss her tenderly and she kisses me back, intertwining her tongue with my own. _God, I've missed this woman._

Just then, my phone starts ringing and I release Ana and head for the living room. I pick up my phone from my jacket and check the caller ID; it's Welch.

"Welch?"

"Mr. Grey, you better come down to the office. There's been an incident."

"What kind of incident?"

"Someone just stole all your personal files and left something for you on your desk."

"What? When was this?"

"I'm not sure but no one's been here since you left."

"What's wrong?", Ana inquires, noticing the expression on my face.

"I have to go. I'll see you tonight."

"Can I come with you?" This catches me by surprise but as I look at her, I find it impossible to say no.

"Fine. Be ready in ten minutes", I command and leap out of bed, having a very clear idea of who's to blame.


	6. Chapter Five

**"** **But how did she get in?", Christian snarls once Welch has informed him of some news.**

"I'm sorry, Mr. Grey, but the company was on lockdown once the news broke out", Welch explains, unbiased by Christian's disdain.

"How the fuck could you let this happen?"

"We received word from Taylor that you called for us to evacuate. Said it was urgent."

"What? He never told me that."

"Sir, if I may, I think someone is out to sabotage you. This sort of thing never happens, not even on my watch."

"Go find out if the CCTV footage shows any signs of movements after hours. I want a report in an hour."

"Yes, sir", Welch declares before heading off to talk with security.

"Any idea who could've done this?", I ask timidly.

"Ana, it's none of your concern", he says with a cold stare in his eyes, forcing me to stop. I'm about to protest when Taylor interrupts me before I can.

"Sir, this note was left on your desk, along with a red blindfold and an older copy of your contract."

"Any idea who left it?"

"No sir, but we're checking for prints now. I think you should read this", he states as he hands Christian a piece of paper. Christian's brow furrows as he reads the paper, showing a blend of anger and confusion on his face.

"What is it?", I ask.

"It's nothing."

"Christian…"

"I'll tell you later", he states, giving me a pointed look. I wisely hold my tongue but my curiosity is still piqued.

"Christian!", someone calls from behind and we turn around to see Mia, skipping excitedly in our direction. She stops briefly and looks at me as if she can't believe that I'm here with Christian.

"Ana? Oh my God!", she exclaims just before pulling me into a big bear-hug, catching me by surprise. Yep. That's Mia alright.

"Hi, Mia", I respond sweetly.

"I wasn't expecting to see you here. Oh my gosh, are you back together? That's so cool! Christian was a mess when you left." I blush in response. If only she knew _why_ I left.

"Mia, nice to see you", Christian interjects, showing no emotion at all. Mia pulls him into another hug and after a beat, he hugs her back.

"To what do I owe this unexpected visit?", he enquires.

"Ugh, do I need to remind you again? We barely see you and Mom wanted me to come and ask you something."

"Which is?"

"If you would please come to the charity ball tonight? You haven't been there in three years."

"I've been busy."

"Oh, you're always busy. Can't you take a night off? My friends have missed seeing you and keep asking where you are."

"Mia, I don't have the time. I'm far too busy for an event."

"But what about Ana? Wouldn't she like to come?", Mia asks as she directs her attention to me.

"Um, I've never been to ball", I confess.

"Oh, you'll love it! There's dancing, fireworks, music. It's gonna be fun."

"We'll see. Thanks for dropping by but I have some work to attend to", Christian responds, not-too-subtly nudging her to the door.

"Come on, at least think about it? I've missed you", she pleads with big, wide eyes and a pouty expression on her face. I can't help my chuckle at her reaction. She hasn't changed a bit.

"I'll think about it", Christian replies. Mia squeals and hugs him again, before turning to me and squeezing me just as hard. She then turns on her heel and skips to the exit.

"Why didn't you want to go?", I inquire once Mia is out of earshot.

"I don't do charity events", he says coldly, indicating that he's done with the conversation.

"Okay", I simply say and go to reach for him. He freezes. I sigh as he does.

"I'm gonna need a road-map", I say quietly and he smiles shyly in response.

"I know", he replies.

"Are you ever gonna talk to me without holding anything back?"

"Ana, I'm still trying to understand all of this."

"Why is it so hard for you?"

"Because I'm fifty shades of fucked up, that's why." _Oh yes, I remember._

"Aren't you willing to try?", I inquire.

"Of course I am."

"Then why can't you just let me in?"

"Ana…"

"Tell me. Why is this event so important to you?"

"It's none of your concern."

"It is if we're going to make this work."

"I don't need your pity, and I don't want to discuss this here."

"Why not?"

"It's not appropriate."

"Christian, someone is obviously trying to get in touch with you while you're with me. How does that not concern your work?"

"Fair point well made, Miss Steele", he smirks.

"Don't look at me like that. Won't you please talk to me?"

"It's nothing, she's in the past."

" _She?_ Mrs. Robinson?"

"No, of course not. Elena would never do a thing like this."

"Then who?"

"Let's discuss this back at my place."

"Why can't you just tell me here?"

"Ana, enough", he says more forcefully and I'm inclined to roll my eyes at him. I cross my arms over my body to affirm my place.

"Okay, you can either walk or I'll carry you." _What?_ Is he being serious right now?

"You wouldn't do that", I remark in disbelief.

"No, it's your choice", he implies and I'm left gaping at his remark. _Carry me?_ Like how he did at his parent's place? Before I can respond, he bends down and lifts me, swiftly swinging me over his shoulder and makes his way out.

"Christian, put me down!", I order but he ignores me. His employees stare at us as he leads me to the elevator and calls it down. _Jeez, this is so embarrassing._

"Alright, fine, I'll walk", I shout and Christian immediately sets me down. I straighten my posture and enter the elevator once it arrives.

 **Back at Christian's penthouse,** I follow Christian to the great room where we're instantly greeted by Gail, his housekeeper.

"Hello, Mr. Grey. Miss Steele", she addresses as she looks in my direction.

"Hi, Gail", I say as sweetly as I can.

"Is there anything I can get for you?", she asks. I shake my head just as Christian heads for his office. I quickly follow after him and see that's unlocking a file cabinet near where his desk sits. He pulls out a file and motions for me to sit down. I comply immediately. He shrugs out of his jacket and hands me the papers before taking a seat as well. I can see the anxiety etched on his face and I don't know if it's at me or something else. I'm almost scared to ask but wisely hold my tongue.

"Leila. Her name is Leila Williams. She was my Submissive until two years ago and a former employee", he begins. _Holy shit, he's talking._

"She wanted more with me but I wasn't in the market for that in the past, so I ended our relationship", he continues. "She didn't react well to it and things didn't go well from there."

"What do you mean?" He takes a deep breath before continuing.

"She became desperate and kept harassing my staff in order to see me again. I tried ignoring her but she kept coming back, and I just recently received an e-mail from her asking to make amends. I informed Welch about it and fortunately, that's the only contact she's made to me directly since we parted ways. I haven't seen her since we broke up."

"What does she want now?", I ask. He looks uncertain as I do.

"Tell me", I persuade.

"When you and I were in Georgia together, she showed up here and tried to slit her wrists in front of Mrs. Jones."

"Oh my God."

"That was why I needed to come home as soon as possible after leaving you at SIP. By the time I arrived, she disappeared and my people have been trying to find her", he states and I can hardly believe what I'm hearing. _An ex-sub wants him back?_ Why am I just now hearing about this?

"Is that all?", I enquire, surprised that I want to know more.

"She also started a fire at WSU in order to get my attention. Fortunately, nobody was hurt."

"Why there?"

"She knew you were my new employee, so she felt it natural to go after you as well."

"Is she only after me?"  
"No. She stole some personal files on my whole family in the hopes that she could contact them and get back to me, possibly informing them of what we've done. As of now, we have no idea where she is."

" _We?_ Is that who put this together?", I ask, indicating the unopened file on the desk. Just then, a thought enters my mind.

"Did you have this before or after she started working for you?" For a moment, I assume he's not going to answer.

"Before", he says eventually.

"Is there one on me?", I ask out of curiosity and again, he looks uncertain. He avoids my gaze before standing to his feet and searching through the cabinet again. After a few moments, he pulls out another file and hands it to me. I take it and quickly scan the contents. Inside are pictures of me, information on my former job at Clayton's, relationship status etc. Why the hell does he have this? I notice one line about my work schedule and decide that it's enough. I close the folder and throw it on the desk.

"I guess you are a stalker after all", I say dryly.

"Those are only on my employees", he replies.

"And yet this was before I applied to your company. You checking up on me now?"

"I've only done it for any possible submissive. I wasn't expecting us to come this far."

"Hmm, nice. Jesus…"

"Ana, I had no idea what this would become. I didn't know you'd be different, and I'm still surprised that you are."

"Is that why you're treating me like every other woman in your life, including your mom because I'm _so_ different?"

"That's different in this situation."

"How? How is it different? You still try to control me and won't allow me to speak for myself. Even your own sister is kept at a distance and every other member in your family. You've been like that since day one, even before I considered signing your contract and honestly, I'm glad that I didn't. This isn't a relationship, Christian, it's ownership. How am I supposed to feel special in this case when you keep me in the dark and won't let me touch you? This is exactly what kept us apart the first time and now I don't know what to do. I'm trying to understand you. And I want nothing more than to get closer to you in every way that I can. But this? What am I supposed to make of it? How am I supposed to know that I'm special in your life?"

 _Wow. Big speech, Ana, but hopefully he gets the picture._

I look at him and he's speechless, unable to find something to say. I'm about to protest but just before I can, he stands up and walks over to me, determination on his face.

"Come to my bedroom", he simply states and I'm left gaping once again.

"Sex is not gonna fix this right now, are you insane?"

"Ana…please", he pleads and holds out his hand for mine. After a beat, I reluctantly accept it. He leads me out me out of his office and I follow him to his room. He closes the door and leaves me briefly to retrieve something from his chest drawers. He walks back to me holding a tube of lipstick in his hand. My brow furrows at the sight.

"You wanted a road-map?", he asks and I watch in amazement as he starts to unbutton his shirt and slowly slides it off. I gaze down at his scars and then into his eyes. He's torn, really torn, and I can't comprehend what he wants. Before I can say anything, he uncaps and places the tube of lipstick in my hand and directs it to his shoulder.

"Start here", he states and slowly guides my hand down. Holy shit, he's really doing this right now. He continues to guide my hand down his chest to his stomach, all the while keeping his eyes closed and breathing shakily as the lipstick glides across his stomach and up again on the other side. He shudders as I near his neck and that's when he releases me to continue my trail. Once I reach his neck, I guide the lipstick just under it, watching in heartbreak at his shuddering response. Finally, I pull the tube away and he opens his eyes to look in mine.

"Those are my boundaries. Now I'm all yours", he says quietly and I struggle to keep the tears at bay. _Oh Fifty…_

"You don't have to do this", I whisper.

"Yes I do. If it makes you happy, then it's a start", he states and I can tell that he means it. Fighting the urge to cry, I quickly take his head in my hands and kiss him deeply, pouring my love into the kiss. He quickly responds and glides his tongue past my lips, instantly finding my own. I deepen the kiss and soon, his hands travel down my body and over my backside and before I know it, he pushes me closer to his body, causing me to gasp. I feel his erection under his jeans and can't help my moan in response. All too soon, he pulls away and we're both breathing heavily at the departure.

"Take me. I want you to take control", he remarks and my brow furrows again.

"I want you to be in charge", he explains. "I'm all yours and only yours."

"Christian, I don't…"

"Please. I want to show you that I want to make this work." One look in his eyes and I know that he means it. _Oh Fifty, what are you doing to me?_ Before I can reject, I kiss him once more and lose myself in the man I love.


	7. Chapter Six

**I wake with a** start and feel momentarily disoriented. _Oh, Christian's bedroom. I'm in Christian's bedroom._ For some reason, the thought makes me smile. I look to the side and see that Christian is nowhere to be found. I notice that I'm completely covered with the duvet and feel incredibly cold since he's not here with me.

 _I'll admit it, I miss him._

 _For good reason. He let you touch him,_ my subconscious remarks and the thought makes me smile even more.

 _Yeah._ I then wonder what this will mean from now on. He still won't let me touch him completely and more than anything, I wish I knew why. Still, it's a start, and I wonder idly if it's too much for him. The last thing I want is making him uncomfortable, but at the same time I like being able to touch him. Hopefully someday he can tell me the truth.

 _One can hope,_ my subconscious retorts and I find myself agreeing.

Making up my mind, I decide to go and search for Christian and climb out of bed. I notice my clothes piled neatly on a nearby chair, and I instantly know who the culprit is. Grabbing my clothes, I dress quickly, fix my hair, and reach for a hair tie in my back pocket. Pulling my hair into a ponytail, I leave Christian's room and start to look for him. I check the kitchen, and for a brief moment wonder if I should check the Red Room.

 _Are you crazy? One thing at a time,_ my subconscious interjects but at the same time, I wonder if we will go there again. I blush at the thought and continue my search.

As I head for his office, I notice his office door opened slightly and quietly head in its direction. I knock gently before entering and sure enough, Christian's sitting at his desk staring intently at a file on his desk. He looks up and smiles when he sees me, looking much calmer than he did a few moments ago.

"Hi", I say softly.

"Hi. Sleep well?"

"I did. You?"

"Indefinitely", he smirks and I blush in response. _How does he do that?_

"What are you doing?", I ask as he motions for me to enter.

"Checking those files stolen from my office", he states as he pulls me into his lap and kisses my hair.

"Anything serious?"

"Just background on my family. Fortunately, Leila hasn't contacted them yet."

"How do you know?"

"Because she's blocked. She can't contact anyone, including you."

"Blocked? When did this happen?" As I ask this, he looks uncomfortable.

"Christian", I press gently.

"She showed up at my penthouse a few weeks ago. She was trying to see me in person."

"Did she?"

"I wasn't here, so no. Gail was but before she could intervene, Leila took off. We haven't seen her since."

"Has she ever acted like this before?"

"I'll admit she was persistent, but none of my submissives tried to keep in-touch with me after we broke up. They all moved on."

"So you haven't seen them since?"

"No. As far as I know, they've moved on." He smiles to reassure me and I suddenly feel shy again.

"Why is that ball so important to your family?", I ask carefully and his brow furrows at my comment.

"Always so eager for information, Miss Steele."

"Knowing you, yes I am", I say as I arch an eyebrow at him. He chuckles and kisses me softly.

"My parents started it after they adopted me. It's for kids whose parents are addicted to drugs." _Oh?_

"Then why don't you want to go?"

"I don't need their pity. It was a long time ago."

"I don't think it's pity, Christian."

"Trust me, it is", he says softly and for a moment I wonder what he's thinking. After a while, he takes a deep breath.

"Do you really wanna go?" _What?_

"We don't have to, Christian. I wouldn't be a good date."

"I know, but I'd still like you to come", he smirks.

"Why?"

"You really wanna know?"

"Indefinitely, Mr. Grey", I joke and he laughs in response.

"I've never brought a date to the ball." _Oh. This is news._

"Why?"

"I was waiting for you", he grins, giving me his boyish look again.

"I don't have a dress for that", I state quietly.

"I'm sure we can work something out", he states and gives me oh-so-secret smile. Before I can press him on it further, there's a knock at the door.

"Come in", Christian calls and Taylor enters, looking a little taken aback. _Has he never seen a girl in Christian's lap?_

"Sir, Franco's here to see you", he states professionally and looks embarrassed to be caught by the sight. _Franco?_

"Send him up to Ana's room", Christian orders.

"Yes, sir", Taylor replies and quickly leaves the room.

"He's here", Christian smiles as if it's a big secret.

"Who's here?", I ask.

"Someone to do your hair. Figured you might want to get it styled for tonight."

"You were going to tell me this, when?"

"I'm telling you now", he smirks.

"You're impossible, Mr. Grey", I say and am that close to rolling my eyes at him.

"Likewise, Miss Steele. Do you want to go?"

"Okay. When is it?"

"Seven."

"I'll try to be ready by then", I joke and look down as a thought enters my mind.

"What is it?", Christians asks concerned.

"Are we ever gonna visit the Red Room, again?", I whisper and he looks surprised by my question.

"Do you want to?"

"I was just curious, is all", I confess.

"Ana, I'm not ready to take you in there again. Last time I did, you left me."

"That was different."

"Not for me. I still think we should take things slow."

"I am. I was just curious is all", I blush and avoid his gaze. _Will I ever be comfortable with this man?_ He's already taken my virginity for God's sake.

"Do you want to?", Christian asks amused.

"Maybe someday."

"Is that so?", he smirks and gives me that look. _Oh._

"Wait here", he orders and gently lifts me off his lap before exiting his office. A few minutes later, he re-enters holding something small and shiny in his hand.

"You sure about this?", he inquires softly.

"Yes", I whisper. _What has he got planned?_ Suddenly, my inner goddess is excited.

"Good", he says before holding up a pair of silver balls. _Holy cow._

"Remember these?"

"Yes", I reply, breathless.

"Maybe tonight can be more stimulating", he grins with a carnal look in his eyes. _Wait, he wants me wear those? Tonight?_

"Curious?", he asks and for a moment I wonder what he means. I nod slowly and his grin returns.

"Good. Open your mouth", he commands gently and I open my mouth as wide as I can. He slides the balls in my mouth and asks me to suck gently. I do as I'm told as the metallic taste invades my mouth. Why is this so erotic?

"Enough", Christian interjects and I open my mouth so he can pull them out. He then motions for me to remove my jeans and I quickly do as I'm told.

"Now bend over. On the desk", he demands, pointing his chin at the desk. I comply and he looks pleased as I do. He moves my panties to the side and slowly circles his fingers on my clitoris.

"Always so ready, Miss Steele", he states, obviously pleased. He then inserts a finger and I struggle to keep still.

"Just tell me when to stop", he says.

"Please don't", I whimper before he twists his finger, stretching me more.

"Okay. Hold still", he commands and all-too-soon, releases his finger. Before I know it, he inserts one of the balls and I gasp at the feel. He holds me gently as he pushes in the other. _Holy shit._ Once he's finished, he kisses my behind and motions for me to stand. The feel of the balls hang deliciously in my core, and I turn around to see Christian with a look of satisfaction on his face.

"How does it feel?"

"Good, _sir_ ", I say, emphasizing the word and biting my lower lip.

"Let's take it slow, Miss Steele", he warns but I can tell he's amused.

"Go upstairs. I'll meet with you if you want." _What? Is he being serious?_

"You're gonna watch me getting my hair cut?" Suddenly, I feel exposed.

"Do you not want me to?"

"I think I can handle it, Mr. Grey."

"As you should. Fine. Come see me when you're done", he remarks before leaning down and kissing me briefly. _Oh my…_

"Laters, baby", he smiles and leaves me standing alone in his study. _Oh, Fifty._ I roll my eyes once he's gone and then gasp as the balls shift in place. _Oh, bring it on._

 **A few minutes** go by and I'm finishing with Franco. We decided on a haircut and classy bun and he looks generally pleased with his work. I like him already.

"Bellissima!", he exclaims and it makes me smile. He removes the robe from my body and helps me stand to my feet.

"You call me whenever you need a haircut", he smiles kindly at me.

"Okay. Will do", I respond shyly. Before I know it, he pulls me closer and kisses both of my cheeks. He then gathers his equipment and leaves the room.

"Ciao, bella!", he calls out and I check my reflection in the mirror. Holy cow. He did all that in ten minutes. Suddenly, I'm impressed. After one final check, I head out to go find Christian. I walk past the Red Room and Christian's words start to circle my head.

 _"_ _Ana, I'm not ready to take you in there again. Last time I did, you left me."_

Deep down, I know it's true but at the same time, I wouldn't mind going in there again.

 _Take it slow, Ana. He said he's not ready,_ my subconscious interjects and I find myself agreeing.

 _In time. Maybe._

Shaking my head at the thought, I head downstairs and find Christian standing in the great room wearing a tuxedo. _Holy cow._

"Miss Steele", he says before heading in my direction.

"Mr. Grey", I smile sweetly.

"I like this", he says amused.

"Good."

"Come. I want to show you something", he says as he holds out his hand for mine. I accept it and he leads me back upstairs. I follow him to a room in the hallway and watch as he takes out a key and unlocks the door. He flicks on a switch and soon the room is flooded with light.

"A closet?', I ask, looking at rows and rows of clothes hanging from one end of the wall to the next.

"Your closet", he shrugs, looking concerned.

"When did you do this?"

"It was after I invited you to my penthouse for the first time. I wanted you to see it if you agreed to be my submissive."

"So, all these are for me?" I can hardly believe it.

"Only if you accept them", he explains and suddenly looks ashamed.

"What's wrong?"

"I'm just worried if it's too much", he says and my heart tugs at the sight. I reach up, careful of where I touch, and pull him down to me and kiss him gently. He returns the kiss and soon, his tongue glides past my lips and twists with my own. I moan in response and once I pull away, I'm breathless.

"Thank you."

"You like it?"

"Yes", I smile sweetly. He looks relieved as I do.

"Just give me a minute to get ready."

"As you wish, Miss Steele", he remarks and leans down to kiss me again. He turns on his heel and heads back downstairs. I want to roll my eyes but for some reason, I can't. _Will I ever get used to this?_ Deep down, I hope I will. Taking a deep breath, I head into the closet and look at all the clothes. Most of them still have tags on them and look like they cost a fortune. Out of curiosity, I check one of the tags and my mouth drops. _$10,000?_ How rich is he? Rolling my eyes, knowing full well he can't see me, I check the dresses and soon decide on a silver satin, pleased as I do. I find a pair of matching shoes and on instinct, check the drawers to see if I can find any jewelry. Sure enough, I find some necklaces, earrings, bracelets and rings in a desk on the side. I decide on some long diamonds and proceed in getting dressed. As I pull on the dress, I notice a small box on a nearby chair and check to see what it is. I open it to find a silver mask inside, perfectly matching my dress.

 _We're going to a masquerade ball?_


	8. Chapter Seven

**We're riding in** silence and a million different thoughts are flooding my mind. _A ball._ We're actually going to a masquerade ball. Once again, Christian manages to keep something from me, so it doesn't surprise that he would do it for this. The thought makes me chuckle. _Oh Fifty, what am I going to do with you?_

"What is it?", Christian asks, looking slightly amused.

"You. You're so difficult, you know."

"Difficult?", he smirks. "How so?"

"When were you going to tell me that we're going to a masked ball?"

"I didn't think it was relevant." I scoff at his comment and roll my eyes as I gaze out the window. Yeah, 'difficult' might be a good term for now.

"Did you just roll your eyes at me?", he whispers, causing me to look at him.

"Maybe. But there's nothing you can do about it", I challenge, raising a brow to emphasize my point.

"We'll see about that", he responds quietly, giving me _that_ look. _Oh..._

"We're here, sir", Taylor announces, breaking the spell between me and Christian.

"You ready?", Christian asks.

"Mm-hmm", I answer with a reassuring smile, and Taylor pulls up outside a house I'm vaguely familiar with; Christian's parent's. Why is it being held here?

"What's wrong?", Christian asks concerned.

"I just...I just didn't know it was going to be here."

"My parents insisted. They're looking forward to seeing you again."

"Do they know we broke up?"

"Sort of. I hadn't told them how long it had been. I'm sure Mia kept them up-to-date."

"Do you not want me to be here?" As I ask this, Christian looks at me as if I've grown three heads.

"I've never brought a girl here, so you leaving is the last thing I want." My eyes widen at his revelation, and then I realize it's another first to add to the list. Christian brings my hand to his lips and kisses each of my knuckles in-turn. I smile to reassure him just as Taylor comes to open my door.

"After you", Christian orders and I roll my eyes again, knowing full well he can't see me when I do.

"I know what you're doing. Keep it up, and I will take you across my knee", Christian says once we exit and I gasp in response. _Holy shit, he's being serious. Bring it on, Mr. Grey._

"I'll be back around midnight, Mr. Grey", Taylor addresses, once again breaking the spell between us. I feel sorry for him. It must not be easy to be exposed to so much...privacy. I really do hope Christian pays him well.

"Thank you. I'll let you know if we need anything else."

"Very good, sir. Have a good night", he says before directing his attention towards me.

"Thanks, Taylor", I smile. He enters the driver's seat of his car and Christian holds out his arm for mine.

"Come." I slip my arm through his and follow him into the foyer. My jaw drops at the sight; chandeliers; a live band; about three-hundred people and enough tables for about four hundred. _Holy cow..._

"Like what you see?", Christian asks when a young man offers to take our coats. I give my shawl to the man and watch as Christian hands him his coat.

"It's beautiful, Christian", I say, breathless.

"Just like you", Christian replies with a sense of pride on his face. I blush and stare down at the floor. _How can he do that with just three words?_

"Christian!", someone calls and we both look to see Mia running towards us, wearing a blue dress and matching mask.

"Mia", Christian answers coolly. Mia throws her arms around his neck and hugs him tightly, making him feel embarrassed as a result. Reluctantly, he hugs her back.

"Thank God you got here. My friends keep asking about where you've been."

"I've been busy, Mia. They should know that by now."

"You're always too busy. When are you gonna have some fun?"

"I have enough." Mia rolls her eyes and then turns in my direction.

"Ana, so good to see you", she exclaims and before I can respond, she hugs me hard, catching me off-guard.

"Hi, Mia", I say once I recover.

"Can you believe this shindig? I swear we try to overdo it every year."

"It looks amazing", I reply.

"Least there's a band. Gotta get the party started somehow", she huffs and I laugh at the sight.

"Ana", I hear someone behind me say and turn around to see Grace, wearing a formfitting emerald dress and a matching mask that she holds in her hand.

"Hi, Grace", I respond warmly. Fortunately, she pulls me in for a gentle hug and gives me a chance to properly react.

"It's so good to see you, darling. I wasn't expecting Christian to bring a date."

"It was last minute but I figured I'd come for support."

"Thank you, Ana. We really appreciate it", she smiles kindly before giving Christian a motherly hug.

"It's good to see you too, sweetheart. We haven't seen you since you brought Ana home for dinner."

"Work's been busy. I haven't had any free time available."

"Well, hopefully now that Ana's back in your life, you can actually spend some more time with your family."

"We'll see."

"Have you shown Ana to her seat yet?"

"We just got here but I was going to do just that."

"Well, you'd better hurry. The auction will be starting soon. You sent that check to your father, right?"

"Last night. I hope it's enough."

"Christian, everything you give is enough. I'll see you later. Tell Gretchen if you need anything, okay?"

"Will do mother. We'll see you around", he smiles coldly before taking my arm and leading me down the hall. I wave back to Grace and Mia and do my best to keep up in these heels.

"Are you ever gonna treat them like your family?", I ask once we're out of earshot.

"I treat them enough. It's been hard the past few years."

"Why?"

"Nothing you need to worry about. Do you want some champagne?", he inquires once we reach our table.

"Yes, please", I smile sweetly as he pulls out my chair for me and allows me to take a seat.

"I'll be right back", he says before heading off. I take a minute to admire my surroundings and quite honestly, I don't know why Christian didn't want to come. It's obvious he doesn't see his family too often, and I wonder idly why he chooses to do so. Still, another feeling that stings me is being in this place again. The last time I was here, Christian carried me over his shoulder because he was angry that I didn't tell him about Georgia. Also, this is where I met _her_ for the first time. I shudder at the memory. I hope I never have to see that woman again.

"Anastasia?", I hear a woman ask and turn around to see Elena sitting directly behind me. My heart stops beating when I see her sitting across from me, wearing a black and white ball gown and a matching mask lying on the table. She's still exactly how I remember her, but in all honesty she's the last person I want to see.

"What are you doing here?", I ask sterner than I intend.

"Listen, I know we got off on the wrong foot last time we talked, but I just wanted you to know that I hold no ill will."

"That's good to know", I say impassively before turning in my seat to avoid her gaze. I listen as she stands from her chair and sits straight in front of me at mine and Christian's table.

"Ana, I need to tell you something important."

"I have no interest in talking with you."

"I know how you feel about me, but I swear to you that I'm not the enemy here." I can't help my scoff. _Is she serious right now?_

"I think anyone with common sense would find that untrue."

"Listen, I didn't come here to argue and you have every right to be upset with me, but I need to warn you that this isn't sufficient."

"What are you talking about?"

"I don't know if Christian told you yet, but there's some certain needs he has that I'm not sure you can entirely fulfill."

"What kind of needs?"

"Ana, he's in pain. The man you think you know isn't as clean as you want him to be. And I'm just worried that he'll hurt you if things go any further."

"Why would you say that? We just got back together and it's none of your business what we do behind doors."

"It's not that. Did you not tell you how broken he was when you left? He came to me the night after you left, and I can tell that he was hurting inside."

"What?"

"He's a good man, Ana. He really is. But he's not the man for you and I'm almost positive you're not the woman for him."

"How would you know? You took advantage of him and I can't forgive you for that."

"All I did was help him and I'm still helping him now. It might be fine for right now, but I can guarantee that this isn't going to last. Just give it some time and you'll see what I mean."

"Elena, knowing you, I'm sure you've never known what it's like to be in love. I don't need you tell me what to do and if things don't work out, I'm sure you'll have something to do with it. Me and Christian are fine and I don't need a bitch like you to tell me I'm wrong." _Holy cow, did I just say that out loud?_ But with the look she's giving me right now, I feel a little victory. Disgruntled, Elena stands and grabs her mask before firmly grabbing my arm and squeezing tight.

"I tried to be nice to you, but you overplayed my hand. Don't say I didn't warn you. Nothing ever lasts and I'll be there when you learn that."

"Elena", someone yells and I look to see Christian with eyes blazing and a look of determination on his face. All too soon, he grabs Elena's hand and removes it from my arm.

"Don't fucking touch her", he growls. Elena yanks her arm away and looks momentarily afraid right now.

"Be careful with her, Christian. She'll never be the right one for you."

"Fuck off, Elena. And leave us the hell alone." The look on his face tells me he means it, and immediately Elena backs off and walks away.

"Are you okay?", Christian asks more gently and I look away because I can't bear to look at him.

"Talk to me, Ana. What did she tell you?" I swallow before responding.

"Nothing I didn't already know", I say quietly and I feel Christian take my hand and give it a gentle squeeze.

"I'm sorry about that. I wasn't expecting her to come."

"Just like the last time?"

"Ana, that was different."

"How?"

"Because she said she couldn't make it here tonight."

"I'm sure she couldn't", I say as I turn my gaze away and glance at the ceiling.

"Are you rolling your eyes at me again?"

"No", I lie.

"Come. I think you need that spanking sooner than I thought." He stands and holds out his hand for me, and I suddenly feel my heart beating in my chest. After a beat, I accept his hand and he pulls me to my feet.

"Leave the mask on", he whispers before leading me to a staircase and heading upstairs. We walk down the hall to a bedroom and I watch as Christian pulls out a key and unlocks the door. I smirk once he opens the door.

"What is it?"

"Nothing", I say as I deliberately bite my lower lip.

"We'll see, Miss Steele", he smirks and leads me inside before closing the door. I watch mesmerized as he removes her suit jacket and lays it carefully on a nearby chair. He then undoes his bowtie and walks over to me with a carnal look in his eyes.

"Turn around", he orders and I do as I'm told. I feel him hold my wrists and deftly ties a knot to hold them in place. He slowly slides down my zipper and helps me step out of my dress. I glance over my shoulder as he places my dress neatly on his jacket, and looks somewhat pleased when he turns back. My breath hitches but once he returns, he turns me around sharply and kisses me hard. I struggle to keep up and all too soon he pulls away.

"Is this what you want?", he asks, breathless.

"Yes. But I want you to spank me", I respond boldly.

"With pleasure, Miss Steele. Walk over to the bed", he commands, pointing his chin to emphasize his point. I quickly do as I'm told and stand in place waiting for demands. He sits on the side of the bed and motions for me to come closer. I do, and he takes my arm and pulls me down. I squeal in surprise and he holds me firmly on his lap.

"If it gets too much, you have to tell me to stop, understood?"

"Yes."

"Yes what?"

"Yes, Sir", I reply, biting my lower lip again. Christian looks pleased with my answer and starts caressing me. I gasp as he kneads my backside and before I can respond, his hand disappears and slaps me hard across my silver balls shoot up inside me, leaving a delicious sting as they do.

"Ah", I moan.

"You okay?"

"Yeah." He then slaps me again, slightly harder this time. He takes turns on each cheek, gently rubbing where he hit and striking me again. _Oh, I've missed this..._

"I think you're done", he says panting and carefully lifts me off his lap, before tossing me on the bed. I watch paralyzed as he starts to undo his suit pants and slides them and his boxers down to the floor.

"You want me to take my shirt off?", he asks. It takes me a moment to process what he's said.

"You can say yes", he says softly but the look in his eyes tells me he's unsure.

"Please. I won't go outside the lines", I tell him sweetly and he smiles shyly before removing his shirt. The lipstick marks are completely untouched and I can hardly believe what he's letting me do.

"Stay still", he orders and I arch my back as he removes the silver balls slowly in turn. He places them beside me on the bed and quickly fills me, causing me to gasp. Once he adjusts, he starts rocking his hips and slowly goes faster and faster, forcing me to fight to keep quiet.

"Nobody will hear us. Don't be afraid to come." His words are my undoing and I come gloriously, calling out his name.

"Fuck, Ana", he grunts and his body stills as he finds his release and collapses on me breathing hard.

"Don't ever leave me."

"I never will, Christian", I confess because I know it's the truth. I feel him smile against my skin and lifts himself so that he's hovering over me. He leans down and kisses me softly and I wrap my arms around his neck, holding him close. After a few minutes, he pulls out and I wince at the all-too-conversant feeling. He unties my wrists and rubs them gently to bring them back to life.

"The auction will be starting soon. They'll be missing us."

"Can I meet you downstairs?"

"Yeah, of course. Meet me at our table and I'll give you a dance."

"Okay. I love you."

"I love you, too." He kisses me again and I watch amused as he climbs off the bed and slips on his boxers.

"Enjoying the view?"

"Always."

"Good." He grabs his mask and puts it on before opening the door and closing it behind him. I sit up on the bed and walk over to a mirror above a chest to make sure my hair doesn't show signs of being fucked. I look okay so I gather my dress and start to slip it on. As I zip up the back, I notice a photo on the mirror and feel as if I've seen it before. As I look at it closer, I realize who it is. _His mother._ It's the same picture as the one Elena gave me during our first encounter. My hearts tightens and I can only imagine what his childhood was like. His mother looks so sad and I silently pray that he didn't feel the same when she was alive. I touch the photo and try to hold back my tears. Gathering my equilibrium, I give myself one final check and head down the stairs.

 **Once the auction** is over, I'm dancing with Christian on the dance floor and watch him lovingly as he twirls me around. He spins me again and I can't hide my giggle when he spins me back in his embrace.

"Is this more?", he beams.

"So much more", I laugh and lean up to kiss him on the lips. His shy, boyish look returns and it warms my heart. I love this man, and I always will.

"Mr. Grey, we have a situation", Taylor announces and I'm momentarily taken aback by his appearance. _When did he get in here?_

"What is it?"

"It's at your apartment, regarding Miss Steele."

"Me?", I ask out of curiosity.

"It's not too serious, Miss Steele. I just have to take Mr. Grey to investigate."

"Can I come?"

"I'm not sure that's a good idea."

"I want to." I look at Christian for permission and he sighs before nodding his head.

"Alright. We'd better hurry then. I'm afraid it can't wait", Taylor says and we start to head out.

 **We follow Taylor** outside after saying our goodbyes and he holds open the door for me and Christian to enter. Christian lets me slide in first and once he slides in next to me, Taylor shuts the door and climbs in himself.

"What's wrong?", I ask once we pull out.

"I'm not sure. Maybe you should stay."

"If it's about me, then I'm going whether you want me to or not." Christian opens his mouth to speak but closes it before he can say anything. We ride in silence and I stare out the window, watching the lights alter every time we pass.

 **We pull up** inside the parking garage at Christian's penthouse and my anxiety continues blooming in my chest. What could be so important that it couldn't wait?

"Sir", Taylor directs and Christian opens the door before climbing out.

"Stay here", he demands and quickly closes the door before following Taylor. I watch helplessly as they stand by something in the distance and before I can stop myself, I open the door and head in their direction. Once I get closer, my breath catches in my throat. There's a red car completely covered in paint, with _FUCK YOU_ written straight on the hood.

 _Holy shit, that's my car. What happened to my car?_


	9. Chapter Eight

**Christian's POV**

 **"** **Miss Steele, please don't look",** Taylor addresses Ana as she approaches. She gapes at the car and I step in to make sure she's alright.

"Who did this?", she asks, horrified.

"I think it might be Leila", I respond simply.

"What? How could she have done this?"

"I don't know. She shouldn't have been able to get in the garage", I reply then turn my attention to Taylor.

"I'm taking Ana to my boat. Don't call me unless it's safe."

"Yes, sir. I'll check the CCTV and see if I can spot Miss Williams."

"Good", I nod and gently lead Ana back to the car. I open her door for her to enter but she stands motionless.

"Ana, get in the car", I order as calmly as I can.

"Did the others have them?", she asks and for a moment I wonder what she's talking about.

"Your Submissives. Did they all have an Audi?" I let out a deep sigh and run my hair through my hair.

"Yes. They were called the Submissive Special", I respond coolly and Ana looks visibly hurt as I do. _Shit. How do I explain this to her?_

"Get in the car and I'll explain on the way", I persuade gently and after a beat, she does as she's told. Fighting to contain my temper, I close her door and walk around the car before entering myself. I motion for Ana to put on her seatbelt and ease the car in reverse.

"Spill the beans, Grey. Why didn't you tell me about this?", she questions once we leave the garage. Sighing heavily, I put her out of her misery.

"Whenever my Submissives behaved, I gave them a new car as a reward. I told you that if you please me, that I'll reward you. I gave Leila one when we started out so she must've recognized yours."

"So it wasn't a gift?"

"What do you mean?"

"My graduation. It wasn't a genuine gift?" I shrug because I can't think of what to say. I hear Ana scoff in response.

"Ana", I say gently as I reach for her hand. "I was trying to give you something special for your graduation, and I was hoping that you would accept it because of that deathtrap you called a car."

"But I wasn't your Submissive then." _Always on point._

"I know. But I was trying to make your day more memorable and figured that was the best solution. At least at that time I was considered your boyfriend", I smirk, hoping to lighten the mood.

"But what about me being different? Why get me what all the other women had?" _Shit._

"I was hoping you would be my Submissive. I wasn't expecting this to happen, though."

"Christian, this is exactly what I mean. You say I'm different but you still treat me the same. How am I supposed to feel after all of this? I'm trying to understand you, I really am, but you always leave me in the dark when it comes to this, so how am I supposed to trust you?"

"Ana, you can always trust me. I'm still trying to understand this myself. You're the first real relationship I've ever had." _And it's better than I'd imagined._

"But what about Mrs. Robinson? Would you do this for her?" _What?_

"Ana, that's different. I was Elena's Submissive but I didn't have to elaborate that with gifts to her. She never accepted it."

"Then why me? I don't care about your money. I just want you." Her words catch me off-guard and I glance at her to see if she means it.

"I know", I whisper. "It's one of the things I love about you. Just give me time, Ana. I meant it when I said that I never wanted to try again."

"I know", she says quietly and gently grasps my hand. "I just need some time, too."

"We'll figure this out. I'm not willing to give up."

"Neither am I. I'll try to be more considerate. I've never been in a real relationship before, either."

"Another first?", I grin and I'm rewarded with a shy smile.

"Yes. Another first", she responds and instinctively bites her bottom lip in return.

"You're biting your lip", I remark.

"What are you gonna do about it?" As she asks this, a thought enters my mind.

"Do I deserve to be punished?", I ask boldly and her brows furrow in response.

"You want me to restrain you?"

"If I remember correctly, I believe I enjoyed it."

"But I could touch you...", she begins but can't find the words to say. I feel the darkness closing in and take a deep breath to calm my erratic heart.

"Don't stray from the lines. It's all about trust." She opens her mouth to say something but instead takes my hand and kisses each knuckle in turn.  
"Okay", she finally says and I'm momentarily surprised by her response.

"Okay", I retort simply because I can't think of anything else to say. _Miss Steele, what am I gonna do with you?_

 **We pull up outside** the pier on The Sound and anxiety blooms in my chest. Am I willing to do this again? The last time I was punished was when she wanted to teach me a lesson for selling her car without her permission. I smirk at the memory. _Yes, that was nice._

"Is that your boat?", Ana asks once we exit the car and approach the nearest vessel.

"Yes. It's called _The Grace_."

"After your mom?"

"You sound surprised."

"I thought you didn't care about your family."

"I don't, but this was from my yard in Seattle. The name sounded like the right fit."

"Are you ever gonna love your family?"

"It's hard being a perfect son in a perfect family", I shrug and offer her my hand to help her on the boat. She accepts and climbs over the edge. I quickly follow and pull my phone out of my pocket.

"Hey, Ed. I'm taking The Grace for a while. Can you come and mind the sails?"

"Sure thing, Mr. Grey. I'm on my way", he replies and I hang up.

"How long are we gonna be out?", Ana asks as I take her shawl.

"Until I know it's safe. Taylor'll call me when he can." I set her shawl on a chair and remove my jacket before doing the same.

"Do you like it?"

"Christian, it's beautiful", she replies breathlessly.

"Like you", I remark before pulling her in and kissing her, hard. My tongue teases hers and I'm soon greeted with a small moan emanating from her throat. When we pull away, we're both panting hard.

"Ed'll be here soon. He can take it from there."

"Doesn't he need your help?"

"Not tonight. Let's get you to bed."

"Do you have a restraint?"

"I'll see what I can do", I smirk and offer her my hand. Fortunately, she accepts. I lead her to the bedroom below deck and close the door before locking it in place. I undo my bowtie and hand it Ana.

"Use this. I'm all yours", I remark, quietly ignoring the darkness.

"Christian, we don't have to do this."

"It's fine. It's all about trust." As I tell her this, she takes a moment to process what I've said. Finally, she cups my face and pull my lips down to meet hers, tenderly kissing me as she does. My hand moves to the base of her spine and I push her against my growing erection. She faintly gasps in return and I can't hide my grin.

"Lie down", she whispers and after a moment, I do as I'm told. I watch in amazement as she eases the zipper and pulls her dress down to the floor, letting it pool at her feet. She then removes her panties and heels and climbs astride me on the bed.

"Are you sure about this?", she asks tentatively.

"I'm all yours", I reassure her and taking her cue, she undoes my pants and I lift my hips, making it easier for her to take them off. She slowly pulls my boxers down and stares in wonder at my growing erection. She licks her lips and carefully places my clothes on the ground, before reaching for the buttons on my shirt. I hold my breath as she concentrates hard on her task and soon she pulls my shirt open, revealing the still intact outline of the road-map. She motions for me to sit up and I oblige, allowing her easier access to remove my shirt. She folds it nicely and places it on the pile on the floor. She then takes my tie and tells me to put my wrists by the rail. I do as I'm told. She concentrates hard and ties my wrists in place, reminding me of when I visited her in her apartment. She gently pulls on the restraint to make sure it's secure, and in-turn looks quite pleased with herself.

"You okay?"

"Whenever I'm with you", I reply and she smiles in response. She reaches down for my trousers and smirks as she finds a condom in the back pocket. She rips the packet with her teeth and pinches the tip before slowly sliding it on my length. I exhale sharply as she sits upright and looks at me for direction.

"It's whatever you want to do", I tell her and soon, she sits on my lap, grasps my member, and unhurriedly slides down my length, gasping as she does.

 _She's so fucking tight._

Once she adjusts, she kisses me sweetly and teases my tongue with the tip of her own. I groan in accordance and soon, she starts a steady pace and rides me, taking her time and holding the bed as she does.

"Ana", I groan and her head falls back as she takes me, closing her eyes and moaning in advance. I hear her whimper and I know she's close.

"Come for me, baby. Don't be afraid to come." After a few more thrusts, she calls out an incomprehensible version of my name and sags on top of me before I find my own release. We're both breathing heavily as Ana lies on top of me, careful not to touch the forbidden areas, and tenderly places a kiss on my chest. The darkness constricts but I ignore it, instead enjoying the feel of her.

"I love you", she says quietly.

"I love you, too", I remark and I sense her grin on my chest.

"The lines are smudged", she retorts and I wonder idly what she's talking about.

"The road-map", she clarifies.

"Do you want to wash it off?"

"Do you want me to?"

"Just don't stray from the lines", I say and she kisses me again.

"Okay." She pulls out of me and removes the condom before knotting it and tossing it in the trashcan. She quickly unties me and rubs my wrists in an effort to bring them life.

"Let's go take a shower", I order and chastely kiss her before climbing off the bed and pulling her to her feet. We enter the nearby bathroom and I turn on the faucet, making sure the temperature is just right. Ana holds me close and I have to fight my erratic heartrate.

"Are you okay?", she asks once the water is hot enough.

"I'm fine, Miss Steele. Do you want to enter first?"

"If you wish, Mr. Grey", she smiles and enters the shower, quickly followed by me. I watch as she takes a washcloth from a cabinet and lathers it with soap, looking up at me for direction.

"Go ahead", I respond a little hoarsely and taking the hint, she begins to wash the lipstick from my chest. I close my eyes as she gently rubs the marks. My breathing shallows at every move she makes. Finally, she finishes and gives me a tender kiss, causing me to open my eyes in response. She then looks down at my chest and I sense tears are welling in her eyes.

"Are these burns?", she asks and I can hear the trembling in her voice.

"Go on, it's over."

"Please tell me", she pleads and I struggle with what to say.

"They're cigarette burns. I was abused when I was little." She puts her hand to her mouth and I faintly hear her gasp at my revelation.

"Did your mother do that to you?"

"No. One of her lovers did. He was abusive and an alcoholic", I explain and silently Ana starts crying.

"Hey", I gently coax her and she looks up at me with pain in her eyes.

"It's in the past. It's over."

"What else did he do?"

"He abused us. He used to throw me around and beat the shit out of me. He did the same to my mother."

"Oh no", she exclaims.

"Don't worry about it. It's over."

"Is that why you can't bear to be touched?", she asks abruptly and I notice the tears starting to fall down her cheeks.

"Yes. The only time I was touched was when I had a nightmare the first night after my adoption."

"Is that what the nightmares are about?"

"Yes. I tried not to cry but I couldn't help myself. Grace and Carrick came to comfort me and I ended up sleeping in their bed for the night. After that, I didn't talk for two years." I close my eyes as I realize my confession. I gaze at Ana and she starts sobbing uncontrollably, causing me to hold her close and let her weep. _Ana, please don't cry._

"I'm so sorry", she whimpers and I stroke her hair in an effort to calm her down.

"I've never told anyone that", I declare. "Not even Elena."

"Why?"

"Grace respected my privacy. She only knew bits and pieces about what happened."

"Another first?"

"Another first", I smile and gently wipe the tears from her eyes. She sniffs and looks up at me.

"I know how difficult it is for you to open to me and...tell me these things", she starts. "But I can't thank you enough."

"Anything to make you happy", I say because it's the truth. I never wanted to open up about my life to anyone, but I'm more than happy that I did it for Ana. My Ana. My love.

"Anything?", she says quietly and gives me a carnal look.

"Oh, Ana", I breathe and pull her in gently, losing myself to the woman I love.

 **Ana's sleeping soundly** beside me and I recount all that has just occurred.

I brought her upon The Grace, another first to add to the list. She restrained me, we made love, I took her in the shower and told her what happened when I was younger.

 _When was the last time I ever talked with a woman apart from Elena?_

 _Never._

I smile at the thought.

Careful not to wake Ana, I pull out a pair of shorts from the dresser and pick up my cell and dial Taylor.

"Mr. Grey", he answers after two rings.

"Taylor", I begin, careful to keep my voice low. "Is Ana's Beetle still at the dealership?"

"It should be, sir. Marcus is taking up a lot of time to repair it."

"Would he be willing to resell it?"

"I think so."

"Good. Tell him to finish it up and send it to my apartment when he's finished. I would like to give it back to Miss Steele."


	10. Chapter Nine

**I'm lying peacefully** in bed, reflecting over everything that's just happened. I never would've imagined what Christian told me, but I also would've never imagined his life being that way. My heart aches at the memory of his confession.

 _"_ _They're cigarette burns. I was abused when I was little."_

 _"_ _He abused us. He used to throw me around and beat the shit out of me. He did the same to my mother."_

 _Oh, Fifty..._ My heart hurts even more.

I slowly sit up and hold the comforter to my chest, quickly noticing that Christian is nowhere to be seen. I hear faint voices coming from outside and carefully sit up, smiling when I see a dark pair of jeans, matching bra and panties, and cream sweater waiting for me on a chair. I dress quickly and pull my hair in a ponytail, and step outside to find Christian tying a knot of some kind and talking with someone at the wheel. He looks up and smiles when he sees me, and I smile shyly in return.

"Good morning", he addresses once I approach him.

"Good morning."

"Sleep well?"

"I did. You?"

"I tend to sleep better when you're there."

"Really?"

"Does that surprise you?"

"Nothing you do surprises me anymore", I remark and raise a brow to emphasize my point. Christian laughs and finishes with the knot, before waving at Ed and leading me to a couch on the other side. He motions for me to sit and I oblige.

"I guess now I know where your knot-tying expertise comes from", I smirk.

"Are you complaining, Miss Steele?"

"Not at all, Mr. Grey", I smile sweetly and he pulls me close and kisses the top of my head.

"Did they find Leila?", I ask and notice Christian tensing as I do.

"Not yet, but they changed all the locks. You can stay with me until she's found."

"I can't do that, I have to work tomorrow."

"Ana, I'm not letting you wander the city while Leila's still out there."

"I'm not 'wandering the city', I'm going home and then I'm going to my office. I'll be fine. You have enough security for my family and yours." He opens his mouth to speak but I hold my hand up to stop him before he can continue.

"Don't get off me on the job thing. I love working and I have bills to pay. And I meant it when I said that I don't want your money."

"It's not about that. I just don't want you going out there when Leila's still at large."

"Why are you so concerned about her? Is it because she damaged my car?" He sighs deeply and I immediately know there's more to the story.

"What?", I prompt.

"Leila bought a gun before coming to my penthouse", he says quietly and I sit up straight at this new piece of news.

"Before her suicide attempt?"

"Yes. She wanted to use it on Mrs. Jones but, she cut herself instead."

"How do you know this?"

"Gail told me this morning. I didn't wanna worry you." I scoff at his remark and roll my eyes before sitting back in my seat.

"Did you just roll your eyes at me?", he whispers and when I gaze at him, he has that _look_ in his eyes. _Oh my..._

"Maybe I did, Mr. Grey, but alas we're at sea and nowhere near your Red Room of Pain."

"That didn't prove too difficult last night", he smirks and I blush, remembering that I'm the one that tied him to a bed.

"Am I ever gonna go in there again?", I ask suddenly and Christian gapes at me as if I've grown three heads.

"I don't think we should."

"Because I left?"

"Because of what you saw." I furrow my brows at his comment.

"Saw what?"

"Another side of me, which led you to leaving."

"Christian, I told you. That time was different."

"No-one's ever walked out on me before. I was worried you left for good."

"Christian, I'm here now and I'm definitely not leaving. I love you way too much to ever do that to you again."

"Ana, it wasn't your fault."

"Elena said you came to her after I left." Christian looks at me as if he doesn't know what I'm talking about.

"When?", he asks finally.

"At the masquerade."

"Ana, I didn't see her after that. I hardly saw anyone when you left."

"Really?"

"What else did she say?"

"Um, that you were so broken when I left and how you're not the man for me."

"Fuck...", he whispers and I wonder if I went too far.

"Ana, she's wrong. You're all I want, but I have no idea why she doesn't feel the same."

"It's not like we got off on the right foot when we met."

"I know but she's never told me that I should steer clear of anyone. I don't know if it's because of the dinner at my parent's or not, but I'm not going to let her try and tear us apart."

"Do you still trust her?"

"Not after this. I don't know why she's going against you, but I wouldn't worry about it. If you want, I can talk to her about it."

"I would prefer it if you didn't."

"What do you mean?"

"I don't trust her, Christian. After what she did to you..."

"Ana, it doesn't mean anything. After what happened with my mother, I needed some release."

"Then why did Elena think that sex was the option?"

"I don't know, but she saved me, and kept me from acting out again."

"Again? What do you mean?"

"Remember when I said it's hard being a perfect son in a perfect family?" I nod.

"What I meant is that by the time I reached my teens, I was lashing out at everyone, started drinking, stealing even, then Elena came in and made me forget."

"Why were you acting out?"

"I guess I was depressed. I didn't trust my family and needed to calm myself down. Elena stopped that for a while, but it wasn't until Linc found out that we had to end our relationship."

"Linc?"

"Elena's ex."

"Mr. Robinson?"

"Yeah. He doesn't like me very much after he found out his wife was fucking me."

"What happened?"

"He almost beat us to death."

"Oh my God."

"That's another reason why I owe her. I felt responsible for what happened, so I bought her salon and she helped me start my business, once I returned the favor."

"And you still glorify her after that?"

"I don't glorify anyone, Ana. Only you", he smiles and leans down to kiss me, thus ending the conversation.

"Thank you. For everything", I retort.

"We aim to please, Miss Steele."

"I'm well aware of that, Mr. Grey", I smirk and kiss him again.

"You wanna take the helm?", he asks suddenly and for a moment I wonder what he means.

"Take the helm?"

"Steer the boat", he clarifies and my eyes widen further.

"I can't do that", I protest but he takes my hand and leads me to the front. He quickly introduces me to Ed and then indicates for him to leave.

"Here, grab the wheel and keep it steady. I gotta help Ed with the sails."

"Christian, I can't do that."

"It's easy. I know you can do it. Here, let me strap you in", he remarks and before I can protest, he grabs a bright orange life jacket and fastens me in. He then guides me over to the wheel and places my hands on it, causing my heart to stop beating as a result.

"I'll be quick. Just keep it steady and hold on when the wind kicks in."

"Christian, don't leave me."

"It's okay. I'll be back", he reassures me and gives me a quick kiss before climbing up the center of the boat and hoisting the sails. I tightly grip the steering wheel, my knuckles going whiter as I do, and listen to the crashing waves and rushing wind as my heart continues to pound in my chest. I look ahead and gasp in wonder at how beautiful everything looks, and I can't fight my giggle as I suddenly realize why Christian asked me to do this.

"You're doing good, baby!", Christian shouts above the wind. "Hold her steady and don't let go no matter what."

"Aye, aye Captain", I joke and concentrate hard on keeping the boat steady. Finally, I hear Christian approaching me and stands behind me so he can grip the wheel.

"Is this still more?", he shouts.

"Oh my God, so much more", I exclaim and I sense his answering grin behind me.

"Better than flying?"

"I think they're pretty much the same", I giggle and Christian laughs in response.

"You're doing good. You like it?"

"Yes! It's beautiful", I yell as my hair flies in the wind and Christian holds me close.

"I knew you could do it", Christian whispers in my ear before kissing my cheek, causing me to giggle like a schoolgirl. The wind starts to die down and my adrenaline kicks in as we slow down.

"Nice work. Ed can take it from here", Christian remarks and leads me away from the wheel and on the left side of the boat to take in the sights.

"It's beautiful, Christian", I respond, breathless.

"Just like you", he retorts and when I look at him, he looks proud. Before I can stop myself, I throw my arms around his neck and stand up on my tiptoes before kissing him deeply. He immediately responds and holds me close, instinctively pushing me closer to his body.

"I love you", I beam.  
"Well, I love you", he answers and kisses me again.

 **After a few hours,** we stop at the pier and my heart is still pounding at the perfect afternoon. _Will I ever get tired of this?_

 _Of course not!,_ my subconscious remarks and I can't help my answering grin.

"Thanks, Ed. I'll call you if I need anything", Christian remarks towards Ed and takes my hand as we walk down the pier.

"Do you need to go home?", Christian asks once we reach his car.

"No", I reply. _I don't want to leave._

"Good. Taylor said it should be safe, so we can have lunch and I'll take you back to my apartment."

"Okay", I reply as Christian holds my door open for me and I slide in. Just then, my phone starts ringing and pulling it out of my back pocket, I check the caller ID; Jack?

"Hello?", I answer.

"Ana, can you come in for a second? I need to talk to you about something urgent."

"Right now?", I inquire.

"No time like the present."

"Um, okay. I can be there in twenty minutes."

"I'll see you then", he responds before hanging up.

"What is it?", Christian asks once he's closed his door.

"Um, can we go by SIP for a minute? Jack wants to talk to me." Christian tenses at my request and I wonder if I shouldn't have asked.

"What's it about?", he asks once we pull out.

"I don't know. He just said it was urgent." Christian lets out a heavy sigh and turns down a lane in the direction of SIP.

"Make it quick. I'm anxious to get you home", he orders gently and I nod in response.

 **We pull up** outside SIP and I give Christian a quick kiss before grabbing my phone and heading inside. I wave to Claire, the receptionist, before heading for the elevators and heading to my floor. Once the doors open, I walk quickly towards Jack's office just as Hannah emerges from it.

"Ana", she exclaims, obviously surprised to see me.

"Hi, Hannah. I'm just here to see Jack."

"Are you in trouble?"

"No, he just said he needed to see me", I inform her but as I do, I notice a level of uncertainty etched on her face. _What's wrong?_

"Okay", she says recovering. "Call me if you need anything", she remarks and after a final smile, she heads down the hall. Feeling confused at the encounter, I take a deep breath and gently knock on Jack's door.

"Hi, Jack", I say sweetly.

"Ana, take a seat", he retorts coldly and I quickly do as I'm told.

"Did you book my room for New York?", he asks once he sits down.

"For the book expo on Friday?"

"Yes. It should be in the diary."

"Yeah, I booked your room, of course." _Did I do something wrong?_

"Then why didn't you book a room for yourself?" _What?_

"I'm sorry?"

"It's expected that my assistants attend with me on any trip I go on."

"Oh. Um, I didn't know that. I'm sorry." _Why didn't anyone tell me?_

"May I ask why you didn't know?"

"Um, I guess no-one told me."

"Are you sure it had nothing to do with the fact that you were hanging out with your boyfriend?"

"What? No, of course not. I just wasn't informed."

"Try to avoid that in the future, Ana. Book yourself a room and we'll leave at eight on Friday."  
"Of course, Jack. Again, I'm so sorry."

"Don't apologize, just get yourself a room", he remarks before pulling out his cell. "Unless Christian Grey needs you here. I mean, it's not like you need to work", he retorts and I'm that close to rolling my eyes at him.

"I'll sort it out. You have my word", I respond sweetly and he looks pleased by my answer. He then motions for me to leave and I do so without hesitation. _Shit, what am I supposed to tell Christian?_


	11. Chapter Ten

**We pull up** outside Escala and anxiety blooms in my chest. How the hell am I supposed to tell Christian about New York?

"Everything alright?", he asks once we enter the elevator.

"Of course", I say, hoping I sound convincing.  
"Just remember what I said about communication."

"You're one to talk", I retort, arching a brow to emphasize my point. Before he can say anything, the elevator doors open and I step into the foyer.

"I'll be in my office. Make yourself at home", he remarks as he offers to take my coat for me.

"Thank you, Sir", I remark and he looks surprised but amused by my comment.

"Maybe we should visit the Red Room sooner than I thought", he says suddenly but before I can respond, he hangs up our coats and heads for his office. Rolling my eyes, knowing he won't see, I step into the great room and take in the view.

"Miss Steele", someone addresses me and I look to see Mrs. Jones walking towards me with a warm smile on her face.

"Hi, Gail", I reply.

"I wasn't expecting Mr. Grey to come home with company. Can I get you anything?"

"Oh no, it's fine. I can handle myself."

"As you wish, Miss Steele."

"Can't you just call me Ana?"

"Well, Mr. Grey likes being called...Mr. Grey, so that would be a little odd."

"Well, I'm not Mr. Grey. I'm sure he won't mind."

"Of course Miss...Ana", she says and I smile.

"Um, Gail can I ask you something?"

"Of course."

"Um, is the door to the Play Room unlocked?", I ask aloud, surprised by my question.

"Oh, um, it should be. Were you and Mr. Grey planning on using it?"

"Um, not really but I was just curious is all", I respond, blushing.

"You don't have to be shy around me, Ana. I've been working for Mr. Grey for a while so I know what his tastes are like. You don't have to be embarrassed", she says warmly and I smile shyly in return, secretly hoping it's not awkward as well.

"Well, I have some things to do but if you need me, I'll be in the kitchen", she interjects and after a final nod, she departs and heads that way. Checking Christian's office, I make my way upstairs and stand outside the Red Room. I turn the handle and after checking over my shoulder, make my way inside. The room looks pretty much the same since I was last here, but I quickly notice that all the belts and canes are no longer on the wall. I then remember what happened the last time I was here.

 _"_ _You need to get your shit together, Grey. I'm not the one you want."_

I shudder at the memory. If I had known we'd be incompatible, we wouldn't have made it this far.

 _Yeah, keep telling yourself that._

Shaking my head at the memory, I walk further in the room and take in the view. Apart from what happened last time, I had fun in here, and, I'm assuming, Christian did too. I blush as I remember my first times in here and how I reacted when I saw it for the first time. Being here now, it feels too surreal.

I walk over to some small chests on some dressers and open one to find some...things fitted inside. I pull out what looks like a clothespin and shudder when I think about what it's for. I open another drawer and find a wheel-like item and on impulse run it over my hand. It tickles and I giggle at the feel before putting it back inside. I open a few more drawers but feel as if someone's watching me, and I turn around to see Christian standing in the doorway watching me intently. I gasp once I see him. I thought I was alone.

"Um, I didn't hear you come in", I stutter and he smirks at my reaction. _Shit, how does he do that?_

"I figured that. Mrs. Jones told me where you were."

"Um, do you want me to leave?", I ask and he frowns at my comment. _Oh?_

"I would prefer you didn't", he says softly and slowly walks over to me and take the item from my hand.

"Remember when you asked what butt plugs were?", he asks, holding up the item to indicate what it is.

"You have a very vivid memory, Mr. Grey", I say quietly.

"Only when it comes to you, Miss Steele", he smiles and puts the plug back in its drawer.

"Pull out something else", he orders and it takes me a moment to process what he's said.

"From the drawer", he clarifies and I blush in response. I open another drawer and pull out a clamp of some kind.

"Those are nipple clamps", he states and motions for me to hold out my hand. I do as I'm told and he puts the clamp on my index finger, before gently tightening it, causing me to gasp.

"It's even more intense when you take them off", he says but before I can respond, he gently yanks it off my finger.

"Ow", I say in an attempt to scold him and he just smirks in response. I walk over to a glass cabinet and notice a bar of some kind inside with cuffs on the ends. I open the doors and pull it out, holding it in my hands as I try to process what it is.

"What's this?", I ask and Christian steps further to close off the space.

"It's a spreader bar. You asked about them before."

"What does it do?", I ask but Christian seems hesitant to answer.  
"What's wrong?", I ask when he leaves me in silence. After taking a deep breath, he finally responds.

"I think this is enough show-and-tell."

"Why?"

"Ana, the last time you were in here, you left and I didn't see you for two weeks."

"Christian, I told you that was different."

"But you saw another side of me...and you left. I'm just not ready to have you in here again."

"Christian...", I start but can't think of what to say. I stare down at the bar in my hands and after a moment, gaze up at Christian.

"Could you still show me how this works?", I ask boldly and he looks at me as if I've grown an extra head.

"Ana, I told you not in here."

"I didn't say in here. Maybe in your room?" Once I ask this, he still looks stunned. Finally, he looks at me with inspiration and takes the spreader from my hands.

"Alright. Not in here", he says simply but before I can respond, he bends down and lifts me over his shoulder before walking to the door and heading outside. He closes the door behind him and heads downstairs, and I bounce on his shoulder as we walk down the hallway. Mrs. Jones looks up from the kitchen and I suddenly feel embarrassed at what she's witnessing.

"Mrs. Jones", Christian states in her direction before heading towards his bedroom and closing the door. He slides me down his length but before I can react, he leans down and kisses me tenderly, catching me by surprise. When he pulls away, he motions for me to stand by the bed and I do so without hesitation. When I glance up at him, he has _that look_ in his eyes and my breath hitches at the sight. He walks over until he's standing in front of me, determination and lust clear in his eyes. He drops the bar on the floor before directing his attention back to me.

"Remember your safe word?", he inquires and after a moment, I slowly nod in response.

"Tell me your safe word", he orders gently and I'm panting hard at his request.

"Red", I whisper and he smiles at my answer. Before I can react, he gently pushes me on the bed so that I'm spread out underneath him, before he reaches for my jeans and panties and tugs them down my legs. He tosses them on the floor and I watch mesmerized as he starts to unbutton his shirt and slides it off his shoulders. He picks up the bar and gently spreads my legs, before attaching the left cuff on my left ankle and securing it tightly. He does the same for my other ankle and unhooks something on the bar but before I can ponder it any further, he then lifts the spreader and stretches it out. I gasp at the sudden movement and he slowly lowers it down the bed. He looks me up and down and crawls up the bed, softly kissing me as he does.

I moan at the touch and writhe underneath him, hoping to spread my legs but they're firmly in place. Christian kisses my neck and cheek and finally, his lips find mine and he kisses me deeply. When he pulls away, we're both breathing hard.

"You're mine", he whispers and I can't help my smile.

"I'm yours", I reply and he smiles in return. He then starts kissing down my body again and when he reaches the apex of my thighs, he starts circling his tongue directly over my clitoris. My body bucks at the sensation as he swirls his tongue around, and I soon feel my orgasm building. I feel my legs stiffen and I silently curse him because I can't stretch them out. Finally, my orgasm rips through me and I scream an incomprehensible version of his name. He suddenly stands off the bed and raises the bar again.

"You okay?", he breathes.

"Yeah", I reply and with that, he flips me over and pulls me back on all fours. I giggle at the movement and hear a familiar sound as he lowers his pants and unhurriedly slides into me. I gasp at the feel and soon, he works up a steady pace and I match his movements, trying to take as much of him as I can.

"Fuck, Ana", he hisses through his teeth and ultimately, he calls out my name as we both come hard. He lies on top of me and his weight feels comforting. He kisses my shoulder before gently sliding out of me and undoing the bar. He rubs my ankles to bring them back to life and then lies on the bed beside me, propping his head in his hand and gazing at me warily.

"You okay?", he pants.

"That was really nice", I joke and he chuckles at my comment.

"You're very persistent, Miss Steele."

"As are you, Mr. Grey."

"I told you these were fun. Did you enjoy it?"

"You should know me better by now", I scold as I arch my brow as well.

"Stubborn woman", he says and leans forward to kiss me quickly.

"Are you hungry?"

"Always, Mr. Grey."

"Good. I'll meet you in the kitchen. Leave the bar. I'll take it back when we're done."

"Okay", I smile sweetly and kiss him again. He smiles shyly at my gesture and quickly stands off the bed, adjusting his pants and picking up his shirt. I stare at him and take in the view.

"Enjoying the view?", he asks once he notices me gawking at him.

"Always", I reply.

"You're an impossible woman, Miss Steele", he says simply and kisses me again. He then picks up my panties and just when I think he's going to hand them to me, he instead stuffs them inside his pocket and exits the room. I gape at his actions and roll my eyes once he's gone.

 _Bastard._

I head for the bathroom and check myself in the mirror and once I look presentable, I follow him out of the room.

 **We're having steak** with green vegetables and some kind of red wine, and memories from earlier start circling my mind.

"Are you ever gonna tell me what your boss said?", Christian inquires as he takes a sip of wine. _Here goes..._

"He wants me to go to New York", I blurt out loud and it looks as if Christian just choked on his food.

"When?", he finally asks.

"This Friday. He wants me to go with him to a book expo for the weekend."

"Alone?"

"Christian, it's not like that. I'm only gonna be gone for a few days." He sighs heavily and I briefly wonder what he's thinking.

"Ana, you know he's had assistants for no more than three weeks. They all quit without any notice at all." _What?_

"You don't think I can handle him?"

"That's not it."

"That's what it feels like."

"Ana, I know full well that you can handle anything."

"But you don't trust me."

"Of course I trust you. But I don't trust him."

"Christian, I don't think of him like that. He's my boss, nothing more."

"Then what about his assistants?"

"What about them?"

"Why do you think none of them lasted for very long?"

"I don't know but why should it matter? Jack's a good boss and I wanna do this with him. Besides, it's not like I haven't been to New York before", I say in an attempt to lighten the mood, but Christian frowns as he takes another bite of his steak.

"Christian?", I ask when he doesn't reply and ultimately, he meets my gaze.

"You don't have to worry about me. Jack hasn't tried anything and I'm doing really well. Why can't you trust me to take care of myself?"

"Ana, it's not that. I have a bad feeling about him and I don't wanna see you getting hurt."

"Why would he hurt me? He hasn't done anything wrong." As I say this, I remember Jack's comment about why I didn't know about New York.

"What is it?", Christian asks once he notices my expression.

"Nobody told me about needing to go to New York, and Jack thought it had something to do with you." I notice Christian clench his jaw at my comment before picking up his wine and taking another sip.

"Why didn't anyone tell you?"

"I don't know, but Jack was pretty upset when I told him no-one informed me."

"And you still think you can handle being alone with him?"

"Christian, it was last minute. I didn't like what he said but why should that be an issue?"

"I just think that if you're gonna go to New York, you shouldn't go with Hyde. I could take you since I have a place there and you can do the expo another time."

"Christian, I can't do that. This is something I wanna do." After taking a deep breath, he finally responds.

"Then let me take you instead." _What?_

"What do you mean?"

"Let me take you to New York. Then I can keep an eye on you in case Jack gets out of line."

"Christian, you don't have to do that."

"Ana, I trust you, but there's something about Hyde that makes me feel uncomfortable. Now, I don't know what it is but just to be safe, I would like to take you myself just to make sure you're safe." _Holy cow, is he being serious?_ I glance at him to see if he means it.

"Are you sure?", I ask finally.

"Yes. It's like you said, it's not like you haven't been there before", he smirks and I remember what happened the last time we were in New York.

"Okay", I remark.

"Okay?"

"Yeah. I mean, of course I would rather see New York with you."

"Good", he says as if pleased by my answer. "I hate it when we fight." I can't fight my laugh at his comment.

"That wasn't a fight. That was a conversation. You know, it's when one person talks and the other one listens and you resolve an issue."

"That's how it works."

"It's crazy, isn't it?", I tease and roll my eyes as I take a sip of wine.

"I can tell when you roll your eyes at me."

"That doesn't surprise me, Mr. Grey", I joke and continue eating my food.

 _Holy shit, he's taking me to New York._


	12. Chapter Eleven

**I'm sitting outside Jack's office,** anxiously anticipating telling him the news about Christian and New York. What am I supposed to tell him? I obviously can't mention how much Christian distrusts him, but surely he'll still be wondering why he's coming along at all. _God, why is he so frustrating?_

"Ana?", Jack suddenly asks, breaking my wayward thoughts.

"I'm sorry", I murmur. "Do you need something?"

"Can you come to my office please? I need to have a word." _Oh shit, am I in trouble?_

"Of course", I smile sweetly and follow him in his office. He closes the door behind me and motions for me to sit. I do so without hesitation. He takes a seat across from me and looks greatly determined. _Why?_

"Were you aware that your boyfriend was buying the company?" _What? He didn't know?_

"Yes", I confess.

"Does it have anything to do with you working here?"

"He bought it before I started", I blush, hoping he doesn't notice.

"Ana, I know your boyfriend's reputation but this, it just seems too far. When were you planning on telling me?" _Trust me, I know._

"I'm sorry. I just assumed you knew."

"Ana, you know you can trust me, right?" _I think so?_

"Yes", I reply, even though I'm not sure.

"Then can you promise to keep me more up to date about things like this? I'd hate to see you fired so quickly." _What?_

"I promise it won't interfere with my working here at all."

"Are you sure? Your boyfriend is known to be a little ruthless from what I've heard." _Join the club._

"I know but it won't be a problem. You have my word."

"Good", he smiles. "Are you two getting along okay?" Holy shit, where did that come from?

"Um, just fine, thanks. I've never been more happy in my life", I confess because it's the truth. Jack regards me impassively as if assessing my words. _Why?_

"How does he feel about New York?" Oh shit, here it comes.

"Um, he wants to take me himself", I say quietly as Jack raises his eyebrows in surprise.

"Going with you to New York?"

"Um..." _Shit, what do I say to that?_

"I see", Jack says simply and suddenly stands from his desk and walks around until he looms over me.

"Ana, I know you got great potential here, but I don't wanna think that Christian Grey is embellishing your success." _What?_

"No, of course not. We've actually been to New York before and he wants to show me the sights." There, that sounded convincing.

"Really?", Jack asks, impressed. "What were you doing there before?"

"Um, he had some meetings to attend and wanted me to come along", I say quietly, secretly hoping he doesn't see my blush from remembering my last trip.

"I see. Well, if you can keep him out of trouble, I see no reason why he can't come along." Whoa, that was quick.

"He won't. I'll still be able to work while he's there."

"Are you gonna be staying with him?", Jack asks darkly—I think.

"Um, I think so. He said he had a place."

"Well, as long as you keep working. Wouldn't want you getting fired so soon in your job", he replies with a smile that doesn't match his eyes. "Call me when you get settled?"

"Of course. As soon as we arrive."

"Good. Well, I guess that's it then. I'll see you both in New York."

"Okay", I reply before standing and having his permission to leave. For some reason, I need some fresh air. Stepping out of his office, I notice my phone vibrating on my desk and smile when I read the caller ID; it's Christian. Checking over my shoulder, I pick up the phone.

"Hi", I answer.

"Hello, Miss Steele. I'm outside with Taylor. Would you like me to help you pack?"

"That would be lovely, Mr. Grey. I'll be right out."

"I'll see you then. Laters, baby."

"Laters", I giggle and quickly hang up. I start gathering my things when Hannah approaches me carrying a large stack of manuscripts.

"Hi, Hannah. Do you need any help?"

"No, thanks, I'm good", she smiles at me reassuringly. "Are you ready for New York?"

"I think so. I told Jack I would meet him at the tarmac."

"You aren't going with him?"

"Um, I'm going with Christian Grey." She raises her brows, seemingly impressed; I think.

"Well, hope you have fun. Send me pictures when you get there. I've always wanted to go."

"Of course."

"Good night, Ana."

"Good night", I reply and with that, she disappears from my view. Gathering my equilibrium, I slip on my coat and head outside to meet Christian. Taylor's standing by the car and smiles warmly at me as he opens the door and I slide in next to Christian.

"Miss Steele", he greets me before taking my hand and gently kissing my knuckles. "How was your day?"

"Just fine, Mr. Grey. And yours?"

"Looking up. What did your boss say about New York?" _Jesus, he doesn't hesitate._

"He's fine with it. He's surprised about you buying SIP."

"Why?", he asks. Did he not tell him?

"Um, I guess he didn't know", I shrug and Christian's brows furrow in response. He turns his head to look out the window and we ride in silence back to my apartment.

 **Friday comes and** I'm barely prepared. Grabbing the last of my clothes, I close the lid of my suitcase and turn to see Christian smirking at me as I do. He's wearing a dark shirt with the top three buttons undone, dark blue jeans and a black overcoat. He looks hotter than the night.

"Ready, Miss Steele?", he asks with another one of my bags in his hand.

"Always, Mr. Grey", I respond.

"Good. Let's go. I'm anxious to show you my place", he replies and he looks so young and carefree. It makes me smile and I graciously accept his hand as he leads me outside.

 **We pull up** to the tarmac and after helping me out, Christian starts talking to Taylor who looks visibly concerned. _Oh? What's wrong?_

"Just get on it as soon as you can. I don't need this shit running down my neck", he growls towards Taylor.

"Yes, sir. I'll call you when we have something", he answers and after a polite smile towards me, takes out my things and starts heading for the jet.

"Is everything okay?", I ask once he's out of earshot.

"Nothing that concerns you", Christian states with a reassuring grin before reaching out his hand. I willingly accept, silently scolding him for not telling me what I want to know. He leads me up the stairs of the jet and memories from the past start circling my mind.

"Hopefully you'll be sober this time", he smirks and I flush in response. _Yeah, me too._

 **Christian gently shakes me** awake and I open my eyes to see the familiar view of New York out the window.

"Welcome back", he whispers before leaning down and kissing me gently. I smile sleepily at his gesture and soon, we land smoothly and Christian again offers his hand for mine. I accept it without hesitation and follow him into the familiar city of New York.

 **We drive to** a place deep within the city and I turn my head quickly, trying to take in all the sights. It's as beautiful as I remember.

"Look familiar?", Christian asks suddenly and points at a bar, causing me to blush.

"I still can't believe I got drunk the last time we were here", I say quietly.

"If I remember correctly, I would say it's a good thing", he grins, humor gleaming in his eyes. _How the hell does he do that?_

"Too bad I broke the contract", I reply and Christian frowns in response.

"Rule seven, clause five", I clarify and Christian's expression softens.

"I'm happy you didn't sign", he says quietly, causing me to look at him. _Holy shit; quick turn of direction._

"Why?", I inquire.

"Because...we wouldn't have more if you had" _Oh my._ Sometimes I forget how sentimental he can be. Grasping my hand again and gazing out the window, I turn my head to gaze out my side, stuck in my own pool of thoughts.

 **We arrive at Christian's** place and I feel as if my jaw dropping to the floor.

"Like what you see?", he smirks when he notices my expression.

"Yes", I stutter before clearing my throat to try again.

"Come. I'll give you the grand tour", he addresses, looking adorable. Gratefully, I take his outstretched hand and follow him inside. The entire room is dark—how _apt_ —with cream couches, a white-bricked fireplace and two coffee tables in the center of the room, sitting proudly on top of dark wood floors. I glance towards the kitchen and it looks similar to the one at Escala, only difference being is that it has two kitchen islands instead of one. A white crystal chandelier hangs ominously in the room and every gleam of light sends beautiful and colorful glints throughout the room. _Holy cow._

"We'll take it from here", Christian informs Taylor and after a final nod—towards me as well—he exits the room. I follow Christian upstairs and quickly notice the walls are a lighter gray than downstairs with large gray carpets with little hints of black thrown in. He opens a door for me to enter and the room reminds me of his room at Grace and Carrick's, except it appears slightly smaller in comparison.

"It's beautiful", I whisper.

"Just like you", Christian replies, causing me to look at him staring at me proudly. I blush under his stare and reach up to stroke his face. He tenses slightly but allows me to run my fingertips from his jawline to the base of his neck. He visibly relaxes when I thread my fingers through his hair and gently pull him to me, kissing him tenderly. He groans deep in his throat and desire unfurls in my belly. _God, I love this man._

"Do I need another road-map?", I find myself asking once I pull away.

"No. I think you know where to touch", he whispers, trying hard to hide his fear. Tentatively, I reach for the buttons on his shirt, slowly undoing each one as he closes his eyes and holds his breath at my touch. I reach up to stroke his cheek and he immediately opens his eyes and gazes at me—either in fear or in love.

"Do you want me to stop?", I inquire softly.

"No. Keep going", he chokes and my heart constricts. Kissing him chastely, I return to my task and once I undo the last button, I gently pull his shirt from the waistband of his jeans and slowly pull it over his shoulders. His breathing is ragged as I look down at the scars on his chest, restraining myself not to lean down and kiss each one in turn. Shyly, I reach for the button of his jeans and pop it before sliding down the zipper at a leisurely pace. I hook my thumbs into the waistband of his jeans and unhurriedly slide them down his legs, along with his boxers. He steps out of them and I quickly stand, trying hard not to stare, before reaching up again and pulling him to my mouth.

This time, his tongue greedily invades my mouth and twists with my own and before I know it, he lifts me up and carries me to the bed before placing me down gently on the floor. He reaches for my blouse and starts undoing the buttons and I try desperately to keep myself from staring at his erection. He smirks at my expression and deftly pulls my shirt down my shoulders before dropping it on the floor by his clothes. He kisses me again as he reaches behind me and in one swift move, unhooks my bra and drops it on the floor. He gently tugs my hair to the side, exposing more of my neck to him, and he plants soft, wet kisses from the base of my ear down to the hollow in my throat. I let out a small moan as his mouth travels down my body and suddenly, he carefully latches his teeth onto my nipple and tugs. Hard.

"Ah", I moan and throw my head back at his torture, relishing in the feel of his warm mouth on my skin.

He teases my other nipple with his thumb and forefinger and all-too-soon, he stops and I start to protest but the look in his eyes catches me off-guard. He skillfully undoes the top button of my jeans and pulls them, and my panties, unhurriedly down my legs. I grip his shoulders gently as I step out of them and he tenses slightly at my touch. He kisses my inner thigh and stands swiftly before pulling me closer and kissing me hard. I moan as his tongue explores my mouth once again and we fall gently on the bed, his lips never leaving mine. He stops suddenly, leaving me breathless and smirks before reaching for his jeans and pulling out a condom. He tosses it to me and lies faceup on the bed.

"You're in charge", he says simply and I grin before sitting up and tearing the packet with my teeth. Concentrating hard, I slide it on his member and sit astride him on the bed, admiring my work. Carefully, I sit on his lap and grip him and slowly, very slowly, slide down on his length.

"Fuck", he hisses and once I adjust, I place my hands carefully on his shoulders—far from the no-go areas—and start bouncing up and down. He grabs my hips to hold me and I keep up a steady pace. I feel my walls tightening and throw my head back in ecstasy as my orgasm rips through me, calling out Christian's name towards the ceiling.

"Fuck, Ana", he groans and soon, his body stills and I watch him come gloriously, taking me with him. I collapse on his chest, careful not to touch him, as we both find our breath.

"You're incredible", he breathes and I'm silently grateful he can't see my blush.

"So are you", I reply and sit up as he slides out, causing me to wince. He removes the condom and knots it before tossing it in a wastebasket and pulling me down to him. He kisses me tenderly and sits up suddenly so we're nose to nose and I'm sitting in his lap. When he pulls away, we're both breathing hard, but he looks happier than he did and it warms my heart. Will I ever get enough of this man?

"I love you", he says.

"I love you, too. Always", I respond and he lowers me down on the bed as we lose ourselves again.

 **Later,** we're lying in each other's arms and I'm enjoying his warmth against my body. I place my hand on his shoulder and he tenses slightly, so I remove it and stroke his cheek instead. His breathing feels uneven and I quickly remove my hand.

"Don't. I'm just not used to someone touching me", he says simply and softly kisses my hair.

"Even Elena?", I blurt out loud.

"Yes. Even Elena."

"Why?" He takes a deep breath before answering.

"During our time together, it took a while for me to get used to what we were doing, and she could tell that I couldn't bear to be touched. With what we were doing, she came close and could tell I was nervous."

"Did she?"

"Once but she stopped. We reached an agreement and she hasn't touched me since."

"Were you like this when you were a child?"

"More or less, yes. None of my classmates or teachers could touch me, and Grace was the only one that did at the time when she held me after my nightmare."

"Have the nightmares ever stopped?"

"Only when I met you", he replies and I sense his smile.

"Why don't you love your family the way they love you?"

"They only love me because they had no choice."

"How do you know?"

"Because after I was acting out, I wasn't the son they wanted me to be. I just didn't live up to their expectations and it just didn't stop after that."

"What do you mean?"

"I dropped out of college during my second year." _Holy cow._

"Why so soon?"

"I wanted to start my own business. Elena helped me out."

"Were you still her submissive then?"

"It was just after we broke it off. Linc left her and she wanted to help."

"Why did she abuse you?"

"Ana..."

"Please?", I ask as I sit up. "I really wanna know." He regards me impassively but after a few moments, finally gives me an answer.

"She found out Linc was cheating on her and wanted some release." As he says this, my mouth pops open.

"We became close when I was young", he continues. "And she kissed me when I was working at her place to get away from my family, and...", he starts, feeling uncomfortable. "Things went from there."

"So, she took advantage of you because she was upset?"

"Ana, it wasn't like that. I've told you this."

"Then why is she so possessive over you?" As I ask this, he looks at me curiously as if I've grown an extra head.

"Possessive?", he says finally.

"Remember how she was at the masquerade? She told me that you weren't the man for me and grabbed my arm before you stepped in."

"What else did she say?", he asks softly.

"That nothing ever lasts and that she'll be there when I learn that." His jaw clenches and as always, I wonder what he's thinking.

"She's wrong", he says eventually. "You're all I want."

"Am I?", I say out loud. Christian runs a hand through his hair and sits up before crossing his legs.

"Ana, don't let Elena get to you. I don't know what her problem is or why she's acting this way, but I'm not gonna let her get away with what she said. If you want, I'll talk to her, and hopefully you'll never have to see her again."

"Christian, that's not what I meant", I state, even though deep down I wonder if it's true.

"Ana, she's never told me to stay away from a woman, and the way she treated you at the masquerade was taking it too far. But please, don't let her come between us. You re all that I want and I don't need or want her permission to feel that way at all."

"But she knows you better than I do", I say quietly.

"Nobody knows me better than you. I never wanted more with her. I was waiting for you."

"I just don't understand her is all. If you hadn't met her...", I stop, not wanting to bring myself to say it.

"Hey", he says gently before cupping my face.

"Don't worry about Elena. I never loved her the way I love you."

"Did you love her at all?"

"Never. I only love you."

"I'm sorry", I say and stare down at my lap.

"Don't be. She changed me, yes, but she was never you. I don't care what she says; all I want you." When I look at him, I can tell he means it. Even though I despise Elena, I should stop obsessing over her when I'm with Christian. Still, it doesn't mean I forgive her, but I'm tired of fighting and before I can stop myself, I kiss Christian tenderly and he immediately responds, lowering me on my back as he deepens the kiss.


	13. Chapter Twelve

**Christian's POV**

 **I'm on a video call with Ros,** discussing what's going on back home.

"Why did you suddenly wanna go to New York?", she asks as she tries to assess my expression.

"Ros, you know I have a place here."

"That's not what I meant. Looks like Miss Steele's done the number on you after all."

"That she has." And I think I'm starting to like it.

"Whatever, Christian", Ros says, rolling her eyes. I laugh at her reaction.

"Any word from Lucas Woods?", I ask, hoping to change the subject. I decided to give him another chance and it blew up in my face. He showed up drunk to work one morning, after he promised to be there early, and that was the last straw. I fired him on the spot and saying he reacted badly is...an understatement. He threatened to sue but I don't give a shit. Elena wouldn't allow that nonsense from anyone. I smirk at the thought.

"No, thank God. Welch has been keeping tabs on him just in case but as of now, we haven't heard from him since."

 _Good. Elena would be pleased._

Just then, I hear a ping from my computer and look to see a new e-mail from Elena. _Speak of the devil._

"Hey Ros, I gotta go. Send me those designs once you have them, alright?"

"Will do. Have fun in New York", she remarks as she raises a brow. _Oh, I fully intend to._ The Miss Steele Effect is doing wonders on my staff.

"Bye, Ros", I say before hanging up. I open up the e-mail and start reading, astonished by the heading she sent with it.

 **From:** Elena

 **Subject:** Dinner with Anastasia

 **Date:** June 10 2011 14:28

 **To:** Christian Grey

Christian, I hope you don't mind the intrusion but I wanted to offer something for Ana.

I know we've gotten off on the wrong foot in the past, but I'm hoping to make it up to her by taking her out to dinner when you both return from New York. You could attend if you wanted and it would give me a chance to learn more about her. I don't want to cause any trouble but if you'll let me, I would like to at least and try to be her friend. I know she means a lot to you and I wanna make this right.

Please let me know what you think. I'm always available; I hope you don't forget.

Elena Lincoln

Esclava Beauty Salon

 _What?_ She wants to meet with Anastasia?

I look up suddenly and see Ana standing in the doorway, wearing one of my shirts and from the looks of it, she's not wearing any underwear. She looks stunning.

"Good morning, Miss Steele", I greet her.

"Good morning, Mr. Grey. I woke up and you weren't there."

"I didn't wanna wake you. You looked so peaceful", I smirk and she smiles shyly in return.

"What are you doing?", she asks when I motion for her to come in.

"Some work from home. We're trying to design a new water system for some places in Africa in the hopes that more water can come to their villages when they need it."

"Sounds ambitious", she remarks warmly as she sits on my lap.

"It is but, we have to try what we can." She smiles and I plant a quick kiss on her lips.

"Elena e-mailed me. She was asking about you", I start and Ana furrows her brow at my comment. _Okay, this could go either way._

"What did she want?", she asks uninterested.

"She wants to meet up when we come back to Seattle. She's hoping to have dinner with you to discuss what to do."

"Why would I want to meet with her?"

"I don't expect you to but apparently, she's trying to make peace with your interactions from the past."

"Does she now?", Ana inquires, rolling her eyes.

"Did you just roll your eyes at me?"

"No", she feigns innocence.

"I think you have, Miss Steele. What should I do about that?"

"Are you gonna spank me?", she asks quietly. _Carnal creature._

"I always want to spank you and I'm touched that you feel the same way. But no, I have something else in mind", I say and stand before she has a chance to protest.

"Does Jack need you?", I ask, hoping it sounds casual.

"Not until tonight. We have a meeting for the expo."

"I could take you, if you want", I offer. I know he's her boss but I still don't trust him. This way, I can keep an eye on the fucker if he tries anything on her. Hopefully he won't.

Shaking my head at the thought, I extend my hand for hers and after a beat, she accepts. I lead her to my room and close the door behind us, then lead her to the bed and start unbuttoning my shirt.

"I like you wearing my shirts", I state as I slide it off her shoulders.

"I like wearing them, too", she replies and looks up at me through her lashes and, on impulse, bites her bottom lip.

"You're biting your lip, Miss Steele. What should I do about that?" I kiss her quickly and then motion for her to lie down on the bed. She complies immediately. For once. I reach in my bag for my silver tie—my favorite tie—and start tying her wrists to the bed. I check the restraint and sure enough, she's fastened securely. I give her a smile as I then reach in my other bag for a blindfold and once she sees it, her eyes go wide.

"Now you won't be able to roll your eyes at all", I remark as I gently lift her head and slide the mask over her eyes, watching her gasp and pant as I do. I kiss her chastely and slip my shirt over my shoulders before unbuttoning my jeans and sliding them, along with my boxers, down to the floor. I reach for a condom in my pocket and rip the packet with my teeth before sliding it unhurriedly down my length and marvel at the view of Miss Steele.

 _She's a goddess._

Realizing the now aware feeling escalating through my body, I slowly reach up for her neck and guide my fingertips softly down her throat. She gasps loudly and I continue tracing my fingers slowly down her body, barely touching her, and gently pinch her nipple and watch in amazement as it elongates at my touch.

"Always so eager, Miss Steele", I quip as I twist the nipple around my forefinger and thumb. She raises her hips as she opens her mouth in silent request, and I take the moment to sit on the bed and turn my attention to her other nipple. I continue twisting it around, watching as it buds under my embrace, and take the other one in my mouth and suck. Hard.

"Oh, Christian", she moans and I smirk against her skin. I circle my tongue around and around on her nipple and switch to do the same movement to its twin. Ana moans loudly and lifts her body off the bed, her mouth slack and open in a wordless plea. _Yes, feel it baby._

"We'll have to teach you to keep still", I warn but I'm secretly enjoying the effect I have on her body. She's had the same effect on mind since she fell in my office.

I release her nipples and guide my tongue from the base at her throat, slowly heading toward my destination. Once I reach the apex of her thighs, I insert a finger and see that she's wet. Very wet.

"You never disappoint, Miss Steele", I remark in amused pleasure. I insert another finger and carefully start twisting them around, and she lifts her hips to meet my every movement. I'm about to warn her to keep still, but soon I notice her legs quivering and quickly remove my fingers as I do. _Not yet, baby. I'm not ready for you to come._

"Why did you stop?", she whines and I stifle my laughter at her pout.

"Because I want to make you come in a different way", I state and quickly turn her over before slapping her fine ass. She yelps in surprise and I waste no time in slamming into her. She cries out at my assault and I help her sit up straighter as I start up a steady pace. I wind her hair around my wrist and close my eyes as I continue to ram into her. Over. And over. And over. And over. She matches me thrust for thrust, meeting her hips with my own as I feel her walls tightening and a strangled cry from her face in the pillow. She's close.

"Come for me, baby. Come for me", I growl and soon, she calls out my name and I shout to the heavens as I climax around her.

 **We're lying face-to-face** in bed with her hand sitting carefully on my chest.

"So, you don't want to see her?", I ask and she avoids my gaze when I do.

"Christian, you know how I feel about her, so frankly this date doesn't sound like the best choice."

"She's just trying to make amends. That's all."

"Was she ever like this with your other submissives?"

"No. She's also never told me to stay away from one of them before."

"Why me, then?"

"Maybe because you left", I sigh.

 _Don't go there. Not now._

"If you don't want t see her, I'll tell her you're not interested."

"She cares for you", she says quietly.

"And I her." When will she realize this? She's a friend; nothing more.

"Did you ever want a real relationship with her? When you were together?" _What?_

"No, Anastasia, I never wanted her in that way. Only you."

"Not even close?"

"Once when I was fifteen but, it quickly went away when we started going further."

"What do you mean?" Sighing deeply, I give her the full details.

"Once I realized she wanted me as her submissive, I suddenly got worried she would touch me and almost backed out of our relationship."

"You did?"

"Even then, I couldn't bear to be touched. Not even with her and she promised not to do it."

"Did she ever, um, have a road-map like I do?"

"No. The road-map is for you", I smile and she smiles shyly in return.

"Will I ever be able to touch you everywhere? Past the lines, I mean?"

"Maybe someday. It's slowly getting easier."

"I'm glad to hear that. I like touching you", she states shyly.

"I think I like it, too. More than I ever thought possible."

"What do you feel when I touch you? You always seem so tense whenever I raise my hand or say what I want."

"More or less, I feel fear and darkness tightening around my soul and evidentially, it terrifies me that I have to step away."

"Because of what happened to you?"

"Yes. The crack whore's lover left an impact on me and according to Flynn, it traumatized me for life."

"Your therapist?"

"The very same."

"Could I ever meet him?"

"Do you want to meet him?"

"Maybe. He might give me some insight into you." _What? Where's she going at with this?_

"Don't I give you enough insight?"

"Of course you do. I'm just curious about his professional opinion."

"I see", I say and suddenly sit up.

"What's wrong?", Ana asks as I slip on my jeans. She's sitting on the bed, looking apprehensive.

"It's nothing. I have some calls to make. I won't be long", I remark and after giving her a quick kiss, head back to my office. Taylor suddenly emerges from it and stops when he sees me approaching him. _What? You've seen me without a shirt before._

"Mr. Grey", he addresses, recovering quickly.

"Taylor. Any news on Leila?"

"Nothing yet, but her family might have an idea on where she is." _What?_

"Where?"

"Detroit." My spirits drop at the mere mention of the name.

"I see", I retort. "Any idea why?"

"She said that's where she met her husband and apparently was hoping to find more information on you."

"Same with the files?"

"Apparently so."

"Has she done anything recently? Transactions? Purchases?"

"Nothing yet sir but once she does, you'll be the first to know."

"Okay. Good work. Is that all?"

"Your mother called you. She was wondering if she could speak to you for a moment."

"Okay, I'll get right on that. Thank you, Taylor."

"You're welcome, sir. Oh, Miss Steele's Beetle has been delivered to her apartment. The repairman said it's in perfect shape for driving." _Oh, I'd forgotten all about that._  
"Good. I'll be sure to tell Miss Steele. Please don't inform her because I want to tell her myself." _And hopefully she'll accept._ After her graduation, I'm sure she wouldn't hesitate.

"Will do, sir. Will that be all?"

"Yes. Just keep me up to date on Leila. The last thing we want is her causing more harm than she already has."

"Yes, sir. I'll be upstairs if you need me", he remarks before heading in that direction. Taking a deep breath, I head for my office and pick up my phone to call Grace.

"Darling, there you are", she answers on two rings.

"Mother. Do what do I owe this pleasure?"

"It's about your birthday, sweetheart. We were hoping you might wanna attend it this year." _Fuck. Not this again._

"Mom, you know I have no desire to celebrate it."

"I know, but Mia's arranged a big party for you and she'd be disappointed if you didn't show up at all." _It wouldn't be a first._

"I don't know, Mom. I haven't even told Ana about it."

"Why not?"

"Because she doesn't need to know."

"Oh, Christian, I'm sure she would love to celebrate your birthday with us. It would be your first date to your birthday party, you know." Just like my first date at the gala.

"I'll think about it. Anything else?"

"Just that Elena's seems more uptight recently. She said that her and Ana haven't gotten along since you arrived for dinner a few weeks ago." _Shit._ How do I tell her this?

"It was just a misunderstanding, is all. We're taking care of it, I promise."

"Is there something I should know?" _Trust me Mom, there's nothing you should know._

"Of course not. I have some work to do. Talk later?"

"Of course, dear. I love you."

"Love you too", I say and I can tell she's speechless.

"Mom?"

"Sorry. You know, I'm so glad you've met Ana, Christian. I haven't heard those words from you for a long time."

"Gotta go. Talk to you later", I reply before hanging up. Since when are three words such a big deal? The last time I said I loved her was when I was fifteen, just before Elena sunk her claws into me. Shaking my head at the thought, I pick up my phone and start to dial Welch, wondering how in the hell I'm supposed to tell Miss Steele about my birthday.


	14. Chapter Thirteen

**I wake up** on Christian's chest, watching it rise and fall with every breath. He's sound asleep and for the first time in a while, he looks peaceful and relaxed. It tugs at my heart and I could gaze at him all day. Cautiously, I reach across and touch his chest hair, careful not to wake him, and run my finger up and down his sternum. He murmurs something unintelligible and I freeze, afraid I've woken him but just like that, he falls back asleep. I sigh softly and continue my caress, gently running over his scars as my throat constricts.

 _"_ _They're cigarette burns. I was abused when I was little." Oh, Fifty._ Who could do this to a child? I cover my mouth with the back of my hand and force myself not to cry. Tentatively, I plant a kiss on one of his scars and check to make sure he's still asleep. He frowns but doesn't move. I plant another soft kiss on his chest and he frowns as if an unpleasant thought just entered his mind. Soon, he opens his eyes and blinks in the soft light, before falling on me and smiling softly.

"Good morning", he remarks sleepily.

"Good morning", I reply. _God, he's beautiful._

"Sleep well?", I ask.

"I always sleep well with you", he grins and before I know it, he kisses me tenderly and eases me on my back.

 **"** **You're becoming very aggressive, Miss Steele",** Christian smirks at me as I lie on his chest.

"You're one to talk, Mr. Grey", I smirk back.

"Are you scolding me, Miss Steele?"

"Never, Mr. Grey", I lie smoothly. "What are you gonna do about it?"

"I could do a million things to you, Miss Steele, but unfortunately we don't have the time to go through them all at the moment." _Oh my..._

"You could always spank me again", I whisper and his brows shoot up in surprise.

"Is that a request, Miss Steele?", he asks amused.

"Always, Mr. Grey."

"You are, as ever challenging, Miss Steele, but I recall you have work today with your boss", he says the last word in displeasure.

"I could call in sick", I say quietly.

"And miss an honest day's work?"

"Have you ever called in sick?"

"Only on my birthday a few years ago." _Whoa, his birthday._

"When is your birthday?"

"June 18", he shrugs. _Oh, so soon._

"When were you gonna tell me about your birthday?", I scold him gently.

"My arrival into the world isn't something I feel like celebrating."

"Why?" As I ask this, he looks slightly uncomfortable. _Oh no..._

"My birth mother died on my birthday", he regards me coolly, indicating that he doesn't wanna talk about it. _Oh, Fifty..._

"I'm sorry", I say quietly.

"It's in the past", he mumbles.

"Does that mean we can't celebrate it?"

"Do you want to?"

"Of course I do. I feel like celebrating."

"We could in a different way", he responds seductively. And just like that, our discussion is over.

 **We're in the** shower together and I'm secretly regretting meeting up with Jack.

"What is it?", Christian asks as he washes my hair and my shoulders tense.

"I wish I could stay in", I confess.

"Is it because of Jack?", he inquires suddenly.

"Of course not", I remark, although deep down I wonder if it's true. Why do I unexpectedly feel so nervous around him? He's my boss for God's sake.

"Has he tried anything?"

"Christian!"

"I'm just asking, baby. If he does, you let me know."

"Christian..."

"I mean it, Ana. One wrong move and he's out." _Jeez, he's so possessive._

"Yes, sir", I say, rolling my eyes.

"I can tell when you're rolling your eyes at me, Miss Steele."

"Lucky for me, I can't stay for my punishment. Can I wash you?"

"Only my hair. You have to get to work."

"Okay", I remark quietly before grabbing the shampoo and squirting some in my hands. I rub them together vigorously until they lather and motion for Christian to lower his head. He grins like a little schoolboy and I gently start massaging his scalp.

"Did your submissives ever wash your hair?", I inquire.

"No, they never had the chance", he responds and I smile at the thought.

"Have you ever been washed before?"

"Only from my birth mother before she died. Grace taught me how to do it myself sometime after I was adopted."

"Because she couldn't touch you?"

"She respected my boundaries. The only time she touched me was the time I had that nightmare. Since then, she hasn't touched me since."

"Do you still feel the darkness when I touch you?"

"Sometimes but I try to ignore it. I told you, it's getting easier over time. I just never thought it would happen."

"I'm sorry if it's too much for you", I say quietly as I finish with my task.

"Don't be. It's okay. I think I'm starting to like being touched. Especially by you", he smiles and I can tell that he means it. I smile shyly in return and lean up to kiss him on the lips.

 **I decide on a** silk gray blouse and dark skirt, complete with a pair of matching heels and dark pantyhose. _Yeah, that'll do._

"You look lovely", Christian remarks as he sits on the bed. I blush at his compliment and put my hair up in a ponytail.

"You don't look so bad yourself", I retort. He's wearing his dark suit pants and his white shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows and tucked into his pants. He looks hot.

"One of these days you'll learn to take a compliment", he says before standing from the bed and wrapping his arms around my waist. We stare at each other in the oversize mirror, blue eyes to gray and he kisses below my ear and I stifle my moan at his touch.

"Don't ever leave me", he says softly as he kisses my hair.

"I never will", I respond kindly, and he gives me his shy smile; my favorite smile in the world.

"Never?", he asks in a tone as if he's not telling me something.

"Of course", I say, furrowing my brows. _What does he want?_

"I mean it, Ana. Don't ever leave me."

"I never will, Christian. You have my word." When will he realize this? I said I'd never will.

"What time do you have to go in?", he suddenly asks, changing the subject.

"Um, Jack said to be in by ten."

"Do you want me to drive you, Miss Steele?"

"That would be great, Mr. Grey", I smile and kiss him sweetly.

"Finish getting ready. I'll call Taylor and we can leave in five."

 **A few minutes** later, we pull up outside a building I don't recognize and Taylor steps out to open my door for me.

"Thank you, Taylor", I say sweetly.

"My pleasure, Miss Steele", he smiles kindly as I give Christian a quick kiss on the lips.

"Laters, baby", I remark and after a final kiss, head inside to find Jack. I quickly scan the room and soon find Jack talking with some people. He looks up and sees me standing in the doorway before motioning for me to join him.

"Ana. I was worried you weren't coming in", he remarks as I approach him. His comment confuses me; I'm five minutes early.

"Hi, Jack. I didn't wanna be late", I remark professionally.

"Settling in okay with Christian?", he inquires as someone offers to take my coat.

"Um, yes, thank you. I faxed over those manuscripts to Liz like you wanted."

"Good. Any word yet?"

"It was too early for me to get a response, but she said that I might hear by her by tonight."

"Good. Looks like you're moving up. I'm proud of you, Ana", he says with a smile that doesn't match his eyes. I blush at his compliment and follow him in the room as the book expo begins. _Now I really wish I had stayed in with Christian._

 **Almost three hours later,** we finally head out and I immediately start getting a call on my phone.

"Your boyfriend?", Jack remarks disapprovingly—I think.

"Um, no. It's a number I don't recognize." _Who could be calling me at this time?_

"Take it. I have to make a few calls myself", Jack says, distracted, and I answer my phone once he's out of earshot.

"Ana Steele", I say.

"Ana, glad I could reach you", an achingly familiar voice responds.

"It's Elena", she continues. "I was hoping to speak with you." _Assumption confirmed._

"I'm really not interested in talking with you", I respond coldly.

"Ana, I know we've had our differences but I'm more than willing to let bygones be bygones."

"I'm glad to hear it." _Not really._

"Ana, I don't blame you for hating me, honestly, but if you let me talk with you , I might be able to tell you more about Christian." _I thought Christian talked with her already?_

"Why would I want to talk with you, Elena?"

"Ana, please just hear me out."

"What makes you think I'd ever be interested in anything you have to say?"

"There's something you need to know about Christian."

"I know enough."

"That's not what I meant."

"Elena, I'm already well aware and I don't need you to tell me what I know."

"Has he ever mentioned why he does what he does?"

"What do you mean?" _Where's she going at with this?_

"Please, just come to dinner with me and we can talk then. Are you coming to his birthday party?"

"I was hoping to."

"We could meet before then and I'll answer any questions you might have."

"Elena, I'm not really too interested in talking with you and nothing you say can make me change my mind."

"Ana..."

"Good day, Elena", I reply before hanging up. God, why won't that woman leave us alone?

"Everything okay?", Jack asks and I jump. _How long has he been standing there?_

"Fine. Wrong number", I lie and put the phone back in my purse. Jack furrows his brows but thankfully says nothing.

"You wanna go get a drink? I could take you back to Christian's when you're done."

"It's fine, Jack. Christian's picking me up." _And I suggest you keep your distance._

"It'll be quick. I promise", he retorts, hoping, I'm assuming, that I'll agree.

"Sure. But just one, please." If Christian comes, at least I'll be safe.

"Good", he grins and motions for me to follow him across the street.

 **We're at a** bar I've never heard of before and Jack hands me a beer.

"Everything going okay with you and Christian?", he asks as he takes a drink.

"Um, yeah we're doing fine." _Why am I telling him this? It's none of his business._

"You two seem to be doing okay with your relationship, then."

"We are. It's complicated but I've never been happier", I confess because it's the truth. 

"What do you mean by complicated?", Jack asks suddenly as he orders another beer. _When did he finish the last one?_

"Oh, um, it's just that we've been moving so fast that I'm not sure of the kind of future we're gonna have."

"What do you mean?"

"Um, we're just reaching new territory is all. I just feel like we have a lot to learn about each other. But, we're doing fine; honest."

"I see. Any regrets with where this is going?" _What?_

"What do you mean?"

"Ana, I heard that you started working for him a while back and the next thing you know, you're already dating your boss. Don't you think that's a little too forward for your first internship? I even heard you got fired because of it." _How does he know that?_

"Um, I'll admit it was sudden but I feel like we've come a long way since then."

"Is that so?", he grins and I stare down at the floor.

"I should go and wait for Christian. Thanks for the drink", I reply and quickly head out to get some fresh air. I look up and down the streets, silently willing Christian to hurry up. I then turn around to see Jack standing directly behind me. When did he get out?

"Is there something you need, Jack?", I ask as he steps a little closer.

"I would think you would've learned that by now", he slurs. _Holy cow, he's drunk._

"Jack, I need to wait for Christian."

"Ana, Ana, Ana. You really don't know what he's capable of, do you?" I know he'll kill you if you step any closer.

"Jack, please", I say as he reaches out and tucks my hair behind my ear. _Don't fucking touch me._

"You know, I always liked you the first time I saw you for that interview we had for SIP. I challenged Liz to hire you since you were inexperienced and the next thing I know, she's calling you for the job. If anything, I'm the reason you're there at all."

"I'm sure you are", I lie, hoping he doesn't notice. _Where are you, Christian?_

"And yet you had to be with that cockblocker, Christian Grey. Don't you realize he'll leave you when you don't give him what he wants?"

"What are you talking about? I already give him what he wants."

"And yet here you are, with me instead of him. Looks like after all this time, I finally got the upper hand." _Fuck you, Jack._

"Jack..."

"Plus", he whispers as he leans in my ear. "I can make you come, like nobody else can. Not him. Not anyone. Choose me, and you'll forget you ever met him. Nobody wants to be with a son of a bitch." I open my mouth to speak but before I can respond, he suddenly takes my head in his hands and before I know it, leans down and kisses me hard. I struggle to get out of his grasp and in a vain attempt to get him away, I bite down hard on his bottom lip and knee him in the crotch before pushing him to the ground.

"You stupid bitch!", he shouts as he holds himself in pain and I suddenly hear a car pull up behind me and turn to see Christian leaping out of the car. _Oh, thank God._ _He's here._

"Get the fuck away from her, you asshole!", he shouts and soon Taylor joins him as well.

"Christian, don't", I beg. He's going to kill him; I know it.

"What the fuck did he do to you?", he yells as Jack attempts to stand to his feet.

"Looks like the hero cares about you after all", he sneers when he stands and before I know it, Christian punches him in the face and Jack staggers back as blood drips from his face.

"You're done at SIP, Hyde. You hear me? Done!", Christian yells as Jack tries to stop the bleeding in its tracks.

"Fuck you, Christian. You can keep the whore. She won't work another day at SIP for the rest of her life", Jack retorts and before Christian can strike again, I pull him with all my might and Taylor motions for us to get in the car. Christian barely moves and I try to pull him again.

"Christian, please", I beg and after one final glare at Jack, we enter the car and Taylor drives off.

"Back to my place. We're going back to Seattle", he orders to Taylor.

"Right away, sir", Taylor replies and starts to speed up.

"Did he hurt you?", Christian asks immediately as he starts looking me over.

"I'm fine", I say as the tears start to fall. Even when he's angry, I'm so happy to see him.

"Ana, don't cry. Please", Christian says gently as he holds me in his arms. After a few minutes, I feel him pull out his phone and dial someone before speaking.

"Roach, I want Hyde out. He attacked my girlfriend and I want him out of SIP...Yes and cancel his flight plans so he can't return home...That's fine. Let me know how it goes", he says before quickly hanging up.

"I thought your pitch with SIP hadn't been finished yet."

"It's not but after telling Mr. Roach about Jack, I told him to keep an eye out. I was hoping to keep you safe", he shrugs apologetically.

"I'm sorry", I repeat over and over as Christian holds me closer.

"Shh, it's okay. You're safe. Just tell me what he did." I wipe my nose with the back of my hand and take a deep breath before I tell him.

"We finished with the expo and I got a call from Elena asking to meet up."

"What?"

"I told her I wasn't interested and Jack asked if we could get a drink. I knew you were on your way and could be there if I needed you, and..." _Shit, what am I supposed to say next?_

"Tell me, Ana", Christian urges, trying hard to keep his tempter under control.

"He kissed me and I...bit him." I feel Christian tense beneath me and worry that I've said too much. _Please don't be mad. Please._

"You bit him?", Christian asks after a while and for a second I think he's amused.

"And kneed him in the crotch. That's why he was lying on the sidewalk when you showed up", I say, suddenly feeling guilty. I've never hit anyone in my life and it was on my own boss. How did I not see this coming?

"Fuck", he whispers and I continue to wipe away my tears.

"Oh, Ana, don't cry. I'm not mad at you."

"I should've listened to you. He's never tried this before and I tried turning down his drink offer, but since you were coming..."

"Hush, it's okay. I'm here. I've got you", he says softly as he kisses my hair and I hug him even tighter, careful not to touch the forbidden areas.

"When I saw him, I thought...", Christian says quietly.

"Shh, I'm fine. When will you realize I'm a lot stronger than I look?"

"That you are", he smiles wistfully before giving me a tender kiss on the lips.

"Don't ever leave me", he whispers.

"I promise I won't. When will you realize that I'm never leaving no matter what?"

"Even if I gave you a key?", he asks suddenly. _What?_

"Are you asking me to move in with you?"

"Mm-hmm", he nods. Is he serious?

"Are you sure?", I stutter.

"Yes. I want to see you all the time. That way I can protect you."

"Christian, I don't..." _Shit, how do I answer to that?_

"You can think about it if you want. I know it's a little sudden."

"Just a little bit", I whisper and he chuckles in response. He kisses me again and I melt against his mouth.

"Are you sure you're okay? If something happened to you..."

"Nothing's gonna happen to me. I've got you", I smile shyly and he does the same. I rest my head against his chest, grateful that he came when he did. As he holds me, I think back to his request. _He's seriously asking me to move in with him?_ We haven't known each other for long and he's asking me to move in! Fuck, what am I supposed to say to Kate?


	15. Chapter Fourteen

**We're almost to Seattle** and a million different thoughts are racing through my mind. Christian was right, as always, about Jack. Why didn't I see this? Jack's never even come close to being this way and then all of a sudden, he comes onto me while drunk. Shit. How I did I not see this?

And then there's Elena. Why the hell would she think that I would ever wanna see her? And what could she possibly have to tell me about Christian? I already know everything I need to know about him. Fuck, do I? What does she think is so important for me to know? Is she lying? Is she jealous? Fuck, why don't I know this?

"What's wrong?", Christian asks when he notices my expression.

"Didn't you say you were going to talk to Elena?", I blurt and Christian furrows his brows at my question.

"I already did, Anastasia. Why do you ask?"

"She called me in New York."

"What did she want?", he says as he clenches his jaw.

"Same thing. She wants to meet up with me."  
"God, she never takes no for an answer."

"She said she had something she wanted to tell me...about you." As I say this, he suddenly looks worried.

"Did she say what it was?", he whispers.

"No, but I told her I wasn't interested."

"I have no idea why she's acting this way. Apparently she doesn't trust you."

"She seems eager to keep me away from you", I mumble.

"Ana, she's the reason why I saw you in Georgia."

"And what about after that?"

"Ana, let's just drop it for now."

"What does she want to tell me?"

"Ana, I said that's enough", he almost shouts and I suddenly scoot away closer to the window, gazing out of it as I do. I hear Christian take a deep breath and then hear him slowly slide over to me and gently take my hand.

"I'm sorry. I'm just not used to this is all", he says softly. I chance a look at him and can tell he's a lot calmer.

"Me, neither", I reply because it's the truth. What the hell do I know about relationships?

"What else did Elena say?", he inquires suddenly. _Whoa, change of direction._

"She asked me if I know why you do what you do", I whisper and once again, Christian seems tense. _Why? What isn't he telling me?_

Just then, the pilot announces we've arrived back to Seattle and Christian gently kisses my knuckles in turn.

"We're home", he smiles and just like that, our conversation is over.

 **We follow Taylor** to a car parked on the tarmac and Christian opens my door allowing me to enter first.

"I have a surprise for you", he says once we pull out. _Oh?_

"What is it?" He touches his nose and winks and I resist the urge to roll my eyes at him. _Bastard._

I gaze out the window, avoiding his gaze, silently grateful to be back home.

 **I see my apartment** in the distance and Christian suddenly places his hands over my eyes.

"What are you doing?"

"It's a surprise", he responds and he sounds like a little boy. _What is he up to?_

Before I can dwell on it further, I feel the car slowly stop and Taylor opens the door as Christian and me exit, his hands still over my eyes and helping me outside.

"What's going on?", I question, giggling.

"See for yourself", he remarks and removes his hands as I blink in the light. My jaw drops when I see Wanda, my old Beetle, sitting perfectly by the sidewalk in front of my apartment. What the...?

"You got her back for me?", I ask in disbelief. I can hardly believe it.

"A repairman fixed her up and now she's safer than she was when you first owned her", Christian replies, shrugging. Before I can stop myself, I throw myself at him and hug him tight before bringing his lips down to mine and kissing him deeply, fully aware that Taylor's nearby.

"Thank you", I smile and Christian looks relieved.

"We aim to please, Miss Steele."

"Can I drive her to work tomorrow?" _If I still have a job, that is._ The thought depresses me.

"Of course. If it makes you happy", he grins but frowns when he notices my expression.

"What is it, Ana?"

"Will I still have a job now that Jack's not there?" Christian regards me curiously as if I've just suggested going to the moon for vacation.

"If you don't, you could always...", he starts and I immediately know where he's going with this.

"Christian, you know I love working. You can't keep me locked up in your penthouse, even if I do move in with you."

"I could keep you safe", he explains softly.

"Christian, I'm always safe when I'm with you. But I already told you that I love working and don't want your money. If I can't work there or anywhere else, then I'll lose my mind. I work because love my job." He sighs deeply before giving a response. .

"I'll make sure you have a job. I promise", he says.

"I don't want you interfering in my career, Christian. I can do this myself. Jack's gone, so you don't have to worry about anything."

"It's not about that. If they fire you, they'll take it up with me."

"Then where would I go?"

"You could work for me again", he smirks.

"Yes, because that worked out so well in the past", I remark, trying to scold him but failing miserably.

"I assure you, Miss Steele, that you won't lose your job at SIP. I won't allow it and we'll see what they have to say."

"Okay", I reply and kiss him again.

"Good surprise?"

"Very. I've missed her."

"Good. I can have her delivered to Escala if you want to come."

"Of course, Mr. Grey. I'd be honored", I reply and he takes my hand and leads me back to the car. Wanda. He gave me back this can work out after all.

 **We enter the** elevator at Escala hand-in-hand and I continue contemplating on moving in here with Christian. I've never lived with anyone but Kate but Christian? What would that be like? Would we be living as boyfriend and girlfriend or, um, a Dom and a sub? And would we ever visit the Red Room again? God, this is so confusing.

"Don't overthink it, Anastasia", Christian says suddenly, causing me to look at him. Shit, he can still read my mind.

"Overthink what?", I reply, feigning innocence.

"Moving in with me. Please, don't overthink it."

"Are you sure you want me to move in with you? We haven't been together for very long."

"It isn't like that to me. I want you here all the time."

"Like when I was almost your submissive?', I ask, arching my brow.

"Partially, but I prefer you as my girlfriend, which is one of the reasons why I gave you back your car."

"I still can't believe you did that for me."

"I would do anything for you, Anastasia. I want to give you the world."

"You already have me, Christian. I don't care about the baggage."

"Baggage, eh?", he teases and I roll my eyes in response.

"You know what I meant."

"Did you just roll your eyes at me?"

"Maybe. What are you gonna do about it?"

"As tempting as you are, Miss Steele, I have some work to do so I'll have to take a rain check for now." _Oh._

"Can I look around the house?", I ask out loud, causing Christian to furrow his brows at my request.

"Of course. I won't be long", he smiles before taking my hand and kissing it gently, just before the doors open to Escala. He kisses me quickly and says hi to Gail before heading for his office and leaving me in the foyer.

"Hi, Gail", I say as I enter the room.

"Welcome back, Miss Steele, er, Ana. Can I get you anything to eat?"

"No, thank you. I would rather wait for Christian."

"As you wish Miss... Ana. I'll be in the kitchen if you need me", she smiles warmly before leaving me on my own. I look around the great room, thinking about what it'd be like to live here. What would it be like? If I was Christian's submissive, I would only be here on the weekends, but he's asking me to live here full time and share his life with him. Could I live like that? Would it even last? I shudder when I think about it.

 _Don't go there, Ana. He loves you._

Shaking my head at the thought, I walk through the great room before stopping outside what looks like a library. Curiously, I enter the room and notice shelves full of books and a large billiard table in the center of the room. José taught me pool when I first met him in college and while I'm not an expert, I think I'm pretty good. I notice Christian's office beside the library but he's not there. _Weird. I thought he would be._ On impulse, I decide to set up the balls and play a little until he's ready. I move the balls around on the table until the white ball is where I want it to be and lift the triangle holding them together and set it to the side. I then walk over to a rack of cues and pick the one that looks the right height for me and find a piece of chalk and rub it across the tip. I blow off the excess dust and walk back to the table, thinking hard about my first move. I set up the shot and concentrate on where I want the ball to go, then hit the ball hard so it falls in the left corner pocket on the other side of the table. _Hmm, solids._

I walk over to where the white ball is and line it up for the side pocket on the right. I set up the cue and focus on my destination, before hitting the ball smoothly into the pocket. I then have the feeling that someone's watching me and look up to see Christian gazing at me intently in the doorway to the room. I gasp when I see him and he smirks in return.

"Miss Steele. I was wondering where you were."

"Um, I hope I'm not intruding", I stutter. Will I ever get used to seeing him like this?

"Not at all, Miss Steele. I'm surprised I haven't shown this room before", he says before walking into the room and closing the door behind him. I feel my breath hitching as he walks over to the side of the table and stares at the balls.

"I didn't know you could play", he remarks in amazed amusement.

"José taught me", I say quietly.

"Are you any good?"

"Hmm, we'll see", I remark coquettishly and he looks at me in surprise.

"You wanna play?", I ask.

"Only if you're not a sore loser", he retorts as he goes to pick up a cue.

"That depends on how hard you spank me", I state and he stops in his tracks.

"You want me to spank you?", he asks as he blows off the dust from his cue.

"Always, Mr. Grey, but maybe we should raise the stakes."

"How so?"

"Make a bet. If I win, you take me back to the Play Room." His mouth pops open at my request. I don't think I'll ever get used to shocking him like this.

"And if I win?"

"Your choice", I respond before deliberately biting my bottom lip.

"Then, break", he orders and after a quick glance, I set up my shot again and effortlessly hit my next ball in the upper right corner. I sashay over to Christian and start setting up my next shot, while deliberately rubbing my backside against his thigh. I hear him groan behind me and as I start thinking about my next shot, I feel him slowly raise his hand up my skirt and gasp as his fingers gently tease my inner thigh. I take a deep breath and clear my throat and hit the ball, just to watch it bounce right off the side. _Shit._

"Oh, dear", Christian says as takes the white ball and sets it beside a striped one. He looks up at me and smirks before kissing the ball with his cue, which falls smoothly into a corner pocket. He saunters over to me and starts setting up his next shot, and I feel as if my body is radiating from his closeness. He fluently hits another ball into a pocket and looks quite pleased as he does. How the hell does he turn me on like this?

I watch as he then starts setting up to hit a striped ball at a far corner, but misses instead, causing it to hit the side. I giggle at the sight and quickly take my turn, not hesitating to touch him every chance I get, just like for when he was first in my apartment. I brush my behind against his hand and I can tell he's watching me as I do. I hit the next two balls into their holes but miss the third one and groan as I do.

"Be careful, Miss Steele, or I might have to spank you if you lose", Christian says seductively and I gasp as he does.

"I'm hoping I'll win. I wanna go to the Red Room and then you can spank me all you want."

"If I didn't know any better, Miss Steele, I'd say you miss the Red Room."

"I do, Christian. Can we ever go back?"

"We did when I showed you how to use the spreader bar."

"But we didn't stay in there."

"Ana, as much as I'd like to revisit the Play Room, I'm not ready, at least not yet. I couldn't bear it if you left me again."

"I won't leave you, Christian. Why do you keep insisting that I will? You've already asked me to move in with you."

"But you haven't given me an answer."

"That doesn't mean I won't", I confess. The thought of my life without Christian is...insufferable.

"I know. Just give me time, okay? Let's learn to walk before we run."

"I really wanna see Dr. Flynn about this", I whisper.

"You want to meet him?", Christian asks surprised.

"Er, maybe. Just to learn more about you."

"I think you know me well enough, in more ways than one", he smirks and I squirm at his gaze.

"Yes, I think I do", I whisper as I bite my bottom lip.

"Stop biting your lip. You know what that does to me", he warns but I can tell he's amused.

"Maybe you should just punish me right now, since I obviously deserve it", I suggest and bite my lip again. Christian tries to look appalled but before I know it, he drops his cue and walks over to me, with clear determination in his eyes. He closes the space between us until I'm back against the billiard table, breathing heavily as I do.

"I wanna be very rough with you", he whispers.

"So be rough with me", I respond and before I know it, he spins me around and gently pushes me on the table before moving my hair away from my face. He then reaches under my skirt and quickly pulls my panties down so I'm naked below my waist. He gently rubs his hand over my backside before slipping a finger inside me, causing me to gasp.

"You're very wet, Miss Steele", he says in obvious appreciation. "What should I do about that?", he asks before slipping in another finger, making me groan. He circles me, stretching me further, and all to soon he removes them and licks the remains off his fingers.

"Hmm, you taste mighty fine, Miss Steele", he remarks but before I can respond, he suddenly spanks me and pushes me on the table with his movement. I moan at the feel and he soon does it again. And again. And again.

"Fuck, Ana", he breathes and I soon hear the familiar sound of his zipper and tear of a foil packet before sliding it on his length. He then slowly enters me, causing me to moan, and soon works up a steady pace and rocks me against the billiard.

"Come for me, Ana. I want you to come", he growls and I can tell he's close. I bite my lip again but as soon as I do, my legs start to quiver and before I can stop myself, I scream as my climax rips through me and Christian calls out my name before collapsing on my back, breathing hard.

"I love you, Ana. Don't ever leave me", he pants.

"I love you, too. I'll never leave", I whisper and can hear Christian breathe a sigh of relief. He kisses my shoulder and gently pulls out of me and helps me to my feet. He removes the condom and knots it before putting it in his pocket and zipping up his fly. He then turns me to face him and kisses me, hard, tangling his tongue with my own. I moan into his mouth and twist my fingers in his hair, giving all that I can give to the only man I've ever loved. When he pulls away, he kisses my forehead and bends down to hand me my panties, which I gladly accept.

"When was the last time you ate?", he asks suddenly.

"Um, before we left for Seattle", I confess.

"Come. I'll have Mrs. Jones prepare something", he says but I can tell he's not mad. He kisses me quickly before exiting the room. After recovering my equilibrium, I pick up our cues and put them back where they belong, and then move to the table and rearrange the balls. I leave the library and enter the great room, where Christian's talking with Taylor, who looks visibly upset. _What's wrong?_

"What is she doing here?", Christian asks Taylor, trying hard to control his temper.

"Apparently she wants to see Miss Steele", Taylor responds, equally upset. _See me? Who wants to see me?_

"Christian?", I ask quietly and Christian turns to see me standing awkwardly in the great room. He excuses himself and walks over until he closes the space.

"Elena's here to see you", he says and I think I've stopped breathing.  
"Why?" _What the hell does she want?_

"She wants to talk about me", he says simply and I feel my blood run cold. _What the fuck does that woman want?_


	16. Chapter Fifteen

**"** **Elena, what are you doing here?",** Christian asks as he holds me close.

"I just wanted to talk with Ana", she answers calmly. God, why can't she just leave us alone?

"Elena, I have no interest in talking to you right now." _Or ever._

"Ana, he's not the man for you", she blurts out. _What?_

"Elena, you don't know what's right for me", Christian interjects.

"Need I remind you of the kind of relationship we had?", she hisses.

"That's in the past, Elena. Ana is my future." _Future!_

"Ana, please let me talk to you. It's urgent", Elena begs but before either of us can respond, Christian's cell starts ringing and he clenches his jaw when he sees the caller ID. Who is it?

"Take it. I'll just see Elena out", I say as gently as I can and when Christian opens his mouth to speak, I hold up my hand, stopping him before he can.

"I'll be in my office", he growls and with one final glare at Elena, stalks off, leaving us alone. Taking a deep breath, I turn to Elena, my inner bitch in full swing.

"Elena, I don't know what's going on in that twisted mind of yours, but nothing you say can change the way I feel about Christian. I love him and he loves me, and I would appreciate you backing off from our relationship when frankly, it's none of your goddamn business what we do or don't do."

"Ana...", she starts and I hold up my hand.

"I'm not done. Christian has already told me everything I want to know and I haven't kept any secrets from him. I love him, Elena, and nothing you say can make me change my mind."

"And what about his needs?", Elena asks suddenly. _Needs?_

"I already know he has needs, but it's not what he wants anymore."

"And did he tell you why he has them?"

"Why should he?"

"Ana, he's not the man you think he is. If you only knew why he was a Dominant, you wouldn't..."

"I already know he's a Dominant and it's because a bitch like you decided to take advantage of a fifteen-year-old boy", I interject and Elena's mouth pops open when I do.

"Do you really think he cares about you at all?", she yells. "Once you see the darkness, you'll never find the light."

"Elena, I know him a lot better than you do and at least I didn't teach him how to fuck the way you did. How the hell could you know him at all?", I shout and before I know it, she immediately slaps me across my cheek and before I can react, I hear rapid footsteps behind me and instantly know it's Christian before he shoves Elena away and takes me in his arms.

"Get the fuck out, Elena!", he snarls, surprising me. "You're no longer welcome here."

"Christian, if you don't tell her your secret, then I'll make sure she finds out."

"It's not your place to say, Elena, and leave her the hell alone", he yells and after one more look at me, Elena quickly turns on her heel and storms out of the room, leaving me and Christian alone.

"Are you okay?", he asks once she's gone.

"I'm fine. It didn't hurt", I say as I gently rub my cheek. It's a little tender but she didn't slap me that hard.

"I'm so sorry", Christian remarks quietly and before I know it, he gently kisses my cheek and holds me close against his chest, wrapping his arms around me and squeezing tight.

"Has she ever been like this with your...um, submissives?", I inquire tentatively.

"Never and she's never hit them, either. I don't know what's got into her. I'm sorry that she hit you."

"It wouldn't be the first", I whisper and Christian immediately tenses when I do. _Shit, I went too far._

"Christian, it's okay", I say softly as I caress his face. "I asked for it after all."

"I should've never done that", he whispers and my heart lurches in my throat. _Oh, Fifty..._

"Would I be here if you hadn't?", I smile and he smiles shyly in return; my favorite smile in the world.

"I'll never see her again. You have my word", he says suddenly and it takes a moment for me to process what he's talking about.

"But your business..."

"She can find someone else to help her. There's no excuse for what she did."

"But...", I start before hearing my own phone going off and after excusing myself, I check to see who it is; it's Liz.

"I'll be right back", I tell Christian and after a deep breath, I enter his bedroom before taking the call.

"Hi, Liz", I answer.

"Ana, could you come down to SIP for a minute? I need to talk to you about your job." _Oh no..._

"Is it serious?" _Are they firing me?_

"Just come down, please. I'll talk to you then", she replies before hanging up.

"Everything okay?", Christian asks, making me jump.

"I have to go to SIP." His expression tells me all I need to know.

"You want me to take you?"

"Thank you but, I'd like to take myself. I have Wanda to assist me", I smile sweetly and he grins in response.

"Okay. Text me when you're done", he says before entering the room and planting a tender kiss on my lips.

"I will. Laters, baby", I quip and before he can respond, I head for the great room and grab my keys before heading for the elevator.

 **I find a parking** **spot** near the entrance and after saying a quick prayer, lock Wanda and quickly head inside. Does Liz know about Jack? Am I being replaced? Shit, where would I work?

 _You could work for Christian,_ my subconscious remarks but I ignore her, remembering what happened the last time Christian was my boss.

 _"_ _Technically I'll be your boss's boss's boss",_ Christian's words ring in my ear and I giggle at the thought. The elevator dings, announcing my arrival, and I step out and take a good look around SIP, in case I never see it again.

"Ana", Hannah exclaims as I approach her desk.

"Hi, Hannah. Where's Liz?"

"In her office. Is something wrong?"

"No, I'm fine. I'll see you later, okay?", I say, hoping it's the truth. Hannah smiles as I walk to Liz's office and after a moment, I knock tentatively and once she calls out, I quickly enter the room.

"Hi, Liz", I reply when I close the door.

"Ana. Please come in and take a seat", she responds and I do as I'm told.

"I don't know if you heard but Jack resigned from SIP." _That's a nice way of putting it._ "Apparently his flight was cancelled so he couldn't come back home."

"I know. Christian, um, Mr. Grey told me about it." Will I ever get used to him owning the company?

"Well, in that case, could you please fill in for him in the meeting this afternoon?"

"At the senior editor's meeting?" _Is that the emergency?_

"You'll have to. You're the only one who knows Jack's entire slate."

"I know, I just...", I stutter. I've been in meetings before but never had to fill in for anyone. Could I do this?

"I know it sounds like a bit much, but it would really be a big help", Liz responds kindly, waiting for my reply.

"Um..." _Shit, what do I say to that?_

"You're right, it's too much", she says as she starts stacking some papers on her desk.

"No, I can do it", I retort, causing her to look at me.

"Really?" She sounds surprised.

"It's fine, I can do it."

"Well, good", she remarks before picking up the papers and handing them over to me.

"Call me when you're done", she states before getting up to hold open the door for me. _Holy cow, I'm actually doing this. I'm filling in for Jack._

 **"** **And that's why I think we should pull back on the release date",** Willis, one of the executives offers in the meeting.

"Willis, Jack said he's promising", Polly, another executive, chimes in.

"I don't care. Boyce Fox has been dropping slightly and I really don't think our readers need a novel from some online hits." Holy cow, they're talking about Boyce Fox.

"I think he could work", I mutter under my breath and look up to see everyone staring at me. _Oh no..._

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean..."

"Ana, do you think we have a shot at Boyce Fox?", Jerry enquires in my direction.

"Um, I think so. I mean, he's gotten more hits over the last few months and I really think he could help the company out."

"And what about our established authors?", Willis asks, arching his brow.

"We could still keep them but I think Fox has the potential that our readers are looking for."

"What do you mean?", Kelly, a CEO, asks.

"Well, it's like what Mr. Roach said when he stated that political thrillers aren't on everyone's agenda. From what I've read, we mostly come across romances and horror novels, which obviously can grow old pretty fast."

"But they're what the readers want", Willis interjects, challenging me.

"If a single artist wrote the same thing with every new release, then what could be so interesting about what they have to offer?", I inquire and a few of the board member murmur in agreement. "If we want to be a thriving company that pushes the boundaries, then maybe we should take risks and allow our readers to decide what they want and if they reject it, we go back to the drawing board. Like I said, Boyce has gotten a lot of attention over the past few months and his fans are clamoring for more, so if we listen to them and give the public what they wanted, then I think this company has a real chance of surviving. It would definitely make us different from our competitors."

"Could online hits translate to print sales?", Kelly asks me.

"They could. Boyce' audience is an eighteen to twenty-four demographic and those are exactly the readers that we should be chasing. It's risky but I think he can be worth it. If we want those numbers, we have to listen to the public, not to ourselves." As I finish, everyone starts whispering and talking quietly amongst each other and Willis still feels a little reluctant to agree. Finally, Jerry gets the attention of the room and we all look at him, waiting for him to speak.

"Ana, I think you have a point and maybe, we should take a look at Boyce", he says to me before turning his attention to Willis. Willis sighs and after a moment, nods his head in agreement and everyone joins in. _Wow, that was quick._

"Ana, since you're so certain about Boyce Fox for our company, why don't you run the campaign and help get him on his feet", Jerry says, taking me by surprise.

"Mr. Roach, that's not..."

"It's Jerry and I think you can handle it", he smiles kindly before continuing. "Come see me in my office and we'll talk about it then", he states before excusing everyone and we file out of the room.

 **I'm about to enter Jerry's** office when I hear something behind me and turn around to see Willis approaching me.

"Ana", he greets and I nod in response.

"I'm sorry for being out of line in there but I really do think that you're the one with potential." _Oh, what am I supposed to say to that?_

"Um, thank you", I stutter and for the first time since our meeting, I actually see him smile.

"Keep up the good work. You had a great idea", he says but before I can answer, he turns on his heel and walks back to his desk. _Potential? Me? I don't have potential._ Before I can ponder it any further, I enter Jerry's office to talk about the campaign.

 **Half an hour later,** I exit from Jerry's office and he closes the door behind me as I head back to my desk.

"Ana, what're you doing now that Jack Hyde's away?", he asks suddenly when I approach my desk.

"Um, I wasn't exactly sure yet." _Or if I still had a job._

"Well, how'd you like to fill in for Jack temporarily? Just until we find a new position for you." _What?_

"Um..."

"Don't worry, you'll be fine. Be sure to clean out your desk and move in when you have the time", he says and walks away before I make my response. _They're giving me Jack's job? But I'm not qualified for this._

I glance at Jack's office and after setting down my laptop, I check the door and sure enough, it's unlocked. I turn the handle and enter, remembering the last time I was in here, when I told him about New York. They seriously want me to move in here? I was only Jack's assistant that he tried to seduce when we were back in New York. Did he ever get home? Does Christian know if he did?

Just then, my phone vibrates and I see that I have a new text from Christian.

 _Do you still have a job?_

I hold my breath and give my response.

 _Kinda? They gave me Jack's job temporarily._

After a few moments, he replies back.

 _Congratulations, Miss Steele. We should celebrate._

I would much rather celebrate in the Red Room.

Smiling, I type up my response.

 _Is that an offer, Mr. Grey?_

 _Absolutely, Miss Steele. We could go on a date. ;)_

Blushing, I remember the last time we went on a date. It was when we were discussing the contract and after giving me a sweetener, we went to a restaurant and had some fun in a private room. _Yeah, that was fun._ Grinning like a fool, I send him my reply.

 _Sounds good, Mr. Grey. Hopefully we can have some more privacy. ;)_

After a moment, he replies.

 _Miss Steele, I look forward to it._

 _Oh my. How does he do that with seven little words?_ Checking my equilibrium, I head out of Jack's— _my_ —office and start setting up. As I do, a sudden thoughts invades my mind. _Did Christian have anything to do with this?_


	17. Chapter Sixteen

**Christian's POV**

 **I'm driving with Taylor to SIP,** anxiously awaiting seeing Ana after her news. Even though she hasn't been there for very long, there's no doubt in my mind that she can go very far, especially considering the sleaze ball is no longer her boss. I clench my fists at the memory, trying hard to regain my temper. How the hell did he think he could get away with this? Thankfully, I arrived when I did.

 _When will you realize I'm a lot stronger than I look?,_ Ana's words ring in my head.

Sighing deeply, I try to erase my thoughts as we pull up to SIP, just as Ana walks out the front door and heads for the car. _God, she looks lovely._

Taylor goes to open the door for her and within a few moments, she's sitting right beside me.

"Hi", she says sweetly.

"Hi", I reply, taking her hand in mine and softly kissing her knuckles in turn.

"How was your day?"

"Just fine, thank you. I wasn't expecting to get a promotion in this way."

"You've earned it. I'm sure you'll do well", I say proudly but as I do, she stares nervously at her lap, completing avoiding my gaze. _What isn't she telling me?_

"Is something wrong?", I ask concerned as I release her hand. She bites her bottom lip and I resist the urge to touch her.

"Ana, talk to me", I coax gently and after a while, she meets my gaze and takes a deep breath.

"Christian, did you have anything to do with this?" _What?_ _Why the hell would she think that?_

"To do with your promotion?" _I can't believe I'm hearing this._

Embarrassed, she looks away and I sigh deeply before reaching for her hand.

"Please talk to me, Anastasia", I coax again and soon, she turns to face me again.

"Why do you doubt yourself? You earned that promotion."

"But you own the company."

"Ana, that has nothing to do with this. You got this through hard work and dedication. Something that Jack Hyde could never hope to accomplish."

"What do you mean?"

"Ana, he's been fired three times in the last year for being lazy at his job. It's a miracle he's been an editor for so long."

"How do you know this?"

"I've been keeping a file on him ever since you started."

"Oh, of course you do", she says sarcastically and I can tell she's rolling her eyes.

"I know when you're rolling your eyes at me, Miss Steele."

"Well, then what are you gonna do about it, Mr. Grey?", she asks as she deliberately bites her lower lip.

"Trust me, you're going to find out tonight", I smirk before taking her hand and giving it a tender kiss. She gasps at my gesture and I take the opportunity to put her hand on my lap, before slowing moving it over to my growing erection.

"I'm so happy you're wearing a skirt", I murmur. Ana flexes her fingers on my lap and bites her lip as I groan in response. If only she knew what I had planned for tonight.

 **We pull up outside** the same restaurant where we had our first real date, and memories from before start flooding my mind.

"I remember the last time we were here", Ana remarks, interrupting my thoughts.

"Lucky for you, I already have a room booked."

"Is it gonna be private?"

"Is that an offer, Miss Steele?"

"Always, Mr. Grey."

"It's always gonna be private. If I remember correctly, I think we enjoyed our last date", I grin wolfishly as I open the door and motion for her to enter. She steps ahead of me and I take a moment to admire her fine ass. I wave to the maître d and lead Ana upstairs just before the waiter meets us at the top.

"Welcome back, Mr. Grey. Can I get you anything to drink?"

"Champagne, please. We're celebrating a promotion."

"Very good, sir. I'll be right back with your drinks", he grins before glancing at Anastasia and heading down the stairs.

"Come", I order, ignoring the waiter's prying eyes, and lead Ana to a table right at the end of the room. I pull out her chair for her and once she's seated, take the seat across from her.

"Do you wish to order the meal?"

"Christian, as this isn't a date, I'm just anxious to get home." _Oh?_

"And why is that?"

"Because I was hoping to take this celebration home", she remarks, gazing up at me through her lashes and biting her lip again.

"Miss Steele, I believe you're insatiable."

"Mr. Grey, you have no idea."

Before I can respond, the waiter soon returns with our glasses and I wave my arm, motioning for him to leave. Once he's gone, I raise my glass to Ana.

"Congratulations to SIP's new Fiction Editor, Miss Anastasia Steele." She smiles shyly as she raises her glass to mine and we both take a sip.

"It's just temporary", she mumbles.

"At the rate you're going, it won't be for long."

"Was it like this for you when you started GEH?"

"Honestly, it took over a year. I knew what I wanted but even with Elena, I had to prove my worth."

"Are you ever gonna see her again?"

"After what she did to you, I'm not sure that I will."

"Why don't you like me talking about her?" _What? When did I ever say that?_

"I don't mind if you talk about her, Anastasia, but I just wish it was under better circumstances."

"Considering that she slapped me and gripped my arm at the ball?"  
"Mostly, yes", I remark, clenching my teeth as I do.

"Why do you think she's determined to tear us apart?"

"Honestly, I wish I knew", I sigh.

"Is she jealous of me?"

"If she is, then it would be a first."

"What about Leila?" _What?_

"What about her?"

"Did she ever meet Elena?"

"No. I asked Leila to be my submissive on my own but before her, Elena recommended my submissives."

"Why did you ask me to be your submissive? Since I was inexperienced?"

"I told you, I was incapable of leaving you alone. If I had known you were a virgin, I wouldn't have considered it at all."

"Why was me being a virgin such a big deal for you?"

"Because all my submissives were experienced in some way. Not just in sex, but also in the lifestyle."

"If I had been experienced, would it have been different?"

"No. It wouldn't."

"Why?"

"Because then I wouldn't have all these firsts with you", I smile and she smiles shyly in return.

"I asked you a question the other day and you haven't given me a reply."

"What question?"

"About asking you to move in with me."

"Oh. Um, I'm still thinking about it, to be honest", she says nervously. _Is she telling me no?_

"Ana, do you not wanna move in with me?"

"What? No, it's not that. I just need to talk to Kate and see if it's alright."

"When is she due back from Barbados?"

"Hopefully by next week. I really miss her, to be honest."

"I'm sure she misses you, too. Her and Elliot seem to be getting along rather well."

"Has he ever been with someone for this long?"

"Honestly, all his girlfriends have only lasted for a few months."

"Should Kate be worried?"

"No, that's not what I meant. He just hasn't found the right girl yet and I've never seen him this way with anyone but Kate."

"Same with you and your girlfriends?"

"I've never had a girlfriend. I've only had you."

"Not even in college?"

"No. I was too busy with Elena", I remark as I shift uncomfortably in my seat. Ana takes the hint and has another sip of champagne.

"Um, can we go home after this? I wanna celebrate another way." _Oh, Miss Steele is a carnal creature._

"And how do you want to celebrate?", I smirk as I take a sip myself.

"Um, maybe in the Red Room?"

"Ana, I don't wanna celebrate in there."

"In your room then?"

"If that's what you want." As I say this, she takes another sip of champagne and I can tell she has something on her mind.

"What is it, Anastasia?" _What is she hiding from me?_

"Could we do it in the Sub Room instead?", she inquires and I stare at her in disbelief.

"Ana, you're no longer my submissive."

"I know but, the last time we were in there..." She stops and I know what she's going to say. The last time I was in her room was just before she left me.

"Are you sure you want to do that?", I whisper, hardly believing what I'm hearing.

"It was just a thought", she says quietly and after taking a deep breath, I give her my response.

"Only on one condition", I say eventually.

"What?", she asks and after giving her a wolfish grin, I lean in closer and whisper in her ear.

"Take off your panties and then I'll take you home." She inhales sharply and I can tell that this was not what she was expecting to hear.

"Right in here?", she squeaks, her eyes growing wider.

"Yes, right here. Now", I order and after she checks the main door, she smiles seductively just before moving her hands to her lap. I watch as she slowly, _very_ slowly, raises her hips and starts sliding her panties down her legs. She licks her lips as she bends further and slips her panties from her thighs before sitting up with them in her hand.

"Do you want them, _Sir_?", she whispers, emphasizing Sir.

"Yes, and then I'm gonna fuck you until you come", I smirk and she discreetly hands me her panties before I take them and stuff them in my pocket. I quickly stand from the table and hold my hand out for hers and after a moment, she accepts and stands to her feet. I lead her outside and head for the elevator. I press the button for the lobby and we wait as some people exit, just before we step in as well. We ride a few floors, occasionally stopping to let in more passengers, and I pull Ana to the corner before bending and pretending to fix my laces. I quickly glance up at the people before slowly reaching out and touching Ana's inner thigh. She gasps softly at my touch and I tenderly run my hand up her leg before reaching my goal. I run my fingers over her sex and very slowly insert one inside her. She gasps softly again and looks nervously at the other patrons, and I take the moment to slip in another finger. She writhes against my fingers and I can already tell she's wet.

"What are you doing?", she huffs as I circle my fingers and stretch her even further.

"What I've wanted to do since I saw you leaving work", I murmur and twist my fingers again as she leans into my touch. She grips my jacket as I feel her walls tightening and very quickly remove one finger.

"Don't come", I warn but I'm also aroused by her reaction. I glance quickly at the people in front of us and fortunately, they don't notice what we're doing. I notice Ana biting her bottom lip just before the elevator dings and I withdraw my finger.

"I'm so happy you were wearing a skirt", I remark as I briefly slips my fingers in my mouth and suck off her juices.

"I can't believe you just did that."

"Do I need to be punished?"

"Truthfully, I just want you to go further."

"And why is that?"

"Because you turned me on and I want you to fuck me", she almost shouts and I can't help my laugh.

"As ever, you're a hopeless romantic", I reply as I pull her into my arms and kiss her. Hard. After a few minutes, I pull away and we're both breathing hard.

"I think it's time we did something different", I huff and before she can respond, I take her hand and lead her outside.


	18. Chapter Seventeen

**Christian leads me** into the elevator in Escala, still firmly holding my hand and raising my anxiety as he pushes his button for his floor. What has he got planned?

"What are you thinking, Anastasia?", he asks, interrupting my reverie.

"What do you have planned for tonight?", I ask and he gives me a wolfish grin before giving me a response.

"I guess we'll have to find out", he replies before lifting my hand and kissing my knuckles in turn. _God, he's so frustrating sometimes._

He smirks when he notices my expression but before I can respond, the elevator dings and Christian leads me into the great room, still holding my hand firmly.

"Where is everyone?", I ask when the doors close.

"Watching the CCTV footage for Leila. They won't bother us tonight", he replies, anxious I think. Before I can press him on it further, he suddenly pulls me in and after a moment's hesitation, pulls my face to his and kisses me tenderly, instantly releasing delicious tingles down my spine. When his tongue teases the tip of my own, I gasp softly, allowing him more access to my mouth, and we explore and taste each other, leading to a small moan emanating from my throat. I feel him smirk against my lips and he kisses me one more time before pulling away, leaving me breathless.

"Are you sure you want to do this?", he asks anxiously and it takes me a moment to process what he means.

"Making love in your room", he assures me and I blush under his gaze.

"Only if you want to", I whisper and he closes his eyes briefly before opening them and assessing me silently.

"On one condition", he says simply and my brow furrows in response.

"What?", I breathe. _What has he got planned?_

"Come. I'll tell you when we're there", he responds and I pout in response. _God, he's infuriating sometimes_. He smirks at my reaction but before I can respond, he takes my hand in his and leads me upstairs before stopping outside a door at the end of the hall; my old sub room.

"Are you sure about this?", he asks me again, slightly more anxious, I think.  
"Yes", I pant and after a moment, he unlocks the door and gestures for me to enter first and I comply. He walks in behind me and closes the door briskly and I take a moment to marvel at the sight. It's still the same from the last time I was here, just before I left him.

"Can you keep an open mind?", he inquires.

"Yes?", I reply, though I still don't know what he wants.

"Undress me", he says and my eyes widen at his request. _He wants me to undress him._ I greedily glance up and down his body and after checking his posture—he's slightly tense—I go to reach for his jacket before he stops my hand. _What's wrong?_

"Not here", he regards me and I feel a pang of disappointment.

 _Give him time, Ana. He doesn't like to be touched,_ my subconscious reminds and after giving Christian a sincere smile, I instead reach for the waistband of his jeans and unhurriedly undo them before slowly sliding them down his legs, still leaving his boxers and motion for him to step out. He smirks at my silent command but does as he's told. I then reach for his boxers and they follow down his legs and I briefly smirks as he springs to life as I toss his boxers to the side. Not being able to resist, I lean forward and grip him tightly in my hand and after running my thumb over his tip, I gently insert him in my mouth and suck. Hard.

"Fuck, Ana", he gasps and I sheath my teeth as I take more of his length. I swirl my tongue around and around as his hips flex at my assault, and I look up at him through my lashes with lust and love burning in my eyes. _Fuck, he tastes good._

"Easy, Ana. I don't wanna come", he warns but I ignore him. I continue to take more of him in my mouth and start sucking harder, slowly tasting a salty bead of dew on his tip. I grip him harder and take more of him in my mouth, fighting my gag reflex as he hits the back of my throat.

"Ana, I don't wanna come", he repeats but I continue to ignore him. Soon, a sticky substance shoots into my mouth and swallowing quickly, I release myself and lick my lips, still gazing at him with lust in my eyes. He pulls me gently to my feet and slams his lips into mine, groaning inwardly as he tastes himself on my tongue.

"What am I gonna do with you?", he whispers but before I can respond, he suddenly lifts me and carries me over the bed before throwing me down as I giggle in response. I watch as he removes the rest of his clothes, standing gloriously naked before me, before motioning for me to remove my own clothes. I quickly oblige, throwing them on the floor as I do, and he smirks as he takes his tie from his suit and sits astride me on the bed.

"Hands", he orders and I do as I'm told. He hastily ties my wrists together and restrains them to my bed, causing me to smirk as I remember the last time he did this.

"What is it?", he asks amused.

"I was just thinking about the last time we did this", I grin, deliberately biting my bottom lip.

"Oh, yes. I remember that, too", he smirks and I watch as he tests the knot and sure enough, I can't move my arms.

"Do you trust me?", he inquires, looking apprehensive as he does.

"Yes", I pant and he grins at my remark.  
"Resist me", he retorts and I furrow my brows at his command.

"I want you to resist me", he repeats but I still don't know what he wants.

"You want me to safe-word?", I ask.

"No, I never want you to safe-word. I just want you to put up a fight as if you don't want me", he explains and I can see the wicked gleam in his eyes. _Oh my. He wants me to say no?_

"How?", I squeak.

"Don't let me touch you and say no when I do. If it gets too much, tell me to stop and I will." _Holy cow, he's serious about this. Can I do this? I never want to resist him and yet he wants me to. Is that why he tied me? So I could tell him no? Fuck, why is this so confusing?_

Christian grins when he notices my expression and before I can respond, he slowly reaches out and caresses my cheek, causing me to close my eyes and lean into his touch.

"Resist me, Ana", he orders gently and after a moment's hesitation, I slowly turn my head away from his touch and I can see the fire burning in his eyes.

"Oh, you'll have to do better than that, Anastasia. Resist me", he demands and goes to touch me again. I turn my head sharply at his touch and I can tell he's pleased by my reaction.

"Again", he whispers before reaching out and gently cupping my breast. I pull against my restraints and try to buck him away but he just grins at my movement and lightly teases my nipple with his thumb. _Gah, this is gonna be harder than I thought._

He then slowly moves his hand from one breast to the other and try as I might, I try to resist his advances but knowing him, I don't think that I can. His hand glides down my chest, over my belly, before resting at the apex of my thighs and his thumb softly brushing my sex. I gasp slightly at the touch but quickly buck my hips, telling him no when I do. I hear him chuckle deep in his throat before repeating his movement and slipping his middle finger inside me. I arch my back at the feel as he inserts another finger and twists them around, stretching me more as he does. I forget for a moment that I'm supposed to say no but once he starts pumping his fingers, I remember my defiance and buck my hips at the feel, silently telling him that I want him to stop. He groans deep within his throat and all too soon removes his fingers, causing me to whimper.

"We'll have to teach you to be still, Miss Steele", he whispers and I feel the bed lower and then rise as he stands on the floor and gently parts my legs, leaving me more exposed. I gaze down at him but before I know it, he replaces his fingers with his tongue and starts circling my clitoris, causing me to cry out.

"Oh, Christian", I whimper as he flicks his tongue and continues his assault, making me pull against my restraints as I surrender to his expert tongue. _God, that feels good._

"Please", I whine as I feel my walls begin to tighten and once I say it out loud, I arch my back as my orgasm rips through me and I sag on the bed as I recover from the aftershocks. Christian gently blows on my sex and stands from the foot of the bed before reaching in his pants' pocket and pulling out a condom. I watch as he rips it open with his teeth and slide it in on his length before reaching across and removing my restraints. He kisses me hard and teases my tongue with his own but before I can respond, he suddenly flips me over and slaps my backside before pulling my hips toward him and slamming into me.

"Hold on", he growls as he twists my hair in his hand and before I can protest, he starts pounding me from behind and I greedily match my movements with his own.

"Christian, please", I beg.

"Come for me, Ana. I want you to come", he hisses through his teeth and it's my undoing. I cry out his name as my climax takes over and he thrusts into me a few more times before I feel him still behind me and collapse on my back. We're both breathing hard as we calm down from our high and all too soon, he shifts slightly and gently pulls out of me, making me wince, and I watch as he removes the condom and knot it before tossing it in the trashcan and lying down beside me. I cautiously lie beside him, careful not to touch his chest as I rest my head on his shoulder and he holds me close.

"Will I ever get enough of you?", he says after a while and I smile against his chest.

"I hope not."

"Ditto", he replies and I can sense his smile.

"Why did you want me to say no to you?", I ask out of curiosity as he kisses my hair.

"It's always been a fantasy of mine. The thought of you saying no and not doing anything about it. It turns me on."

"Is that why you tied me up?"

"Partly, yes."

"Do you still not want me to touch you?", I ask out of nowhere and he stills when I do.

"No, I don't", he says simply and I feel bad for asking.

"Will you ever let me touch you? I'm not going to hurt you", I say gently.

"It's not that, Ana. I just can't bear to be touched."

"Because of your birth mom?"

"Because of her lover. My mom never hurt me." _Oh? This is news to me._

"Do you remember anything about her?", I inquire quietly and he freezes, leaving me to wonder if I've gone too far.

"I don't remember much. Just bits and pieces, honestly. I was too young to remember."

"Do you have any good memories of her?"

"Not much. Except that she let me braid her hair and once baked me a cake."

"Do you remember what kind?"

"Chocolate", he responds and I can tell he's smiling.

"Could I bake you one for your birthday?"

"You want to bake me a cake?"

"I seem to recall I can cook fairly well, Mr. Grey", I smirk.

"I'm well aware of that, Miss Steele", he says and I can tell he's remembering that one time I cooked for him after our first night. It feels so long ago.

"Is your mom the reason why you don't want to celebrate?"

"Mostly, yes. After she died, I never felt like celebrating."

"Do your parents know this?"

"They found out from the police when they found a few records of me and every year, they tried to make it special."

"Including Mia and Elliot?"

"Just Mia. Elliot never really cared about it."

"Why?"

"Jealous, I guess. When we first celebrated my birthday after I got adopted, he wanted all the attention and we even got into a fight."  
"You fought growing up?"

"Yeah, a lot. My mom never cared for it but I guess at a young age, my temper ws never far away."

"Fifty Shades", I giggle.

"Fifty Shades", he replies before kissing my hair.

"I'm sorry if I upset you. I'm just curious is all."

"I know. I think I'm starting to love that about you." _Oh?_

"You like it when I'm curious?", I say before sitting up.

"I like everything about you", he smiles and I can tell he means it.

"Even when I misbehave?", I challenge, raising my brow to emphasize my point.

"Especially when you misbehave", he grins, giving me _that_ look.

"What about when I take control?", I ask; I'm on a roll.

"Do you like to take control?"

"Only with you", I say, biting my bottom lip.

"How?", he questions and I gape at his response. _Holy shit, he's allowing me control._

Not wasting a moment, I suddenly climb on his lap and take his wrists in my hands, pinning them down on both sides of his head.

"Well, Miss Steele, what are you going to do now?", he quips, his eyes blazing when he does. I lean down and kiss his stubble before whispering in his ear.

"I'm going to fuck you until you scream", I reply, licking my bottom lip as he closes his eyes and breathes deeply, before opening them again and staring at me with lust. I reach in his pants' for another condom and after finding one, I rip it open with my teeth and pinch the tip before sliding it on his length. I grip him and lift my lips before slowly sliding on his length, relishing in the feel of him and how much I love him. I'll always love him and nothing he ever does will make me change my mind.


	19. Chapter Eighteen

**I'm sleeping soundly** in my bed before being woken up by what sounds like an alarm. I turn over sleepily and notice that the sound's coming from Christian's phone resting on the side table. I sit up to see who it is and see the name _John_ flashing on the screen. I furrow my brows and contemplate answering it but just like that, it stops on its own. I then hear the door handle rattling and look up to see Christian entering my room, his hair wet and clothes clean. _Hmm, I could get used to this._

"Good morning", he says as he leans over me and kisses me gently. Once he pulls away, I smile sweetly at his embrace.

"Did you sleep well, Miss Steele?"

"Just fine, Mr. Grey. You?"

"I always sleep better when you're with me", he smiles shyly and my heart constricts at the sight.

"You got a call on your phone", I blurt out loud and Christian gives me a puzzled expression. He reaches across to grab his phone and after checking for a few moments, he puts it in his back pocket.

"Nothing important", he assures me but the look in his eyes tells me he's uncertain.

"Who's John?"

"He's my therapist. I haven't seen him for a while."

"Why not?"

"No reason to visit", he grins.

"Would I ever get to meet him?", I ask without thinking and Christian furrows his brows at my question.

"Do you want to meet him?"

"I just wanna learn more about you."

"Don't you know enough?"

"But if I'm gonna move in, shouldn't I know more?"

"You want to move in?", he asks hopefully.

"Yeah. Yeah, I really do", I confess because deep down, I know this is what I want. Before I know it, Christian kisses me passionately and pins me down on the bed and after a while, I can sense his smile against my lips.

"Miss Steele, what am I gonna do with you?"

"I can think of something", I reply as I lift my hips up to meet his erection, which is growing at the feel.

"Oh, baby", he breathes and just like that, our conversation is forgotten.

 **We're driving somewhere** with Taylor and I can tell that Christian's tensing beside me.

"Are you okay?", I ask, forcing him to look at me.

"We're going to meet an old friend. It shouldn't be too long."

"Who?"

"It's a surprise", he smirks and raises my hand and kisses my knuckles in turn. I roll my eyes and turn my head, gazing out the window before hearing a soft chuckle.

"I know when you roll your eyes at me, Miss Steele."

"I'm fully aware of that, Mr. Grey, but alas there's nothing you can do about it."

"Is that so?"

"Not right now, anyway", I say as I turn to face him and deliberately bite my bottom lip.

"You are impatient as ever, Miss Steele."

"Mr. Grey, you have no idea."

 **We pull up outside** a building I don't recognize and Taylor comes to open the door for me and I climb out, immediately followed by Christian.

"Where are we?", I ask when Taylor climbs back into the car.

"You wanted to meet Dr. Flynn, so I scheduled an appointment." My mouth pops open when he gives me this confession.

"I was just kidding, Christian. I don't have to meet Dr. Flynn."

"It's like you said, Ana. If you're gonna move in, then you should know more about me", he says but by the tone of his voice, I can tell he's hiding something.

"Christian, I already know what I want to know. I love you for you."

"I know, but maybe once you meet Dr. Flynn, you can understand a little bit more." He regards me carefully and even though I don't know what's on his mind, I can already tell there's something he's not telling me. After taking a deep breath, I slowly nod my response and Christian seems to relax when I do. I reach up and kiss him gently on the lips, not caring at all if anyone can see. After a few minutes, we both pull away trying to catch our breath and when I look up at Christian, he gives me his shy smile, my favorite smile in the world.

"Are you ready, Miss Steele?"

"Always, Mr. Grey. Especially with you."

 **Christian leads me to** the main lobby and waves at the receptionist, who nods in response as we walk toward the elevator.

"Are you sure you want me to do this?", I ask once the elevator arrives.

"Of course", he replies but he still seems unsure. We ride in silence to Dr. Flynn's office and Christian leads me to the end of the hall before gesturing for me to stay where I am. I watch as he knocks a few times on the door and after a few moments, it opens in response.

"Christian?", a man asks in disbelief and I immediately assume that it's Dr. Flynn.

"Hello, John. I hope you don't mind an appointment", Christian responds before turning toward me and motioning for me to come. I quickly do as I'm told as Dr. Flynn opens the door wider and stares at me in surprise.

"Hello, Ana. It's such a pleasure to meet you." _He knows who I am?_

"You know me?"

"Of course, my dear. I saw you at the masquerade with Christian and just knew who you were." I look at Christian and he shrugs in response.

"What can I do for you?", John asks Christian.

"Ana wants to talk to you. She's agreed to move in with me and wants to learn what she can."

"Oh, I see. What would you like to know?", he inquires toward me and I don't know what to say.

"Um, I didn't really think of any questions."

"That's alright, my dear. If you want, we can get started right away", he gestures to the door and I look up at Christian who nods with permission. I take a deep breath and follow Dr. Flynn into his office and with one final look at Christian, he closes the door behind me.

"I must say, you were not what I was expecting", Dr. Flynn says suddenly, interrupting my reverie.

"I'm sorry?"

"From the other submissives. You're not what I was expecting."

"Oh, um..." _Shit, what am I supposed to say to that?_ John motions me to a white leather couch and after offering me a drink, he takes a seat across from me in a matching leather chair before reaching in a side table and pulling out a notebook. He adjusts his glasses and I suddenly feel as if I'm in the principal's office.

"So, tell me, how are you and Christian getting along?", he starts and I straighten my posture, briefly remembering my first meeting with Christian.

"Um, fine, I think."

"Are you still under a contract or has he moved on from that?"

"You know about the contract?" _When did Christian tell him about that?_

"Trust me, Ana, I know just as much as you do", he smiles warmly and I feel myself blushing.

"Um, we haven't really talked about it lately but he doesn't really want me to sign it anymore."

"Oh, is that so?"

"Yes, um, he says he wants a more vanilla relationship." _Jeez, why do I feel like I'm talking to Kate?_

"Really? I have to admit I'm surprised."

"Why?"

"Well, as you may have noticed, Christian isn't exactly what I like to call a committed individual, meaning that a real relationship has never been on his agenda."

"Yeah. It's the main reason why we weren't together at first."

"Were you shocked when he told you that?"

"Um, a little but after seeing the, um, Red Room, I think I understood why."

"What was your first reaction to seeing the Red Room for the first time."

"Honestly, it was pretty overwhelming. Then he told me about the contract and I didn't know what to expect."

"May I ask why you were so hesitant to sign?"

"Um, honestly, I've never been in a real relationship in my life, so the thought of someone I just met wanting me as his submissive, it was just kind of hard to accept right away."

"I don't blame you. Some of his other submissives were not virgins by the time he met them, but most of them had no BDSM experience at all."

"Really?"

"Yes, but I don't remember the exact number. Some went through a bad break-up or hadn't been, if you don't mind me saying, intimate for a while, so when the offer to become a submissive came to mind—with no disrespect to Christian—it wasn't exactly easy to embrace."

"Did any of them say no?"

"Some did, but none of them were forced. Everything between them and Christian was confidential and if any of them wanted out, all they had to do was ask."

"Did any of them get hurt?"

"Unless you're counting a broken heart then no, I wouldn't say so."

"Were they only with Christian? I mean, did they have anybody else?"

"Christian's not exactly the "sharing" type from what I've seen, so I highly doubt he stole them from anyone else."

"Is it also because of his jealousy?"

"Partly, but also because he doesn't like to share."

"I can see why", I mutter under my breath as I adjust myself in my seat.

"Has he ever shown any jealousy toward you?", Dr. Flynn asks as he takes down some notes.

"Ever since we met, even before that. I honestly don't know why."

"Why would you say that?"

"Isn't it obvious?"

"Not to me, my dear. If you don't mind me saying, but I can see very clearly why Christian wants to be with you."

"What do you mean?"

"For as long as I've known Christian, he's never fought for anything in his life or, more specifically, any _one_ in his life. When I saw the two of you together at the ball, I could instantly tell that you were something special and I've honestly never seen Christian happier until that moment. I have to say, I think you've left quite the impact."

"Do you think it'll last?", I ask out loud without thinking.

"Honestly, I can't say for certain, but I do know that Christian's a much better man than he gives himself credit for."

"Why is he so hard on himself?"

"Did he tell you about his mother?" I nod.

"After she died, Christian instantly set up this wall inside of himself and slowly started to turn against the world, that is until he met his adoptive family. From what he's told me, he was talking briefly when he first met Grace, Dr. Grey, but then he had a memory from his past and never felt the need to talk again after that." _Oh no..._

"How long did that last?", I ask, trying hard to keep my emotions at bay.

"A little over two years. Once Mia was adopted, he had a, I guess you say, eye-opening experience and his first word with her was in fact her name. Once he was older, he started acting out and always had a temper, and his brother, Elliot, instantly started fearing him and growing up, they got in a lot of fights. He even got expelled a couple of times just before he went to college."

"Oh my God..."

"Yes, but he's never been in any serious danger and, quite frankly, neither has anyone else. He definitely seems a lot calmer because of you."

"He's still fighting with some control over me."

"I don't doubt it, but it's just in his nature. He needs to control and if he doesn't have it, it brings him back to that dark time in his life."

"What do you mean?"

"Christian has always blamed himself for his mother's death but at the same time, he resents her for leaving. He doesn't want to admit it but deep down, I know he truly loved her, just as much as he loves his new one."

"Has he ever been to her grave?"

"Once he left, he never went back. Honestly, nobody knows where she's buried."

"That must've been so terrible for him...", I whisper, choking back a sob.

"Ana", Dr. Flynn says gently before leaning closer to me. "I know Christian's a little hard to get to know, but I promise you that he's a very good man. He might need some growing up to do but ever since you came into his life, I've seen the change in him and anyone that cares for him knows it's something to behold. I don't know what you're doing but in my personal opinion, I suggest you keep it up." He smiles warmly at me before sitting back in his chair and I smile shyly in response and for a while, we talk more about Christian.

 **After about an hour** or so passes, my time with Dr. Flynn is cut short and as I'm shaking his hand and about to leave, I suddenly hear my phone ringing and pull it out before checking the caller ID; it's Kate. Excusing myself, I quickly answer the call.

"Kate", I answer, obviously excited to hear from her.

"Ana! God, it's so good to hear your voice."

"Are you back from Barbados?"

"Actually, we come in tomorrow night but my brother came back a little early for a meeting and was wondering if he could stay at your place until we get back."

"Oh, um, I'm not sure if I'm gonna be there to be honest." _Shit, how the hell am I supposed to tell her?_

"Why not?"

"Um, Christian asked me to move in with him and I need to get some things before I do." Kate's silent for a while and I check to make sure she's still with me.

"Kate?"

"Ana, are you sure about this? You hardly know the guy."

"I know, but this is what I want. Besides, it means you and Elliot can have more privacy", I joke and Kate laughs in response.

"Well, that's obviously a welcome change but Ana, are you sure it's the right move?"

"I'm positive, Kate. I love Christian and I want to do this. I'll be fine; I promise", I reassure her and after what feels like forever, she sighs deeply on the other side before giving me an answer.

"Well, if that's what you want..."  
"I do."

"Well, in that case, I can help you move when we get back home."

"Deal, and later we can have dinner and catch up."

"Sounds like a plan. I gotta go but Ethan should be on his way. I can't wait to see you!"

"Me too. Call me when you land."

"Will do. Laters, Ana."

"Laters", I giggle and hang up. I follow Dr. Flynn to the door and he opens it for me, just so I can step out and find Christian leaning against the wall.

"All done?", he asks, a little anxious—I think.

"Yes, but hopefully you'll sign on for a future session", Dr. Flynn scolds him as Christian takes my hand.

"We'll see, John", Christian replies dismissively and John chuckles in response.

"It was a pleasure to meet you, Ana. I hope to see you again soon", he says as he shakes my hand goodbye.

"The pleasure was all mine, Dr. Flynn."

"Oh please, call me John", he grins. "And remember what we talked about, okay?"

"Okay", I smile sweetly and with one final wave, Christian leads me outside.

"What did you talk about?", Christian asks before we exit the building.

"Lots of things", I tease.

"Such as?", he smirks.

"You", I grin while biting my bottom lip.

"You're impossible, Miss Steele."

"So are you, Mr. Grey."

We climb inside the car before Taylor asks where we'd like to go.

"Escala", Christian answers.

"Um, can we go by my apartment? Kate's brother, Ethan, wanted to see me."

"For what?"

"He's gonna be staying there until Kate and Elliot get back. It'll only be for one night", I say, secretly hoping we don't have a fight about this. After a while, Christian sighs and nods his approval and I lean across before giving him a kiss.

 _Benefit of the doubt...I can definitely do that for now._

 **We pull up outside my apartment** and just as I'm climbing out, Christian gets a phone on his cell and grunts when he sees the caller ID.

"Two minutes", I mouth before he nods in response and I quickly climb out into the pouring rain before heading for the intercom and calling for my place. After a moment, I'm finally accepted and make my way inside and open the door. Ethan's not here yet, so I make my way to the bathroom for my toothbrush and toothpaste but as I reach my room, I suddenly hear something fall to the ground and freeze in place as I carefully check the house. I don't see anything and shrug it off as my imagination and continue making my way to grab a few things from my bathroom. I grab some toiletries and gaze at myself in the mirror, grinning widely at what I'm about to do.

 _Christian. I'm moving in with Christian._

Was Kate right? Am I moving too fast for this or is this really what I want?

 _Of course it's what you want!,_ my subconscious screams and I silently curse myself for having such thoughts. Just then, I hear something in the living room but freeze again as I make out the sound. I assume it's Ethan waiting for me, so I call out to him saying I'll be out in a minute and grab a few more things, just before making my way down the hallway while putting a few things in my pocket. I look up and stop in my tracks and instead of Ethan, I see Leila gazing at me from across the room and something shiny held firmly in her hand. Upon closer inspection, I see that it's a gun. My blood immediately runs cold as I take a deep breath to try and calm my nerves. The look in her eyes show hints of determination, but also another emotion that makes me unable to breathe; anger. She's angry at me.

"Anastasia. I was hoping it'd be you." _Oh no, what am I gonna do?_


	20. Chapter Nineteen

**It's Leila. Leila Williams,** standing in front of me with a gun in her hand. I stand frozen before her as she looks over me, almost as if I'm an exotic creature she's never seen before in her life.

"I see why Master loves you", she whispers. "You're much prettier than me." _Why would she think that? I look nothing like her._ Although, as I gaze at her again, I suddenly realize what she means. Her dark eyes cast shadows, as if she hasn't slept in days, and her hair is almost the same shade of mine—although on closer inspection, it looks dirty and unclean. Her skin is pale, like she hasn't been outside in weeks, and her wrists still bear the dirty, bloody bandages I saw the last time I saw her. She looks sad and lost, as I'm her rival she feels compelled to defeat. Shaking, I take a deep breath and smile briefly in her wake.

"Hello, Leila. It's nice to meet you," I manage to address past the knot in my throat. Does she want to hurt me or is she here for Christian? She cocks her head to one side, almost as if she's surprised that I can talk.

"Master talks about me?", she asks, as if this revelation isn't something she was expecting.

"Yes," I choke before trying again. "He told me what happened. I'm so sorry, Leila," I reply compassionately. Her eyes well up with tears and her fingers grip the gun tighter, as if it's an anchor she needs to hold to survive. She looks down at the floor, sniffling silently as she does, before gazing at me again as tears fall down her cheeks.

"Don't lie to me, Anastasia. Master never wanted me," she chokes and I furrow my brows at her comment. _Never wanted her?_

"What do you mean?", I ask cautiously, silently praying that Christian stays away in case Leila wants to hurt him.

"Master never loved me. I loved him, but he always said no," she begins, her fingers tightening on the gun as I discreetly hold my breath.

"I'm sure that's not true. He was trying to find you."

"He never found me," she cries as she blinks briefly at the words. "We were under the contract. He treated me well and always took care of me. I told him I loved him. He never said it back. He only said it to you."

"Is that why you're upset? Because he didn't tell you the same?", I inquire, still praying that Christian steers clear.

"He never loved me. He never loved any of us. We always loved him, but he never loved us," she whispers, as if this was a dark secret she's never told anyone but me.

"I'm so sorry, Leila," I say quietly, hoping my voice is calming when I do.

"Tell me what you have that I don't," she blurts and it takes me a moment to process what she's said.

"What?", I ask, not knowing what she meant.

"You look like me. We're one in the same. Why does Master love you and not me?" _Oh shit, what am I supposed to say to that?_

"Leila, I have nothing to offer. Christian, Master, he'll get tired of me. I have nothing to give." Leila looks at me and I briefly see a hint of anger in her eyes. I think my heart has stopped beating entirely.

"Master never slept in our beds; we always slept with him. I saw him in your bed. He looked happy with you." _What? She saw Christian and me in bed?_

"Did you break into my apartment?", I inquire cautiously, trying hard to squeeze the words past the lump in my throat.

"I was never like this before. Master treated me well. Said I was a perfect submissive. I wanted to see if he treated you the same way. You're giving him everything I couldn't. He loves you more than me", she replies softly and her grip around the gun loosens as well, and I briefly wonder if she'll drop it to the floor.

"Leila", I respond quietly while still standing in place. "I'm so sorry Christian never loved you the way you wanted, but I know he cared about you as much as you cared about him. He wouldn't have come back if he didn't care for you at all." _Why am I telling her this?_ She's holding me at gunpoint and I don't know her objective.

"He came back for you", she continues, her grip tightening once again. "You left him and you still came back." _Has she been spying on me since we broke up? How come I never noticed her?_

"Leila, I'm nothing special to Master and I know he still cares for you. He might not know it, but I know he still does. Please believe me." She then fires a shot at the back wall, making me jump, before pointing the gun at me with determination in her eyes.

"Stop lying to me! I don't like to be lied to," she shouts, and I can feel my heart pounding in my chest.

"You're not the one for him. You don't know him the way I do; the way all of us do," she retorts, still holding her gun firmly in her hand.

"What do you mean?", I whisper, trying hard to remain calm when I do.

"Did Master ever tell you why he likes to punish us? Why he needs control? We're not the only ones that look like his mother." _What is she talking about?_

"Leila, why don't you give me the gun and I'll let you talk to Christian?"

"You can never be enough for him! You don't love him the way I do. Nothing we do will ever be enough", she shouts and I watch in horror as her finger moves slightly on the trigger but before she can fire, the door bursts open and we both look to see Christian and Taylor standing in the doorway, looking almost as scared as I feel. I breathe a sigh of relief as Christian looks from me to Leila and Leila stares at him as if she's staring at a ghost. Taylor starts to move toward her but Christian quickly stops him before gazing at me again and pointing to Leila, pointing at her gun. Leila stands frozen, not knowing what he wants, but he then points his finger to himself and Leila immediately turns her gun and points it at his chest.

"Christian," I yell but he quickly silences me as Leila holds her gaze and Christian holds hers. He walks slowly toward her, his eyes never leaving hers, and slowly reaches up before taking the gun from her hand and placing it in his pocket. I audibly hear Taylor sigh in relief, but Christian ignores him as he continues to stare at Leila, almost as if she's a stranger. He then slowly opens his arms for her, inviting her to walk into them, and she hesitates before stepping in his embrace as he holds her tight. I gasp softly at the sight as Leila cries into his overcoat, and Christian slowly strokes her hair, calming her as he does. He looks to Taylor, who them immediately steps in front of me before extending his hand for mine, silently coaxing me to leave. I continue to stand frozen as I watch Christian and Leila, almost like two lovers who were brought back together. _Together._ A lump forms in my throat as I picture them both together: her kneeling in the play room, Christian ordering her around, and her silent submission to every word he says. _The perfect submissive._ A chill runs down my spine as I see it as clearly as I see them.

"Ana, I want you to go to Escala with Taylor. I'll meet you there," Christian orders, and a small tear runs down my cheek. This is what he wants; a submissive like Leila who obeys his every command. Not me. Not a woman who defies him every chance she can. I can never be what he wants; the perfect submissive who obeys every command. That's Leila; not me.

"Ana, do as you're told. I don't want to say it again," Christian orders more sternly, almost forcing me to leave so he can be alone with Leila. I suddenly can't breathe.

"Ana, for once, just do as you're told," Christian repeats through gritted teeth, not hesitating to show his annoyance at me not doing as he wants.

Before I know it, Taylor suddenly takes me in his arms and drags me to the door before closing it behind me, with Christian still holding Leila as she continues to weep in his arms. I finally manage to pull my gaze away from them and try to follow Taylor outside, just as it starts to rain and the view almost blocks the view of the streets.

"Miss Steele," Taylor says as he holds my door for me, but my feet stay in place as I think about Leila and Christian alone in my apartment. The rain runs down my coat and onto the sidewalk, sending a quick shiver down my spine as the cold rain hits my skin. I gaze at Taylor, who's waiting patiently for me to enter, before turning on my heel and walking the other way.

"Miss Steele," Taylor calls out but I choose to ignore him.

"Ana," he calls but I continue to ignore him as I slip the hood of my coat over my head and walk briskly across the street. Leila's words keep racing through my head, sending my blood on fire as I try to process what she said.

 _"_ _Master never slept in our beds; we always slept with him. I saw him in your bed. He looked happy with you."_

 _"_ _Did Master ever tell you why he likes to punish us? Why he needs control? We're not the only ones that look like his mother."_

 _"_ _He came back for you." "You left him and you still came back."_ Suddenly, I feel nauseous at her words. After everything she went through and all her time with Christian, it still hurt her inside because she wanted more.

 _Shit._ I wanted more when I first met Christian, but it wasn't until we broke up when he decided he did, too. Why am I suddenly so different to him? He never wanted more, so why would he now? Leila gave him everything he wanted, yet there she was, sad and hurt because he never told her he loved her; because she wanted more.

I think back to when I first confessed to Christian that I loved him, and how horrified he was as if he didn't want it to be true. It was two weeks until I saw him again, and now, what are we supposed to do?

 _"_ _You can never be enough for him! You don't love him the way I do. Nothing we do will ever be enough",_ Leila's words ring loud and clear in my head. Christian needs control but every time I defy him, it takes it away and he doesn't know what to do. He says he likes it, but what about when he wants me to behave? And after we broke up, how can we ever look past that? I left him because he went too far, but what if he does it again? What will I do? How can I ever be everything he wants me to be? Maybe Leila was right. How could I ever be enough for Christian?

 **A few hours pass by** and I'm suddenly standing outside Escala, as the rain pours harder leaving me soaked. _Would Christian be here or is he still with Leila? What if he brought her here? What if he decides he doesn't want me anymore? No, I refuse to believe that for a second._

Taking a deep breath, I calmly enter Escala and ride the elevator to Christian's penthouse.

 _Please don't be here. Please don't be home._

The doors open as I step into the foyer, and I immediately hear a voice coming from nearby, and look to see Christian walking into the great room, talking on the phone.

"Forget it, she's here," he says before hanging up the phone and walking straight to me.

"Where the fuck have you been?", he barks but I ignore him and start to head for the stairs.

"Anastasia," he calls out, but I continue to ignore him.

"Ana", he calls out again and I reluctantly turn around to find him standing right behind me, with clear apprehension burning in his eyes.

"Where the fuck were you? I told you to come straight here and now it's twenty after ten," he scolds but I choose not to care.

"I'd figure you'd want to spend time with your girlfriend. Someone who doesn't defy you and does whatever you want," I reply curtly and his brows furrow in response.

"What are you talking about? Do you have any idea how many hours my people and I spent trying to find you?"

"I can take care of myself, Christian. But I'm sure it upsets you because you always need control."

"What's gotten into you? I've been worried sick about you, Ana! I told you to come straight here."Where's Leila? Is she upstairs waiting for you?" He frowns at my comment as if I've grown an extra head.  
"Why would you think that? I sent her to Dr. Flynn's so she can get the help that she needs."

"Why isn't she here?"

"Why on earth would I bring her back here if it meant she was gonna hurt you?"

"And yet you had no problem holding her the way you did."

"She had a gun, Ana. I would've done anything to subdue her."

"Then why weren't you with her?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Christian, Leila told me that I could never be enough for you. She loved you the way you were but she still couldn't win your heart."

"Ana, I told you. I wasn't interested in more until the day I met you."

"But I'm not a perfect submissive, Christian. Once I get out of line, you always feel the need to punish me."

"Ana, we've talked about this. I need to have control because it's the way I am."

"Then what about your mother? Did you need control over her?"

"What? She abandoned me when I was four."

"And yet you punish women because we look like her," I blurt and Christian's eyes widen in response.

"Ana, it's not like that. You're nothing like she was."

"Then why do it, Christian? Why punish women who look exactly like your mother?" As I ask this, I can see the fear in his eyes, almost as if I've discovered a dark secret he doesn't want me to know.

"Christian, I'm too tired to talk about this, but maybe we should split up until you decide what you want."

"What?", he exclaims, almost as if I've slapped him. "You can't leave. You can't leave me again."

"Then why should I stay, Christian? You've been an enigma ever since I met you, and only Mrs. Robinson knew your secrets after she decided to seduce and abuse you."

"Ana, it wasn't like that. I've already told you more about myself than I've ever told her."

"And yet you're still hiding something from me without telling me what it is!", I shout, startling us both when I do. Christian opens his mouth to say something, but closes it again while trying to think of a response.

"Ana, please don't leave me. I was lost when you left and I never want it to happen again," he pleads and my eyes swell up when he does.

"Christian, please don't. I can never be what you want. I can't give you control if you don't tell me why you need it."

"Ana, I never wanted to hurt you."

"But you still did whenever I step out of line! How am I supposed to believe you won't do that to me again? What could you possibly say to prove I'm what you want?" As I say this, Christian's brow furrows before opening his eyes again but before I can respond, I suddenly see him sink to the floor, resting on his knees with his palms up and staring down at the floor. It takes me a moment to process what he's doing, until it suddenly dawns on me what he's doing right in front of me.

 _Oh my God..._

 _It's Christian...Christian the submissive._


End file.
